Chapter 1: The Unexpected

I always knew I was different .I mean aside from being dazzling and impeccably sweet , I was the fastest , most efficient and smartest lady on this earth .

Mandy!! Get your ass in here in a hundred seconds before I break em' to pieces. ! 1-0-0. .times up. now get in here ! .

Yes boss! I shout at the top of my lungs ,giving it a little melodious tune ,a touch of treble .I knew I'd do better in the Opera. Faces turn to Look at me , giving me the 'oh you're gonna get it this time look '. I take a deep breath, stand on my feet and prepare to take the long dejected walk to my bosses office as His words start ringing in my ear .

"1-0-0?? Wait , is that how to count?, break my ass to pieces ? Ok now that's too ambiguous if you know what I mean" .

As I take my stride to the office I see Kaitlyn, one of the office workers and also my arch enemy . She's visibly laughing at me now with her hand obviously failing to cover her huge mouth that looks like the grand canyon, her witch like cackles deafening my ear .

"Ok so maybe her mouth doesn't look like the grand canyon, it actually cute i must admit and her Laugh's so adorable! But I hate that girl and everything she does is hideous.. It's a girl thing I don't expect you to understand".

I'm not losing this unseen battle just yet . I look at Kaitlyn, give her a dead paned stare , which I know shortened her lifespan by six years. She replies with a blank look inflaming my ego the more .Seeing I've won, I cock my head to the side with one eye brow raised and swirl my hair.

"Meerhn I'm sure it was a sight , all I needed were a pair of fans blowing in my direction and you've got a sexy sassy top model".

I turned to leave the 'battle field' when the craziest thing happened.

"So you're thinking all the guys in the work area are staring at me with their mouth open in complete awe no? Or one rushed towards me in slow-mo , went on his knees and popped the big question right?."

The thing is I tripped ! I tripped over the damned computer cable and fell flat on my face . talk about a glorious exit . Thers a huge thump sound as my forehead goes face first to the floor. I hear someone mutter 'Christ what the heck was that' as people start to rise from their seats to see what's causing all the commotion . Now Kaitlyn can't hold it in anymore, she let's out a roar of laughter which I'm quite sure she probably rehearsed. It seems all the workers like the sound of her laugh as they join in and make such a beautiful chorus.

"Wow just melodious I say to myself. I think its about time the Armageddon started, cus I really can't walk on this earth anymore after what happened. Why of course I can, this is just a tip of the iceberg in my basket of mishaps ."

I dust myself up and fluff up my hair. Thank God my back's behind all the workers including Kaitlyn as I can feel their stares stab my back like daggers. I touch my forehead with my eyes closed expecting the worse . Yhup ! It was bulging alright , this definitely needed an ice pack.

"I couldn't believe all this happened to me in the space of exactly two minutes. My stars are so 'lucky' ."

I mouth a yippee sarcastically and storm into the bosses office .He looks at me with a disgusted stare as the cigarette traces left to right at the corners of his mouth ."What the hell happened to you Mandy?" He asks with a look depicting that I look hideous. Now don't think that the fact that you look like doomsday means I'm gonna take it easy on you. Now sit down! He shouts in a way my grandfather would say.

"I look like doomsday? What in the.., how bad do I look .This old sickening non courteous abomination of a human has no right to call me that! I'm a woman for Christ sake. Cut me some slack!..

Mandy, Mr. Whyte starts.

"Funny right? His name is Whyte and its only in name and not in deed. That man is blacker than the coal used in powering jet turbines, or is it trains?"

Hey lady! Whyte cuts in , raising his eyebrow in an interrogative manner. I nod my head the affirmative, motioning that I'm listening. He let's out a huff and continues. "What's wrong with you Mandy? I gave you this job because of your father, God rest his soul but you're making me regret that Amanda Johnson . You are by far the slowest , most inefficient and dumbest woman on this earth. You mess everything up. Why?!"

We are interrupted by the secretary who brings him his coffee.

"Ok so this was quite the contradiction of everything I called myself earlier. I was here thinking I was a Queen when it seems I couldn't make the cut to even the servant position.

Mandy its very sad to tell you that you're relieved of your duties which takes effect now .Whyte says, unable to look in my eyes.

My throat tightens and my eyes bulge along with my forehead upon hearing the news .

Oh my God! You're firing me? Please give me another chance , this job is all I have sir. I plead literally going on my knees.

No Mandy , says Whyte . You have thirty six fricken queries. Thirty six fricken queries!. For Pete's sake you were living on a whim.

"Ok so he had a point . I mean I lost count after twenty-five but I really thought he wasn't checking. What the hell Mandy, he's the boss of course he'll check."

I see thers no helping this situation given the fact that he's made up his mind. I stand with the little dignity I have left and prep myself to leave.

I raise my knees too high and it raises his table, spewing all that hot hard brewed coffee on his pants. He hisses in pain and bellows for me to get out of his office.

"Serves him right for firing me . He's almost sixty years with no child . It's not as if he's dingalang was working anyway . I did him a favour ."

With that I pack my box and start to leave. My coworkers giving me sympathetic looks. Even my enemy Kaitlyn .They all saw it coming anyway .

I walk towards the door, stop abruptly in my tracks and turn back to them. Give a professional bow and say " so this is me Amanda Johnson A.K.A Doomsday signing out ".

"I mean if I was leaving I had to do it in style you know ..".