6 Chapter 6 Open Your Heart

We try to get back into some sort of normal routine for the rest of the day and Loki insisted on making dinner on his own so I could relax and chill. So I ended up on the sofa talking to Tony on the phone and reassuring him that I am ok. He was alarmed about it all and extremely worried but happy that Loki saved me and was more than grateful. I think he is even starting to like him but I guess we will see when he is back at the end of the week.

Once I had finished the call, we had dinner before we sat down on the sofa and got engrossed into the brilliant workings which is Doctor Who. Both of us finally able to relax after the drama of today and yet even with Killian on the loose, all I can think about is Loki. Everything I love about him and how my feelings just keep growing but I can't be with him even if he does like me back. I'm blind and I doubt it could work even if we tried. It breaks my heart but I know it's true. I'm blind and nothing can change that. But something else is on my mind.

He hasn't opened up to me yet and really I don't know much about him. Yes I know his hobbies and bits of his childhood and everything else. But he hasn't told me about how he got here in the first place. I hope one day he does open up but what if he doesn't trust me enough to tell me about it, could we even be together? Even if I wasn't blind? Maybe if I tell him about my accident, he might open up to me? And yet even if anything happens between us, he needs a friend to talk to.

"Are you alright?" Loki asks me, "You seem tense."

I force a smile, "Yeah I was just thinking."

"About what?"

I look at him, "My accident."

He nods his head, "I see… if you don't mind me asking, what happened exactly? How did you lose your sight? Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"It's ok, I want you to know what happened," Then I begin to explain, hoping this brings us closer, "At the time, I was working with a handful of scientists on a possible serum that would make super soldiers like Steve. But we were not using Gamma radiations and being careful, considering what happened to Bruce and we were making headway. And then I was betrayed."

Loki speaks up, "Betrayed?"

I nod, "One of the scientists decided to fiddle with the serum, using a mix of very harmful and deadly radiation. The serum reacted badly and it began spurting chemical everywhere. Off course they panicked and ran, sealing the lab and trying to contain the radiation. But in the commotion, I was knocked to the ground and pinned by a table and multiple bits of lab equipment and debris. I couldn't move. I was stuck." I take a breath, "I was too close to the serum. It exploded and it got me in the eyes as well as burned certain parts of my body. I was rushed to hospital and the burns they treated easy enough but I was blind. There was nothing they could do to repair the damage to my eyes."

"That's horrible." He whispers, "I'm so sorry that happened to you."

I force a smile, "It's ok. I survived and the scientists were locked up so I got a bit of justice… It was just one moment that I felt completely powerless."

With that, I stop talking and I can tell that Loki is thinking about everything I said. Digesting it all and I wait patiently, looking at him the best I can but with these lines it's hard to tell what he is thinking. In the end he sits up and looks at me, a bit tense I think. I wonder what he is thinking.

"You are trying to get me to open up?" He asks me and I know I am busted.

I nod, smiling sheepishly, "You have been here for me, saving me and making me feel better about myself. I want to repay the favour and you mean a lot to me. So talk to me, I won't judge, no matter what it is." He doesn't respond, "Sorry, I didn't mean to overstep. You don't have to... sorry."

Then Loki speaks, finally opening up to me, "I guess it all started when I learned I was adopted. I kind of lost it. I found out I am a Jotun, a frost giant, a monster and it terrified me. Not only that but I had also been lied to my whole life. Betrayed. So in my madness, I killed my biological father and tried to destroy the realm that I came from as well as trying to kill my brother and my friends. Luckily, my brother stopped me but in doing so destroyed the Bifrost and we were hanging off the bridge. My father barely holding onto my brother and I was holding onto the staff that my brother was holding. But my father was struggling to hold us both so to save them, I let go and fell into space."

I look at him and I move closer as he says, "Are you sure you want me to go on?"

"Talk to me Loki." I say, taking his hand.

He then goes on, "I should have died but ended up in this domain called Sanctuary, in the dark spaces and it was ruled by a titan. A titan named Thanos. He chained me up and tortured me, physically and mentally. He was trying to control my mind, to make me his pawn and I tried to resist him. But I was powerless against him and eventually I was too weak and he took control of my mind. I became his puppet. He then sent me here to Mid… Earth so he could take over and collect the stones he was after."

I find myself moving closer to him, holding his hands tighter, "Oh Loki…"

"It was horrible. I watched myself kill so many people, hurt so many others and there was nothing I could do. Luckily, the hulk smashed him out of my head but the damage was done. He turned me into the monster that I feared I already was." He states, "My brother forgave me for my actions as did my mother but my father didn't want to believe I was controlled. So he banished me. I guess I was lucky he didn't execute me or imprison me for life." He lets go of my hands, "But I am still a monster."

I shake my head, "You are not a monster Loki. You are a good man. Everything you knew crumbled around you and it's no surprise you acted out. But what Thanos made you do, wasn't your fault and you know it. He might have made you kill all those people but that blood is on his hands, not yours and it doesn't make you a monster. Whether you are Asgardian or a Jotun."

He looks at me, sounding shocked, "You really don't care I'm a monster? A frost giant?"

"You're NOT a monster." I state, "Why do you think you are monster? Is the Jotun form so bad? I know Asgardian's look just like us. What do you look like? When you take that form?"

He signs in frustrations, "I don't change much body wise as I was small for a Jotun which is why I was cast out. But my skin turns dark blue and these light blue markings appear on my body. And my eyes glow bright red, blood red. It's horrible and if I touch anyone in that form, I burn them." He looks at me, "How are you not terrified of me?"

I move closer to him, taking his hands again, "Why would I be terrified? Everything you have told me doesn't change how I see you. You are a good man and no monster, no matter what form you are in. You must know by now that I don't judge by appearances." He chuckles at that, "So this changes nothing. It just shows me how strong you are and a good man."

He seems shocked, holding my hands tighter, "You are… amazing woman. You accept me no matter what I have done."

I smile, "That's because you mean a lot to me and nothing could change that."

"Oh Katrina, how I wished I met you sooner." He whispers, making me smile, "Come here, let me read to you."

With that, I move closer and sit up against him like I normally do. Except this time he puts his arm around me and pulls me closer to him so I am resting my head on his chest. He has never let me be this close to him except when he hugs me but that is short and quick. I am practically in his arms and he isn't pushing me away. And he wants to read to me and let me stay this close to him. It warms my heart and I hope this means he likes me too. But the fact he is being so open, it's amazing and I love it.

"Which book this time?" He asks me, his hand going through my hair, "I was thinking Romeo and Juliet?"

I smile, "Sounds wonderful."

He keeps his left arm around me while using his right hand to hold out the book and slowly he begins reading to me, using magic to turn the pages. His voice is so soothing and I relax, loving being this close to him.

As he reads and I listen, I end up absentmindedly running one of my hands over his chest. I can feel the different material on his top and its quite complicated. There is leather and a soft fabric not to mention the metal plates but I can also feel Loki's muscles underneath and on his arms. God I wished I could see what he looks like.

Its late when he finishes the book and we just lay there, relaxing and I could easily fall asleep in his arms. But I am too distracted by him, so close to him and how I wish I could be with him. To be his girl and love him, kiss him. However I am blind and I can't even see where his lips are or where to even kiss him on the cheek. I do wish we had met earlier, before my accident, then we could have had a chance but I fear we never will. I don't even know if he likes me. But I think he does and I know for sure that I like him.

"You should rest." He whispers, still holding onto me, "You need to sleep."

I smile, "I know but you are so comfortable. I don't want to leave your arms."

This makes him chuckle, "I don't want you to either but you should rest… did you want me to carry you to bed?"

I shake my head, "I can walk. Just got to will myself to leave your arms." I say as I force myself to sit up properly and he does the same, "Thank you for opening up to me Loki. It means a lot."

He lifts up my hand and I feel him kiss it, "And it means a lot to me that you opened up to me and accepted me, for who I am. It takes an incredible woman to do that."

This makes me smile and then I remember how much earlier that I wanted to kiss him on the cheek, to show him some sort of affection. So I focus on the outline the best I can and I use my hand to guide me as I lean closer and kiss him on the cheek. He is flabbergasted I think and doesn't say anything but nor does he protest. I'm just pleased I can show some hint of affection.

I stand up, knowing my cheeks are probably red, "Night Loki."

He does the same before leaning closer and kissing me on the cheek, surprising me, "Night Katrina, sleep well."

With that I turn away and go to my room, knowing my cheeks are probably bright red from the fact I kissed him on the cheek. And then he did the same back. Does he like me? God I hope that he likes me too. It's hard to tell considering I am blind but the way he acts and looks after me, cares for me and then he kissed me on the cheek. He might do and he let me rest in his arms all evening. But still even if he did, would he want to be with me? A blind girl? A mortal? Probably not but I can dream. Oh well at least we had tonight.