19 Chapter 19

The specialist from Nigeria was frighteningly efficient. No sooner had they arrived at the hospital then Katsuki was hustled away into a backroom for treatment. Izuku was instructed to wait in the waiting room, with beige chairs and the wavering light of the aquarium.

From what he'd gleaned from their conversation, she had a Quirk that focused on reassembling things that had been destroyed in whichever way. It just needed to be used very precisely and carefully, but all of his questions had been shut down because she 'had more important things to take care of than his curiosity.' Which was fair.

So Izuku sat in the waiting room next to the aquarium and watched a pair of yellow tangs swim aimlessly through some rocks. The light flickered every few seconds. Izuku wondered if it bothered the fish. He couldn't shake his bone-deep worry about Katsuki's well-being, but something about sitting in a waiting room felt strangely domestic and comforting. Katsuki's parents knew everything, but similar to Izuku's mother, they didn't come to the hospital every time they were injured in the line of duty. Izuku had always felt it was too much to ask, so he'd ended up doing the same thing that Katsuki and many other heroes did. Called their folks to reassure them they're okay, and deal with the rest on their own.

But Izuku could be there for him.

The aquarium lights flickered again, reminding Izuku of lightning. Striker haunted his thoughts, more than any other villain he'd had a part in taking down. The weather had calmed noticeably since she'd passed away. Since she'd been killed. By Katsuki. Izuku's hands made fists on his knees. Maybe if he'd been better, stronger somehow, he could have neutralized her first. It had only been a few days since he'd been released from the hospital, but he already had countless notebook pages of theories on her Quirk. The best he could guess was whenever she teleported, it disrupted the electrical charge of her atoms. Somehow she'd been able to control how much, or sense what type of charge would result in what.

Izuku should come better prepared. There shouldn't have been any villain he wasn't prepared to fight. His mind began wandering the familiar circles of self-doubt, inevitably spiraling into a montage of the destruction he'd witnessed in the aftermath.

It was so hard not to blame himself for everything, harder even when he knew the city was still rebuilding and he was still stuck at home. He'd called Suika pretty much immediately, and they'd agreed lying low was the best idea. He'd decided to take a break from media exposure until he went back to work. Suika had promised to get back in touch if anything was urgent. He'd sternly instructed Izuku to focus on healing up, and not on the news.

Thankfully, he'd be allowed on desk duty soon. As it was, he was strictly forbidden from any physical hero work until he'd fully recovered. HQ had given him official notice that he was blocked from all emergency channels until he was working again. Izuku had taken this to heart, and outside of reassuring his friends and family that he was alright, he'd just focused on recovering with Katsuki. They'd needed the time to themselves.

Izuku still felt a little too fragile, like if maybe a few things aligned in just the wrong way he might shatter all over again. He couldn't speak for Katsuki, but the man was still a little too quiet. He took a little too long to respond when Izuku called him.

They were both still healing.

And if Izuku was completely honest, maybe it wasn't just about focusing on himself and recovering. There was a large part of him that was becoming afraid to look at the news, afraid to see his image torn apart by people judging him based on Katsuki's worst moments.

He was deep enough in thought that he actually jumped when a slight shadow fell in front of him. He looked up to find a middle-aged woman standing before him, nervously twisting her hands.

"You're Deku, right?" She sounded both hopeful and worried. Izuku sat up a little straighter, wishing the clothes he'd snatched from Katsuki's closet were a little more presentable.

"Yes," Izuku said, standing automatically. "Is there something-"

"Sorry to disturb you," she said politely, then looked flustered as she realized she'd interrupted Izuku's brooding. "Uh, I just wanted to say thank you."

It took Izuku a few seconds too long to realize he must have helped her at some point. "I'm happy I could help," he said, forcing himself to smile. It was jarring to go from being so deep in thought to dealing with the public. Anxiety crept in around the edges. Had she seen Katsuki's outburst? Did she think less of him? Feel sorry for him?

"You saved me," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "The news said you were just resting, but I saw how hard it was for you."

Izuku wasn't able to speak. He wasn't sure what she was talking about. "It was a difficult situation for everyone," Izuku said in a way he hoped sounded reassuring. "We are all recovering and rebuilding."

"Yes, of course," she said fretfully. "I just saw you, saw what it was like. After you pulled me from the rubble, I had to help you walk to the first aid camp."

"I'm sorry…" Izuku trailed off, lost. He remembered none of this, just hazy images of rescue after rescue.

"I was so worried about you," she said, fretfully. "You went right back out after saving me and no one heard from you after that. We told them, though. About what you did."

"What I did?" Izuku asked, just barely keeping his voice steady. The woman looked at him in confusion.

"It took a while ," she continued, folding her hands nervously. "But we all called in. The people you saved. I'm-" abruptly, she teared up. "I'm sorry. You deserved better than what they gave you, but you're so good. Just a truly good person. You inspired so many people. Thank you so much."

"I uh," Izuku said, still pretty thrown. As always, he had to fight the urge to brush off the thanks, and accept it gracefully. "Of course. I'm glad I was there for you."

"For everyone," she said, and gave him a firm, albeit teary nod. "We're all supporting you. I am. Please keep being an example of everything a hero should be. Sorry to take up your time!"

And she left, taking hurried little steps. Izuku watched her go, deeply shaken. She'd said things that would normally touch him deeply, but he didn't know exactly why she was saying them.

He considered checking the news, but the dread loomed again. Instead, he called Suika.

"Hi, Suika? Do you have a moment?"

"Of course! How are you, Midoriya? Recovering well? Still avoiding the media?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Izuku said, gathering his thoughts. "I ran into this woman, and it was strange? Did I do something? Would you mind telling me if there's anything I should know?"

"Well, it's taken a while for everything to get back up and running," Suika said. "But you know, you made a very big impression."

"I saved some people," Izuku said, bitterness welling up. "Nearly got myself killed because of my recklessness."

Suika was quiet for a long moment. "I was really worried about you too, you know. Ground Zero contacted me when you were missing, but I didn't know where you were either."

"I'm sorry," Izuku whispered. Suika's quiet laugh was barely audible over the phone.

"Well, you don't have to apologize to me."

"But I-"

"You saved thousands, Midoriya. You bumped up to #9 with the first post-disaster rankings."

"Sorry, what? " Izuku hated the surge of victory he felt when hearing those words. It felt wrong to be rewarded for something like this.

"Well, as of this morning you're #6."

"What?" Izuku practically shouted. "Why? I was reckless, I went rogue and," he cut himself off, his throat closing.

"Basically saved half the damn city single-handedly, Midoriya," Suika said quietly. "It's been incredible. I've never seen anything like it. There were small articles run on you everywhere , because apparently you were all over the place in the three days following Striker's attack. And people started to notice, and finally bigger networks picked up on the fact that you managed to single-handedly rescue more people than everyone else combined."

"Everyone was really busy," Izuku said numbly.

"Yes," Suika said simply. "You probably were too reckless, but that doesn't change the impact you had in people's lives. You recovered several thousand people alone. You did something to be proud of."

And those simple words broke Izuku. "T-thanks," Izuku choked out, trying to hold in tears. He desperately didn't want to break down in a hospital waiting room. As it was, people were already giving him strange looks after the woman had talked to him.

He hung up quickly, and spent the rest of the time with his face buried in his hands, crying silent, burning tears. He propped his heels up on the edge of the chair, and curled into a ball, just letting time pass as he tried not to be overwhelmed.

This wasn't how he wanted to reach the top ten. It wasn't how he wanted to beat Katsuki.

He didn't feel heroic.

He was half asleep by the time Katsuki found him. Gentle hands landed on his shoulders.

"Deku? You asleep?"

Izuku reluctantly looked up, revealing his mess of a face. Katsuki's smile immediately fell.

"Deku, what's wrong?" Katsuki's eyes searched his face, as if he could find the answer written in Izuku's red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Izuku wished he could, because he couldn't quite articulate what was wrong. He was supposed to be happy about this, but just the thought of it made his stomach turn in nausea.

"I'm number 6," Izuku said thickly. He could see the worry overtaking Katsuki's face. It was strange. He expected to be congratulated, or even for Katsuki to start spouting some jealous bullshit about how he was a higher rank at the moment. Instead, gentle hands rose up to cup his cheeks.

"Then why do you look fucking wrecked?"

"Not here, please," Izuku whispered.

Katsuku was clearly stressed, but stepped the fuck up and shepherded Izuku out of the hospital. Izuku hated it. He felt weak. He'd wanted to be there for Katsuki, but yet again he was the one being taken care of.

Katsuki's flat felt different. Katsuki's arms felt different, when he held Izuku once they'd gotten inside. Izuku felt terminally restless, like he was doing something wrong or should be doing something he wasn't, or he couldn't stand to keep doing whatever it was.

He'd made several circuits around the living room before Katsuki stopped him.

"Time to spill, Deku," Katsuki said, hands heavy on his shoulders. "Quit pacing and talk to me."

"This isn't how I wanted it to happen," Izuku said, looking at the floor. "I barely remember what I did. And it's not that I regret saving people, but I nearly destroyed myself doing it. But no one will talk about that, and it's not that I want them to but it feels wrong. And then I feel ungrateful for not being happier about this, and then I hate that people celebrate the results of my recklessness and part of me feels that it's okay if I die trying to help others because how can I decide my life is worth more than theirs?"

He heard Katsuki take a deep breath, but kept looking at his feet. His eyes were starting to swim again.

"That's a lot," Katsuki said thoughtfully. "Honestly, this shit is complicated. I had a lot of conflicting opinions about my rank for a long time, but for someone like me, it doesn't matter too much."

"Someone like you?"

"Someone volatile," Katsuki said. Izuku could hear the smile in his voice. "Public perception of me swings so wildly and so often that my rank changes constantly. I just moved to #9 today, for whatever reason. I honestly didn't expect to be moving up for a long time, but I guess my rank is still unpredictable."

"Kacchan," Izuku trailed off. He wasn't sure what to say to that. Izuku's rank had been steadily climbing since he'd graduated, albeit without the leaps or setbacks like Katuski had. It was rarely worth commenting on, outside of the typical milestones of top fifty, thirty, etc. Well, that is until now.

"That's not the point. I just mean that the system doesn't exactly reward having healthy fucking boundaries and a sense of self-preservation. That's one of the things I've been talking about, actually. With my counselor."

"I'm not sure heroes are supposed to have a sense of self-preservation."

"You're a person before you're a hero," Katsuki told him. Izuku said nothing. That was the heart of the issue, and Izuku couldn't honestly say that his personhood felt more important than his identity and work as a hero. He'd always felt they were one and the same. Katsuki made a noise of frustration. "Deku, come on. You know you can't damn well save any more people if you're dead. If you want to be strictly logical about it, your life is worth more."

"It doesn't work like that."

"Don't care," Katsuki said. Izuku could hear the irritation picking up in his voice. "Yeah, you fucking scared me when you went out there and damn near ruined yourself. But you're obviously good at what you do. You deserve your rank. You've deserved it for fucking ever, and I'm glad you got it. It's also fucked up that that's what it took for you to be recognized, but that doesn't mean you didn't earn it."

"It feels wrong to be here because of a mistake ," Izuku hissed. "I wasn't the one who took out the villain. I didn't stop her from using her OP as fuck finishing move. Kaminari isn't even awake yet!"

"The doctor is looking at him now-"

"I shouldn't have to nearly kill myself to be acknowledged!"

They were both quiet for a moment. Izuku finally met Katsuki's eyes, and was surprised to see he didn't look upset. He looked… proud?

"Yeah, you shouldn't." Katsuki's voice was low and steady. "I've thought about this a lot, you know. Especially since we got together. You know with All Might is the oldest One for All user, right?"

"Yeah," Izuku murmured. He could tell this was heading towards some kind of lecture.

"Because everyone else died young, Deku. They didn't have long-term relationships, they pushed away their children, none of them lived a long, healthy life."

"And?" Izuku's throat was dry.

"I don't think that's the life you want for yourself."

"Maybe it's the life I have to lead," Izuku said hoarsely. Katsuki shook him slightly.

"Bullshit! You don't have to do anything! And damn it Izuku, but I don't want that life for you! That's not good enough! You know what I want?"

"What," Izuku whispered. Katsuki tilted his chin up, forcing him to meet his eyes.

"I want us to live a goddamn happy life and grow old together. Can't do that if we die young for some dumbass reason. It's fine to be the best heroes we can be, and I can't believe I have to be the one to say this, but there is shit more important than being the best hero."

"Really."

"Yeah, dumbass. Gotta be the best version of yourself first, and you can't do that if you're fucking dead. I'm not gonna quit dating you just so you can have some weird solo hero martyr power trip bullshit, so suck it up and take care of yourself."

Izuku blinked at him, trying to absorb all that. Katsuki had just told him he wanted to grow old with him? Something warm and hopeful was blossoming in Izuku's chest. Katsuki's face softened, the agitation bleeding away.

"It's okay to let yourself be happy, Deks. You don't have to give everything to being a hero. You get to be yourself, too."

"Kacchan, that's uh," Izuku said slowly. "Weirdly mature, coming from you."

Katsuki huffed. "I've been to a lot of counseling. Eventually that shit rubs off on you."

"Well, I'm glad it did," Izuku said, and stepped forwards to hug Katsuki. Katsuki wrapped his arms around him, squeezing him tight. "I think you're right. I'm gonna think about boundaries, because I um," Izuku blushed hard, tucking his face into Katsuki's chest, "I want to grow old with you too. So I'll be more careful. Not just for us, but for myself."

"Good," Katsuki kissed the top of his head. It felt like a promise.

It felt like clarity.

Izuku wondered how much of his life he'd felt torn between trying to be himself, Izuku, and trying to be himself, Deku, One for All holder, the legacy of All Might and new Symbol of Hope. Maybe he had needed to step back a bit, and realize that he still had a choice. And he wanted to choose himself. He wanted to give himself the gift of living a long, full life but…

Katsuki had wandered off to make tea, and Izuku couldn't quite squash the last wriggling shreds of doubt. It still felt like he needed permission. And maybe he shouldn't, but, he did. He sent a quick text to All Might, and put the matter aside to tend to more pressing matters.

Pressing matters like investigating just how recovered Katsuki actually was.

Turns out Katsuki had recovered enough to goad Izuku into doing things that he probably wasn't quite supposed to be doing yet but…. Katsuki had also recovered enough to be very, very persuasive.

There was a time in Izuku's life where he'd held onto Katsuki like his life depended on it. No matter how hard Katsuki had pushed him away, Izuku had refused to leave him alone.

That version of Izuku probably would have died in shock at Izuku's current predicament. Izuku stared at his phone, sitting innocently on his desk. He was back in the office, working on paperwork. He had a lot to catch up on, not to mention all the statements and witness accounts required for what he'd seen of Striker.

It was almost overwhelming, and he didn't have the catharsis of a good workout to process it with. He was on desk duty for at least another week or so, depending on what his doctor said. And even after that, he was still supposed to take it easy. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

He'd been back in the office for over a week already, and while the paperwork was pretty dreadful Katsuki was even worse.

Katsuki was a lot of things. Ambitious. Driven. Reckless, hot as hell, arrogant, protective… the list went on. And nowhere on that list was "capable of dealing with being stuck inside for more than twelve hours." Izuku loved being his boyfriend, really, and he reminded himself of that when he became Katsuki's primary outlet for all that pent up energy.

Izuku thought he had a high sex drive. Nope! Not compared to Katsuki after being stuck home alone all day. Izuku's neck and chest were smothered with concealer, and he could only be thankful he wasn't doing anything strenuous enough to wear it off.

Izuku thought he had a particular tendency to obsess about things, but just the other day he'd come home to a veritable conspiracy theory board of the best curry powders, where they were located, where to purchase them, and something about deep fakes and counterfeits? It was a lot.

Izuku had thought he was maybe a little clingy. But no, not compared to Katsuki, who apparently didn't feel comfortable being needy with anyone else. Which was kind of sweet, but god it was a lot of text messages.

His phone buzzed. Izuku ignored it. He'd checked it ten minutes ago, and had already replied to Katsuki. There were thirty more notifications since then. Three messages a minute, and Izuku was pretty sure that was Katsuki holding back.

Katsuki was officially going insane from being stuck at home, and Izuku was bearing the brunt of it.

Izuku took yet another selfie of himself, captioned it "i miss you and i'm turning my phone off 'till i leave work" and turned his phone on silent. He couldn't quite bring himself to turn it off. What if Katsuki actually needed him?

Only seventy+ notifications by the end of the workday. He took a bus home, and read through them. Katsuki had discovered the spice shop across the city was price gouging. He'd cracked two cold cases with files he was definitely not supposed to have at him. He'd been chewed out by his doctor for repeated requests to speed up his physical therapy schedule, which (thankfully) he was strictly adhering to. He'd also asked Izuku what he wanted for dinner, and then sent about fifteen different suggestions.

It was a lot, and yet it had Izuku feeling warm and buoyant the whole ride home. It didn't matter that he was overwhelmed, that Katsuki was kind of overwhelming. When it came down to it, he was just grateful he could be close enough to Katsuki to experience this kind of thing.

Izuku opened the door quietly, figuring Katsuki might be asleep. He hadn't gotten a text from him in maybe thirty minutes, which was indicative of a nap.

However, when Izuku slipped inside he saw Katsuki sitting on the couch, lit by the glow of the TV. From this angle, he could only see the back of his head and the video of Izuku on the TV. More accurately, the video of hero Deku fighting a villain. Katsuki was watching videos of him? It was surprisingly sweet.

"Yeah babe," he heard Katsuki murmur. "Get 'em."

Izuku was touched. It wasn't that often that Katsuki was bone-achingly adorable, and he wanted to savor it.

"Yeah, that'll show 'em," Katsuki sighed, as Deku KO'd an opponent on screen. Then he moaned, and Izuku knew that sound. The knowledge skittered down his spine, kicking off a chain reaction of arousal that left heat pooling in his stomach. He must have made some kind of noise himself, because Katsuki's head rolled back on the couch, leaning to the side so he could send a half-lidded look at Izuku.

"Hey, Deku," he said. His voice was husky and carried all kinds of promise.

"Kacchan," Izuku said, and dropped his things on the floor in favor of heading straight to the couch. What he saw froze him in place. Katsuki was slouched on the couch, legs spread and sweats pushed down enough to let his hard cock spring free. His shirt was pushed halfway up his stomach, and one hand was lazily stroking himself.

"You're uh," Izuku stammered. Katsuki's answering grin was soaked with lust.

"Jacking off to videos of you? Yep. Thought it'd feel a lot weirder than it does." He gave himself another languid stroke, keeping his eyes on Izuku. "It's actually real good."

Izuku watched the progression of his hand up and down, up and down. His throat went dry. Something about this situation was driving him absolutely mad.

"Do you do this a lot?" Izuku's voice was hoarse with lust.

"First time was after I got the casts off," Katsuki said, then moaned softly. "It's fuckin' good, Deks. You should try it sometime. Unless you already have?" His grin was knowing, and Izuku felt white-hot shame flash through him. He had tried it, shortly after Katsuki's first videos as Ground Zero began circulating, and it had resulted in the most shame-filled orgasm of his life.

"I did once, years ago," he mumbled. "I felt really guilty about it, so I never did it again."

Katsuki blinked up at him, but Izuku didn't miss the way his hand gained speed. When he spoke, his voice was rough with desire. "That's too bad. If I were you, I wouldn't have stopped."

"Oh," Izuku said, hopelessly turned on. He loved a shameless Katsuki. "Um, I don't mind, anyway."

"Well then. Now, you just gonna watch me jerk off or what?"

Izuku's eyes were drawn back to his hard cock, how obscene it looked when Katsuki was still largely clothed. He swallowed hard. He really didn't want to leave. "Did you want me to go?"

"Nope. I like it when you watch," Katsuki said, his voice dropping to a lower register. Before Izuku knew it, he'd dropped to the floor in front of Katsuki's knees, staring up at him. He drank in the sounds his hand made as he jerked himself off, the muscled stomach half-hidden by his shirt, and the lazy amusement in Katsuki's eyes as he looked down at him.

"What if I do more than watch," Izuku whispered, his mouth practically watering. He ran his hands up Katsuki's thighs, offering more.

"Deku," Katsuki groaned. Izuku took it as encouragement.

"Don't you want to get off to videos of Deku while the real thing's sucking your cock?"

Katsuki made a strangled noise, sitting up enough to stare down at Izuku. "Hell , Deku, you're gonna fucking break my brain."

"That's a yes, then?"

"Suck my dick, loser."

Izuku couldn't help his small laugh, but he obediently did. And god, was it electric. No sooner had he taken Katsuki's cock in his mouth than he felt fingers tangling in his hair, pushing his head down.

"God, you're so fucking hot," Katsuki sighed, his eyes fixed on the screen. "Fucking love watching you kick ass." Katsuki punctuated the last word with a long, lazy thrust. It was hard not to gag, but it was worth the tortured groan it tore from Katsuki. Katsuki set a slow pace, gently thrusting in his mouth, occasionally murmuring praise either to Deku on the TV or Izuku.

Izuku felt kind of used, and it was making him extremely turned on. His own hard-on was getting uncomfortable in his pants, but he forced himself to focus only on Katsuki.

"Fuck, Deku, your mouth feels so good, you're so amazing, shit," Katsuki rambled, praise pouring from his tongue even as Izuku's eyes watered. Izuku held onto his thighs for dear life, trying to stop Katsuki's thrusts from hitting his gag reflex too hard. Katsuki didn't let up, but he apparently couldn't last long at that pace, because soon Izuku was frantically trying to swallow down Katsuki's cum.

"So hot," Katsuki drawled, sinking back into the couch. Izuku wiped at his mouth, wincing slightly. His throat would be sore the next day. "Come here," Katsuki told him, and switched off the TV.

"How was it?" Izuku rasped, crawling onto Katsuki's chest. Katsuki wrapped his arms around him and kissed his temple.

"Felt dirty," Katsuki murmured. "I liked it. Let me do you next time."

"Next time?" Izuku nipped at his neck. "Maybe I want you now."

Katsuki hummed, the sound low and thoughtful. "Take me, then."

Izuku froze, his mind turning over what Katsuki was offering. "You want me to…"

"I'm not supposed to do anything too strenuous," Katsuki told him, mouth lifting in a crooked smile. "But I'm sure you'll take such good care of me, won't you? How good are you gonna be for me Deks?"

Izuku made a pathetic choking noise, before pulling himself together. "Really good, Kacchan," he croaked. Katsuki's eyes lit up in approval.

They rarely made love like this. Or rather, they rarely made love at all, Katsuki typically preferring to be teasing or rough or cocky or any number of things. Mixing real emotional vulnerability with sex was rare for him, and Izuku could read his hesitance a mile away. So he'd never pushed it, because Katsuki was already opening up to him far faster than he'd ever anticipated.

Sometimes, he worried that one wrong move would have all of Katsuki's walls going right back up. But then other times? Like now, with Katsuki beneath him on the couch, all relaxed and happy? Izuku felt like he could get away with asking for a little more. So he leaned down, pressing a soft and lingering kiss to Katsuki's lips.

"I really care about you, Kacchan," he murmured. Katsuki hummed, apparently willing to let Izuku take the lead with the mood. Which was fair, considering what Izuku had just done for him.

Izuku ran a hand down his chest, his stomach, admiring the curve of each muscle, the potential for explosive power, the trust Katsuki put in him. It was completely intoxicating. "I think you're amazing," Izuku whispered into his neck, letting his hand dip between Katsuki's legs. He was rewarded with a soft sigh from Katsuki.

"That's nice," Katsuki said. Izuku was once again glad for the way Katsuki had lube stashed all over his apartment, and allowed Katsuki to sit up enough to fish some out of the coffee table drawer. He held it up in front of Izuku with a proud smirk. "Got you something, baby."

"I'll put it to good use," Izuku laughed, and snatched it away. Katsuki obediently let him have it, then dropped his arms up above his head. And damn, that pose did really nice things for his shoulders. "You're being so good," Izuku said, wonderingly. Katsuki's grin showed teeth.

"I'm the best, nerd. Don't forget it."

Izuku detected a little bit of sass in there, but he figured he could allow it. "Yes, you're the best, Kacchan," Izuku told him. Katsuki arched a little, clearly showing off, his eyes half-lidded and fixed on Izuku's face. Izuku suddenly felt like he'd been dropped in front of a banquet he could only have dreamed of. Here was Katsuki, lying here just for his pleasure. A literal dream come true. Right.

"You're a dream come true," Izuku went on, and began to gently prep Katsuki. Katsuki only grumbled a little, but quieted as Izuku pressed soft kisses all over his face. "Thanks for letting me pamper you, Kacchan. I really like this."

"It's fine," Katsuki said, just a little gruff. Izuku caught the slight tinge of pink on his cheeks.

"How's it feel, Kacchan? Is it nice for you?" Izuku was up to two fingers now, and was trying not to drool at the thought of being inside Katsuki. Katsuki nodded wordlessly, and tilted his head to the side, allowing Izuku better access to his neck. Izuku tried to be patient, he really did.

But he's been hard and needy from the moment he'd dropped to his knees to blow Katsuki, and god he wanted him so bad. He felt hot all over, torn between slowly making love to Katsuki and just taking what he wanted as fast as he could get it. It was so hard to hold back, but Katsuki was starting to breathe harder, to shift his weight to get more from Izuku's fingers and damn that was delicious.

When Katsuki let out a breathy little whine, Izuku suddenly couldn't wait any longer. He practically ripped off his pants, and quickly repositioned himself. "Ready, Kacchan? I'm gonna make you feel so nice. Gonna show you how much I want you."

"Hell, Deku," Katsuki groaned, his arms flexing as he gripped the couch behind him. "Show me what you got."

So Izuku did. And since Katsuki was being so nice, Izuku was nice too, pushing i n slowly. It felt overwhelmingly good. Katsuki was tight and hot around him, practically heaven on earth. Izuku couldn't stop the way his breath stuttered, the sudden clench of pleasure in his gut. Katsuki didn't miss it either, grinning at him in that smug way of his.

"Aw, you like it that much?" he teased. There was no edge to it though, not when his face was flushed like that, not when his sharp eyes were soft with affection. Izuku nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He bottomed out, and took long, steadying breaths.

"Sorry," he breathed. "It's just- you're so good. I like you so much. I'm so happy, Kacchan. Seriously, I-"

"Can you fuck and talk at the same time?" Katsuki groaned. "This is torture."

Izuku's gaze dropped down to where Katsuki was getting hard again. Right. Izuku moved slowly, carefully, taking care to note each of Katsuki's reactions. What made him twitch, what made him whine, what made him shiver with pleasure. It was so luxurious to have Katsuki spread out beneath him like this. It made Izuku feel a little high with it, drugged up on intimacy and affection and the heady, lust-filled atmosphere of the room.

He kept moving, but leaned in to keep kissing Katsuki. Katsuki kissed him back, a little breathless, but clearly happy. It was unusual for him, but that just made Izuku treasure it more. He wanted to remember how Katsuki looked now forever. The way the soft blue light of the TV lit up his face, the rosy flush of his skin, the way he allowed Izuku to take the lead.

That was the rarest part of it, really.

Katsuki almost never gave up control. It was something Izuku admired about him, really, because for the most part he channeled it in positive ways. But to let Izuku take the lead, and hardly fight about it? To refrain from his typical snarky, heated comments? There was an emotion welling up and sticking in Izuku's throat that had nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with the trust and intimacy he'd gained with Katsuki.

But the sex was still electric. Izuku's steady, careful pace was starting to build. Not in the blinding, searing way it did sometimes, but with a sustained build that was irresistible all the same. Izuku sung Katsuki's praises, telling him how beautiful he was, how perfect, how Izuku would never change an inch of him.

And soon Katsuki was rock hard in Izuku's hand, attempting to push back against his hips to speed things up. But this was Izuku's show, so he fucked him slowly, lovingly, until each thrust drew a choked groan from Katsuki's lips.

"God, Izuku, you're so damn amazing, so good, please never stop," he was murmuring, his fingers digging into the couch behind him. "God you're fucking perfect, I want you so bad," he broke into a long groan as Izuku pushed in hard, grinding against him. Katsuki finally came undone beneath him, panting and shaking in a way that pushed Izuku straight over the edge. He was seized by pleasure, held captive as he came hard, his head dropping onto Katsuki's sweaty chest. Katsuki held him tight, murmuring soft words of praise against his hair. Izuku felt so relaxed and happy he wouldn't be surprised if he was literally glowing.

"Kacchan, that was…" he mumbled, trailing off. His head moved with Katsuki's chest as he laughed quietly.

"Yeah, that was something. Just let's stay here for a while, yeah? I want to hold you."

"Mkay," Izuku said, too blissed-out to protest about how gross they were. He knew he was drifting off, but he couldn't be bothered to do anything about it, not when he felt so warm and safe and happy and cared for.

They ended up falling asleep on the couch, sweaty and exhausted, but in the best way possible.