55 Chapter 55 Break His Heart

The throne room is just the way I remember and that includes who is on the throne. Much to my surprise, Odin is still on the throne with Frigga sat on hers beside him. Standing close to her is Thor and finally the man I have longed to see for so long. Loki.

He is standing close to his brother and in deep conversation, clearly eager to go somewhere else. As we get closer, I can't help but admire how hot he looks. He is still wearing his usual attire but his hair is longer and his eyes still the bright emerald green I remember. But he looks like he hasn't slept properly in years and looks in pain. So much pain and he isn't as carefree as I remember. He must be devastated over my death, so much he didn't take the throne like he was supposed to. I hate that Kai has done this to him, to us and yet it's about to get worse.

They all finally notice us as we approach and their eyes widen in shock and utter disbelief. Even Odin looks shocked and he doesn't wear his emotions on his face. But it's Loki's reaction that I am looking at. He has turned away from Thor, staring at me in shock and awe. But it's replaced quickly with concern and worry. I am surprised he isn't running over to me considering I am dead to the world or at least I was.

"Your majesty." Kai greets, "What's with the faces?"

I shrug, holding onto Kai's arm, "It's like they have seen a ghost or something."

Oh, the irony in my words, and it makes me smile a little. I look at Loki, noticing he has moved closer but I focus on Odin.

"Is something wrong your majesty?" I ask Odin, going with the ruse.

Odin clears his throat, "Princess Katrina, we are very relieved to see you. My son has been searching for you and we have all been worried sick."

They didn't believe I was dead. They knew I was alive and someone had faked my death. No wonder why they are not grieving and people weren't surprised I was alive. They knew and Loki has been looking for me. Oh Loki, if only you had found us, then this wouldn't be happening.

I look at them surprised, "Princess? What are you going on about? I'm no princess."

Their faces fall at my words and I pretend to look at them confused. They look at me worried before I look at Loki who has given in and is coming over to me. Practically running down the stairs and over to me but stops just in front of us. He is looking at me, for any hint that I recognise him but I show none. Keeping my face blank and just pretend to be confused. God this is going to hurt more than I thought. So close to my husband, so close to the man I love, and yet so far.

"Katrina please tell me you know who I am." Loki practically pleads, making my heart ache.

Oh god his voice, his voice so velvety and smooth just like I remember. How I have missed his voice, how I have missed him. I love him so much and now I must break his heart.

I shake my head, "No am I supposed to?"

His smile turns to a frown, the pain so readable on his face that it actually hurts. He has looked for me for 7 years and now I return and appear not to remember him. I wish I didn't have to hurt him like this but I have no choice.

"You don't remember me." He whispers, so heartbroken.

He moves back slightly, shocked by the revelation but I focus on Odin who looks very worried now as do they all.

Odin looks at me, "Princess Katrina you have no idea who you are?"

I shake my head, "I have no idea who I am. Who am I? You said I was a princess?"

"You are a princess of Asgard, Marlowe, and Earth. And are part Asgardian and Goddess." He tells me, "You used to live on Earth before coming to Asgard to live with my son Prince Loki." He says, all of them looking at Loki.

I look at Loki, "We were together?"

He looks at me and nods, "We weren't just together, we are married. You are my wife."

Pretending to be shocked, I look at him surprised and stunned. I look at Kai who is also wearing the same expression and he puts his arm around me. They notice the close interaction and I can see Loki's heart pang from the gesture. I feel like I am twisting a knife deep into his heart.

"Oh…" I whisper, "I guess that explains the rings on my finger."

Loki then asks, looking at us, "What happened to you? What do you remember?"

All of them are looking at me waiting for answers and now I need to lie the best I can. I just got to hope Loki doesn't see through the lies. But saying that, don't I want him to? No, I don't. If he finds out and confronts us both, Hope is good as dead. I can't risk my daughter's safety so I remember the story I thought up and prepare myself to lie.

I begin the tale, "Well I woke up in a forest, my back bleeding badly and in a lot of pain. I had no memories, just my name and I had no idea how I got there. I thought I would die from my injuries but I was lucky, Kai found me." I look at Kai, smiling, "He brought me to his home, patched me up, looked after me. He tried to help me remember but no spells or potions could return my memory so I stayed with him in his mansion. And after a few years, we began…" I look at Loki, "We began courting."

Loki looks devastated, the pain in his eyes is horrible and yet as he takes it in, it's like he doesn't quite believe it. But he doesn't say anything, just looks at us both and I look away. I focus on Odin who as well as Loki, doesn't believe my story either. None of them do but I show no hint it's untrue and they can't prove it either.

Kai speaks up, holding me processively, "I have tried everything to return my girl's memories but had no luck. I really had no idea she was a princess or that she was already married. But you must understand that I love her. I just want what is best for her."

Loki looks at me, "Oh I think I do."

"I love him too." I say, kissing Kai on the cheek, "And I am sorry but I can't be with you, Prince Loki. I am with Kai now. I love him."

Loki still doesn't look convinced but doesn't comment, just looks at us both suspiciously. I can even feel him trying to enter my mind, to talk to me telepathically but I block it. I have strengthened my mind barrier so he can't read my mind and nor can he talk to me. Not if I don't want to and yet the fact he can't has made him suspicious. I wish I could but if Loki shows any hint he knows, Hope dies. I can't risk it.

Frigga speaks up, "Katrina I may have something that could return your memories and I am positive it would work. You could get your memories back."

I shake my head, surprising them, "I appreciate the offer but I have no desire to get my memories back."

"Why not?" Loki asks, very suspicious, "Don't you want to remember?"

I shrug, "I did. For the first few years, it's all I wanted. I wanted to know who I was. Where I came from and if I had a family. But nothing worked and I couldn't keep holding onto the past. It was killing me, tormenting me so I focused on my future. My future with Kai." I look at him, "I am sorry Prince Loki. I am sure you were a great husband and that I loved you very much. But I'm with Kai now and that isn't going to change. I don't want my memories back."

Now they all suspicious. Looking at me worried and genuinely concerned but none of them voice their opinions. I guess it's strange not wanting to crave my memories back, even though I am lying about losing them and now they are worried. They know there is more to the story and something is wrong. Maybe this will work to my advantage, maybe.

Odin speaks, breaking the silence, "I see. Well if you change your mind, we are more than willing to help." He then goes on, "Your guest chambers have already been prepared and I trust Kai you will be staying a while. We have much to discuss."

Kai nods, "Yes your majesty, we will be here at least a week so we can finish negotiations between Asgardian and the Vanir people. But after, me and Katrina will be returning to Vanheim."

"Of course." Odin states, "Well there is a feast and ball to welcome you both back to Asgard and I beseech you to dine with us at the head table."

"We will be honoured." Kai bows.

I curtsy, "It would be our pleasure."

He nods at us and yet they all still look worried. But then I look at Loki who I notice has taken something out of his pocket, something metal and it looks familiar. It… it looks like… it looks like one of Tony's metal disks. He used to record messages on them and leave them for me. But this one looks more enhanced and I wonder why he has it.

Loki speaks up, looking at me, "Katrina I know you don't remember but there is something you should know. You have a brother called Tony, you were his adoptive sister on Earth and a few years ago, he passed away. He's dead, I'm sorry."