8 Chapter 8

Katsuki was busy. One week after their first sparring match, he'd managed to top rankings for most villains bagged, and then stayed at the top. From what Izuku could tell, the man only slept, trained, and worked. And occasionally kissed Izuku silly in a concerning variety of places, though he'd had to put his foot down when Katsuki tried to pull him into a porta potty at a disaster site. Izuku had been trying his best to get the man alone, but for someone who Ochako claimed was 'wrapped around his little finger,' Katsuki had been impossible to tie down.

It's not that Izuku wasn't busy either, which actually made it more difficult. He'd been coming in 4th or 5th on the number of villains bagged (two spots behind Katsuki), but only because he'd taken down some major players that took large-scale operations, and didn't count for numbers. He'd also submitted an application to take an intern or sidekick, and had been vetting candidates. He still managed to make time for Katsuki, whether it was pre-late-shift coffee or crashing their friends' events, but time alone in private was rare.

Then, there was the time Katsuki finally passed Izuku in the hero rankings, pushing to #15. As salty as Izuku was about being #16, he was determined to be happy for Katsuki, because he was a good friend, or uh, lover, or whatever the hell they were. They'd been at some dingy sports bar with "the guys," which typically meant some combination of Kirishima, Kaminari, Mina, Sero, Shinsou, Jirou, or Tsu, depending on the day. Katsuki had been acting especially insufferable, and the reason became apparent when he leaned across the table towards Izuku, rankings glowing on the screen.

It was obvious that he was pointing out that he'd surpassed Izuku, if only from the delinquent grin on his face. In a moment, Izuku had shoved down his disappointment at falling behind and pasted a smile on his face.

"Congrats, Kacchan," he said, aware of their friends watching intently. Their old UA rivalry was well known, after all. Katsuki's grin widened, a sure sign of trouble.

"Fuck that, how's it feel to fall behind me, useless Deku?"

"Temporary," Izuku snipped back, feeling less tolerant than normal. Either Katsuki didn't pick up on it or flat-out didn't care, because he went right on with the gloating.

"Ha! As if I'd let you catch up. Eat my ass, loser," he crowed, leaning back. Fine, he wanted to play it like that? Izuku gave him a hard stare, crossing his arms. It was more or less an intimidating posture - Izuku's arms and chest were heavily muscled, and he knew the move highlighted it. He also had an adorable baby face which ruined the effect, so much so that there'd been news articles about it. Izuku digressed.

"Eat your ass?" Izuku repeated, then on impulse added, "Maybe I will."

"Duuuuude," Mina shrieked, "Yessss!" Everyone else looked completely appalled at Izuku's words. Katsuki stared at him for a second, his grin gone. Izuku couldn't understand his expression and was starting to worry, until It happened. It being the rare and beautiful full-face Katsuki blush. Apparently realizing he looked like a blonde tomato, Katsuki hid his face in his arms, elbows thumping onto the table.

"Fucking hell, Deku," he muttered. Kirishima recovered first, slapping Katsuki across the back with maybe too much strength.

"Get it, Bakubro," he laughed.

"I think he's a bad influence on you," Tsu said to Izuku, with a perfect deadpan.

"So do you just eat Katsuki's ass, or are you looking for more asses?" Kaminari said, with an over-the-top perverted expression. "'Cause I've got an ass." 90% chance that he was joking.

Katsuki lifted his head, face still bright red, and glared. "I will really murder you, asshole," he growled.

"This is actually the best day of my life," Kaminari said, snickering.

"Denki. I will kill you."

"Baku-go with the flow, man," Kaminari said, waving a hand. He was being brave, largely because Kirishima was a very strong buffer between him and Katsuki. Despite Kirishima's best efforts, the resulting shouting match nearly got them kicked out.

That night, Izuku got a text.

Kacchan: U gonna follow thru on what u said or what

Kacchan: My place. tomorrow. im off at 11pm

Apparently there were drawbacks to publicly sassing Bakugou Katsuki. Drawbacks that Izuku could not complain about, because it led to him sitting on Katsuki's kitchen counter, watching the man fuss around in the kitchen. Izuku was actually having a great time, because Katsuki clearly wanted to bring up what Izuku had said before, but was deeply struggling to get the words 'please eat my ass,' out. Seeing as Katsuki was normally so straightforward, this was a moment to be relished.

Besides, you can't really fall for Bakugou Katsuki without having some kind of mean streak. Even if it's strictly benevolent and reserved for teasing, like in Izuku's case.

"Hey Kacchan, was there something you wanted?" This was his version of mercy. Katsuki looked up from where he'd been aggressively drying dishes, expression thunderous.

"You know fucking what."

"How could I know?" Izuku smiled his best ray-of-sunshine smile. Katsuki stalked over, putting his hands on Izuku's knees. There was a faint blush growing on his angular cheeks, and Izuku was power-tripping, hard. Given that Katsuki seemed to be power-tripping constantly throughout his entire life, Izuku didn't feel bad taking a turn.

"What you said, before," Katsuki replied, voice like gravel.

"Gosh, Kacchan, I say so many things," Izuku smiled an innocent, baby-bunny smile. Katsuki looked like his head was about to combust.

"What game are you playing, lil' Deku?" He leaned in, his fingers spreading over Izuku's upper thighs.

"You tell me, Kacchan." Izuku leaned back on the counter, not missing how Katsuki stared at his shirt riding up. Oops. "If you want me to do something, just ask."

Katsuki's lips pulled back in a snarl, but Izuku cut him off fearlessly. "Ask nicely ," Izuku clarified. Katsuki's mouth snapped shut, his jaw tense. To be fair, Izuku was fully planning to eat his ass. He'd been completely unable to stop thinking about it, what with Katsuki's ass dominating social media for the last few weeks. Still, you can't blame him for messing with Katsuki first.

Katsuki dropped his head into Izuku's stomach, breath hot on his skin. "Please," he breathed out. Izuku ran his hands over Katsuki's bowed back, feeling the tense muscles. He almost felt bad for the guy, who was obviously struggling to choke down his pride.

"Please what?" Izuku asked, sweet as sugar. He almost felt bad.

Katsuki looked up, death in his eyes. "Unbelievable," he said through clenched teeth. "Little fucking Deku acting like the baddest motherfucker on the planet, huh? Me and everyone else in the fucking world were fooled by your stupid pretty face thinking you were some kind of goddamn decent, pure-hearted person when you're actually a piece of shit tease who is actively ruining my fucking life for no goddamn reason."

Izuku miraculously kept a straight face, despite the urge to giggle at Katsuki's theatrics. "Kacchan," he said, softly.

"What!"

"Say, 'eat my ass, please. "

Katsuki's jaw clenched, and he stares at Izuku's knees. The way his hands dug into his thighs was almost painful, but Izuku could endure it if resulted in this .

"Midoriya Izuku, please eat my fucking ass. Fuck." He didn't look up, and Izuku couldn't really care because he was busy trying not to lose his collective shit over how goddamn turned on it made him. Katsuki had said one simple sentence, and he was already hard.

"Mmm," Izuku said hoarsely, "Not bad. Terrible attitude, too much swearing, but you got the important part in there."

"Piece of shit," Katsuki snapped, and snatched him off the countertop and stormed into the bedroom before bodily tossing him the last five feet onto the bed.

"I feel like that's not the right attitude," Izuku protested, breathless. He didn't want to let on how much he liked being tossed around, because it would definitely give Katsuki ideas. Ideas that Izuku wanted to explore, but not right at this second. He had business to do.

"Fucking fine," Katsuki snapped, stopping next to the bed. "What do you want, then?"

Easy. "Strip."

Katsuki shot him an unreadable look, then yanked off his shirt violently, tossing on the floor. The rest of his clothes landed on the floor seconds later, and then Izuku had a buck-naked Katsuki standing in front of him, half-hard and breathing heavily.

It was a sight. Bakugou Katsuki naked (and angry) was basically god's gift to all genders. He stood awkwardly, letting Izuku drink the sight in. Every twitch of muscle, the way his hands clenched into fists, the scars covering his body. Izuku swallowed hard, amazed by the intimacy and the fact that he was here with Katsuki like this in the first place. Katsuki cleared his throat. "Happy now?"

"Yes, you're just…" Izuku trailed off. Then it hit him: Katsuki was self-conscious, and he was making him stand there like a huge jerk. He patted the bed. "You're so, so," he struggled. What word encapsulates Bakugou Katsuki? He sighed, giving up. "Beautiful. Perfect. Terrifying. I don't know."

"Whatever," Katsuki muttered, lying on the bed. His gruff tone did nothing to hide his faint blush. It was overwhelmingly endearing. Izuku was so damn soft on him.

"No," he said, leaning over him, running a hand up one muscled leg. "Really. You're amazing. It's amazing that I'm here with you like this."

"You buttering me up, Midoriya?"

"Yep," Izuku stuck his tongue out. "Now turn over, you beautiful asshole."

"As long as you eat my beautiful asshole," Katsuki mumbled, but turned over. Right. The task on hand. Izuku could only dream of a face-down-ass-up Katsuki, because the one in front of him was just chilling out on his stomach like he was at the beach, being completely unhelpful. Well, Izuku had wanted a chance to do some of the work, and he could certainly work with this.

He ran both hands up Katsuki's legs, feeling each muscle, each scar. His ass was perfect, tight and unreasonably chiseled for a fatty part of the body. Izuku took a moment to just savor touching it, the fact that Katsuki allowed him to be here at all.

"Fuckin' falling asleep up here, Deku," Katsuki called. It was a lot more sass than Izuku was willing to allow, and Izuku instinctually slapped his ass in retribution. The man yelped, and twisted to face him, face outraged. Izuku automatically grabbed his hips and flipped him back onto his stomach, pinning him down with one hand in the small of his back. Then he realized what he'd done. Shit.

"Wait, Kacchan, was that okay?" He actually had no idea how Katsuki felt about all of this. It was hard to tell when he was being difficult just for the sake of it, or if he was actually truly uncomfortable.

"Shut up Deku," Katsuki growled. "Do I have to fucking ask again? Do you want me to beg?" He sounded like he'd actually do it.

"How are you so hot when you're being so difficult?" Izuku sighed, and returned to the real target: dat ass. He ran a finger over it, gentle at first. Katsuki's whole body shuddered. Fuck. Izuku's plans of going slow went straight out the window, and he spread those ass cheeks.

Katsuki reacted even better to a tongue than a finger, moaning into a pillow, pushing his ass up like he was asking for more. Izuku would damn well give it to him, pushing his tongue in, controlling Katsuki's hips. He was so absorbed in what he was doing he almost missed Katsuki's very sneaky attempt to jerk himself off, hand creeping from gripping the pillow to under his stomach. Izuku slapped it away.

"No, Kacchan. I'm taking care of you tonight," he said. A pause, and whatever shred of pride Katsuki had been holding on broke.

"Deku," he growled, "Please." Izuku was too blown away to do anything for a moment. A moment too long, apparently, because Katsuki arched his back, shoving his ass up in the air impatiently, arms extended in front of him.

"Holy shit," Izuku whispered. Literally nothing could have prepared him for this sight. Katsuki twisted to look Izuku in the eye.

"Like what you see, Deku?"

"Fuck," was all Izuku could say, as Katsuki sneered at him.

"Yeah? Then do something about it." He turned back around, clearly waiting. Oh, Izuku would do something. One lick had Katsuki groaning in pleasure, and soon Izuku was buried in his ass, one hand reaching around to stroke his dick. Izuku lost track of time quickly, lost in the bliss of Katsuki moaning beneath him.

Katsuki was not quiet in bed, apparently ever. He came with a half-screamed, "Fuck!" hands gripping a pillow, and then mumbled a stream of expletives Izuku couldn't follow. He slowly rolled over, looking at Izuku pensively. Had Izuku done something wrong? He suddenly wasn't sure, and he felt overwhelmingly awkward sitting at the foot of the bed while Katsuki watched him. Katsuki sighed, heavily.

"Remember when I blew you?" Katsuki's voice was quiet. Izuku would never forget. "Well, now it's your turn."

It took Izuku far too long to realize what he meant - Katsuki wanted to be held. Like he'd held an overwhelmed Izuku back on that night. Izuku nearly fell over in his rush to get to him, and had Katsuki gathered up in his arms in no time.

"You good?" he said. Katsuki nodded, turning to push his head into Izuku's chest. Izuku's heart squeezed. He would literally kill for cuddly Katsuki, damn it. He was too precious for this world, like a little angry teddy bear.

"Don't usually do it like that," Katsuki murmured.

"Always top, huh?" Izuku smiled, petting his hair. He knew a lot of guys like that, and it didn't surprise him that-

"Fuck no," Katsuki said, sounding irritated. "I do whatever. I just usually do this with like…"

"Like what?"

"Not with tiny, cute-faced idiots," Katsuki ground out. "It's a different feeling, different headspace. Not bad."

"But you were so good," Izuku said, figuring praise was always a safe bet. He was right. Katsuki rolled over to look up at him, lips curving into a smile.

"You're gonna fucking kill me with this bullshit, aren't you?"

"I'll do my best," Izuku said, soberly. "It's a little strange, isn't it?"

"Mm?"

"Just like, if I'd told you I'd um, eat your ass back in UA, you'd have actually killed me. I'd be rotting in a grave somewhere, by now."

Katsuki's laugh was so loud Izuku flinched. He tilted his head up, a smirk playing across his lips. "Deku, no. I absolutely would have let you, even back then. I was fucking wasted over you."

"What?" Izuku stared down at him. "You… what?

"I told you already," Katsuki admonished him. "I wanted you so damn badly. If you'd ever shown even the slightest interest, I'd have made a goddamn fool of myself over it. I wanted you so bad I literally kissed you out of the blue, like some kind of desperate idiot. No, I straight-up was a desperate idiot."

"No way," Izuku snorted. "One time I said good morning to you, and you told me to, what was it? Fuck off and drown in a pool of my dork tears?"

"Knowing you, that's probably an exact quote," Katsuki snickered. "I didn't fucking handle it well, okay? You'd walk over the place looking cute as all hell, and all I could think were these shitty sexual thoughts."

"I had no idea," Izuku said, disbelieving but deeply intrigued. "What kind of thoughts? I want examples, Kacchan."

"You're gonna think I'm a pervert," Katsuki grumbled.

"I already do," Izuku told him, and kissed his temple. Katsuki sighed in resignation.

"Hmph. Fine. Like uh, in class. You'd get all excited giving your damn over-prepared presentations, blushing like a bride and smiling at everyone. All I could think about was what you'd look like choking on my cock. Fuckin' hated myself for thinking like that but I couldn't stop."

"Huh," Izuku coughed. Katsuki had thought about him like that then? Ever? It made him strangely… self-satisfied. He felt sexy, for once. Izuku was cursed with a permanent babyface. Not only had it made it harder to get people to take him seriously, people didn't tend to… want to be dirty with him. He'd had way too many lovers say things along the lines of ' You're so cute, let me make sweet gentle love to you.' Apparently Katsuki did not suffer from that affliction.

"Deku? You think I'm a disgusting pervert now," Katsuki huffed.

"No, it's nice," Izuku murmured, still lost in thought.

"Huh? Nice?" Katsuki almost shouted, and Izuku looked up at him, mind elsewhere. There was still one thing he was dying to know.

"Do you still think like that?"

"Like what?" Katsuki was still being loud, clearly having no idea what was going through Izuku's head. Izuku didn't care; he was on a roll, and would not be stopped.

"Do you see my adorable face on TV doing interviews and think about stuffing your dick in my mouth?"

Katsuki's mouth snapped shut. "Jesus Christ Deku, when did your mouth get so dirty?"

"You don't like it?" Izuku knew he did, but positive validation never hurts.

"Sure, I still think like that. Never stopped." Katsuki said it so casually, ignoring Izuku's obvious fishing for compliments. But what he said still broke Izuku's poor brain. This whole time? Apparently bored by the topic, Katsuki looked down at the mess on his stomach and sighed. "I should probably do laundry."

Izuku followed Katsuki around his flat like a puppy, enjoying the quiet domesticity of watching Bakugou Katsuki toss his sheets in the washing machine. Feeling encouraged by their earlier conversation and intimacy, he finally got up the courage to ask the one question plaguing his mind.

"Kacchan, what are we?"

"We're us," Katsuki replied simply, with that strangely fond look on his face. He leaned back against the washer, looking up at something neither of them could see. "Kacchan and Deku, right?

Izuku was losing his mind. He'd never done well with unknowns, preferring to exhaustively prepare for everything. Katsuki was one enormous unknown, managing to squirm out of literally any way Izuku tried to feel out their relationship. He didn't want to push it, but they'd been dancing around each other for weeks. The training, the flirting, everything. Katsuki was sending mixed signals. He'd aggressively flirt, he'd hover around Izuku like a bee around honey any time they were in public together. Then when Izuku would try to broach the topic, Katsuki would say something vague and positive-sounding, which actually didn't help Izuku at all.

Izuku finally seized the chance to talk after training one day, figuring that it couldn't be that bad. Katsuki obviously liked him, right? They'd figure it out no matter what.

"So let's compare notes later," Katsuki was saying. Izuku pulled himself into the present moment.

"Of course," Izuku said, maybe a little too eagerly. "As much as you want. Um…"

"Um?" Katsuki looked amused. Izuku found himself unbearably nervous. But he wanted to be brave. Izuku kept talking about how he wanted to be the best hero, right? If he was aiming that high, couldn't he ask one angry boy out? He squared his shoulders.

"What is this? I'm not sure what we're doing, Kacchan. Is it, I mean, are we-," he faltered, breathing hard. This was difficult. Katsuki waited him out, looking vaguely concerned. "Do you want a relationship?" he blurted. Katsuki blinked, stiffening.

"A, a relationship?" He looked taken aback, and Izuku felt his bravery crumble away. He couldn't stop himself from plummeting into damage-control mode.

"Um, I don't mean," he stuttered, waving his hands between them as if he could dispel the awkwardness. "It's not, um, if you don't want to it's fine, I just thought-"

He stopped speaking abruptly, as Katsuki took his hands gently. "Deku, I can't." Izuku's heart broke. All his energy diverted into keeping himself together long enough to get out of the room. Gym time was over. Heartbreak time was in, and Izuku was ready to cry in a scalding shower.

"Okay," He said quickly, trying to pull. "I get it, it's-"

"Deku, stop," Katsuki insisted, pulling him closer. Izuku stood there, trying not to tremble. "It's not that I don't want you, okay? Quit thinking shitty thoughts. I think I've been pretty fucking obvious about how I feel, anyway."

"Then why," Izuku whispered. He would not cry. He wouldn't.

"It's not a 'why' kind of thing! I just can't commit to that yet," Katsuki replied, voice uncharacteristically quiet. "I take this shit seriously, Deks. I've, I've told you how much I hate myself for losing ambition and everything. How it kills me to know that I let it happen. I'm making some goddamn changes in my life, and I'm afraid if I change too much at once I'll fuck up something important."

Izuku couldn't say anything. The rejection hurt too much. Sure, Katsuki's reasoning was good, he knew it was. It made it hurt less, technically, but Izuku was experiencing a high-def recap of every time Katsuki had ever rejected him, and one more time was just. Too. Much. He shouldn't have brought this up, he realized.

"Deku? You okay? Look, I just need some time to sort out my shit. If we do this, I'm doing it fucking right. For now, let's just-"

"It's okay," Izuku managed to say. It didn't matter how much he wanted Katsuki. He had to respect what the other man wanted. "It's fine. I get it."

"Deku, you sound upset," he said bluntly.

"Well, Kacchan," Izuku said, pulling away, hating how bitter he sounded, "You just rejected me. I don't have to sound happy."

"Izuku…"

"Don't," Izuku said, quickly, his throat tight.

"I didn't reject you!" Katsuki growled, clearly getting frustrated. "Stop looking like I've ripped your shitty heart out! Let me finish!"

"You've pushed me away too many times, Kacchan, and it just hurts, okay? I thought we were done with that, and maybe I don't feel like being kept at a distance anymore."

"Not fair," he frowned, rubbing his face.

"Why would a relationship be so hard?" Izuku backed away, knowing he should just shut up. He couldn't, though. Katsuki brought out the most in him - the best parts of him, and also the most difficult parts. "What's the problem? I've supported you your whole fucking life. You know I'd support you being the top hero. I already have been! I wouldn't hold you back!"

And there it was. It felt like Katsuki was pushing him away because Izuku would somehow stop him from being the top hero. Just like when he'd shoved away the little useless, quirkless kid-Deku.

"I know you wouldn't," Katsuki said harshly, clearly trying to keep his temper in check. "Deku, it's not about that. It's about my own shit, okay? And I still want to-"

"I was always there for you," Izuku shot back, pushing. "When you needed a friend, a punching back, a rival, there I was, just doing whatever the fuck you wanted."

"No," Katsuki snapped, temper reaching its breaking point. "You were fucking clingy and overwhelming . I never got any goddamn space! If you had done what I wanted, you'd have left me the hell alone! You never took a fucking hint, Deku!"

Izuku stared at him, completely shocked. It was the first time since they'd reunited that he felt he saw a glimpse of the old Katsuki, the one that didn't want him around. The one from when Deku meant useless. Every shove, every insult, every time he'd reinforced Izuku's insecurities...

"I guess you didn't change, after all," Izuku whispered, feeling cold. "You're the same bully that you always were."

The frown on Katsuki's face dropped, replaced by blank shock. Izuku had never seen such a horrified, vulnerable expression on the man's face. The moment stretched, and Izuku could see Katsuki's temper making its inevitable return. And when it returned, it was vicious. Katsuki spoke quietly, forcefully.

"Fuck, Deku, maybe I am! Maybe I'm fucking selfish, but I don't have to risk my life goals just to do whatever the hell you think will solve things, okay?"

His chest felt empty, like Katsuki's words had just punched his heart clean through his ribcage. Maybe it was because he was older, or just that enough time had passed, but the perspective was dizzying. Katsuki was right. Katsuki, as a child, had told him over and over what he wanted - even if it was just Izuku getting out of his life. Izuku had never listened back then, and he wasn't listening now.

"You're right," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I never respected your boundaries, and now I'm doing it again. You're right. I'm clingy and needy and I can't blame you for not wanting this." His voice sounded hoarse, dead, foreign to his own ears.

"Deku, no ," Katsuki said, reaching forwards, face twisting. "Don't- I don't think- You're not- Fuck! It was always complicated, okay?"

But Izuku was already leaving.

"Wait! Please!"

It took all of Izuku's willpower to stop his feet. Because no matter how badly this conversation had gone, he couldn't just run. He couldn't ruin things with Katsuki completely, even if the effort ripped his heart out. He turned, woodenly. "Kacchan, it's okay."

"It's not," Katsuki growled. "I'm not done-"

"I am," Izuku cut him off, finally tearing up. He was distantly proud he'd lasted this long without crying yet. "I didn't mean for it to go like this, okay? I need time to think and I need to figure out what I want and I just can't do it when I feel like this." It killed him to admit it, but he was determined not to dig this hole any deeper. They'd both gone too far, and Izuku wouldn't risk it getting worse.

"I need to calm down before we talk about this again. But we'll talk again later, okay?"

"But, I mean - shouldn't we figure this out now?" Katsuki looked shell shocked, his voice cracking. "Are you sure?"

"We'll talk later," Izuku promised shakily, and slipped out the door, abandoning his gym bag. He managed to make it all the way out of headquarters before texting Uraraka an SOS and breaking down to cry in an alleyway.

Katsuki had been right. Izuku was clingy, overwhelming, and selfish, and he'd been forcing what he wanted on Katsuki without considering how the other person felt. Katsuki was obviously too busy for him. He'd obviously been avoiding the relationship, and Izuku had just kept chasing him like he always had. Katsuki was striving to win the top seat, and what was Izuku doing? Crying in the street over a boy? No wonder Katsuki didn't want to be with him.