[Bonus chapter]Mommy Don’t Cry

" Get out." I said in a low tone, finally meeting his gaze as his mouth fell ajar. " GET OUT!" I yelled harshly than I ever have the last two years of my life. My voiced echoed through the room as the message seeming to get to that thick skull of his as he took a step back and another, eventually completely backing away, gazing my direction once more, and leaving. A few more seconds passed as I sighed, finally letting the hot tears came down my face as I collapsed onto my knees. Feeling nothing more but emptiness.

Time had gone by and I still felt like shit. The tears uncontrollably leaving my face, as I wiped them off just to let more down. Cradling myself as I rocked back and forth. The words he spoke where on my mind like repeat. I didn't know why Colton's words hurt so much? I meant I knew I wasn't a good person. Far from it, I had done my share of bad deeds, born into the life I was I had no other choice. My life was decided for me before I was ever born. However, that didn't mean I didn't have feelings or emotions. That I liked killing people. That I liked seeing others suffer. The poverty and unfairness life give to some while other embrace in all types of luxuries.

Just because I wasn't a good person, didn't mean I didn't have a heart. That I was invincible, a single shot to the chest and I would be dead. But he spoke as if he knew me, or that I was utter scum of the earth. Even when I dealt- killed people- the most despicable I wouldn't even waste my words because I didn't know if it would through to them or more often than not didn't like to judge them. I know you're questioning what the hell you mean? You killed people? You were they're judge.

I know. I know. But at the end of the day I had no right to do so only the Lord, I just did so because it was expected of me. I had no actual pleasure in taking a life, even though they did deserve it. What else could you expect me to do?

But the bigger question is why did Colton's words affect me so much? He was a complete stranger, knowing nothing of whom I am, what I am, what I have done. So what gave him the right to judge me, he wasn't Mr. Perfect. He was far from it. The way he thought I would take advantage, that I could even do such a thing when I myself have never experienced that form of intimacy. The fact I hadn't been kissed before he forced me just added fire to the fueling angry. I had given him my first kiss, something I had waited for someone special and he just took it. Then after being compared to his missing wife all night, then he drunken came trying to seduce me as he passed out, and I took CARE OF HIM!

My heart felt cracks seeping in, my breath came out raggy as I placed a hand on my chest to prevent a panic attack or beginning to hyperventilate. Tearing my head up from my hands as the sunlight had poke through the window illuminating everything into a golden dawn hue. The first pretty and warm thing I seen all this time, as the flash of those baby blues came back to my mind. Well, actually that was a lie. Such a lie, the one person that had been so caring,tending, loving, and the reason I was in this mess was because of Milo. The precious baby boy who had become my surrogate son, lit up like a Christmas Tree wherever I was even near. He would wake up soon, and I had to be his mother. Not just because of that goddamn contract, but because I wanted to. I guess I would just have to swallow my tears, my pain, and pretend to be happy. To have on my mask for Milo. Milo didn't deserve to get the bad side of me just because of what Colton did. Each person is responsible for their actions, I would never take that out of Milo.

Standing up, I prepared myself for the day, taking another shower, wearing my new clothes, and walking out to see my baby. I turned the door, as Milo was shuffling around almost awake as I carefully entered as I sat on his bed, my hand slowly caressing his messy locks. Immediately, stopping as his peered one eye open, a little trick of his I think he's getting use to as he jumped up and wrapping his little arms around my neck, " Good morn-ing mommy!" He said in a chirp voice, that was perfect for him, but too bright for me as I nevertheless embraced him back.

" Morning, my little one. Did you sleep well?" I asked as he nodded his head repeatedly.

" Yep, I was waiting for you to come." Milo blurted as he sat back down. " What are we doing today?"

An abrupt knocking took us from the moment as I saw a familiar green eyes flaunt a loose smirk, " Am I interrupting something?" He said bemusedly as I shook my head.

" Nothing much. Milo you should say good morning to Cass." I advised my son as I wanted him to grow up with the best of manners unlike his father.

" Good Morning Uncle Cass." He repeated exactly as I instructed him as he gave me a smile back.

" Heyyo, kiddo." Cass began neared the bed as he fiddled with the sheets, " You know you're kinda cute and nice unlike you're dad there who ..." He trailed off as my eyes twitched. The thought of Colton' right now gave me PTSD! However, Cassian caught my little disarray a glimmer in his eyes full of questions. Immediately, I knew we need to talk.

" Um, Milo can you go brush you're teeth?" I politely asked as he said of course and dashed off into the bedroom as I turned to Cass who perked his brow, " What?"

" What do you mean what? What did you say to the boss guy, he quickly left?" Cassian bluntly stated not wasting time to jump to want happened a few hours earlier.

I shrugged my shoulders, " I just told him to get out." I told the truth and nothing but the truth as his mouth fell open.

" SERIOUSLY?" Cassian yelled as I shushed him as he climbed onto the bed, so we could talk more discreetly.

" Yeah, that's it."

" Liar!"

" I swear, I mean besides the fight we had."

" A fight?" He repeated as I nodded as he stood up, took off his tux coat, rolled his sleeves up, and unbutton of few of his buttons, " That bastard picked a fight with my lady. I'll KILL HIM!" He proclaimed as I thought men couldn't get more ridiculous as I pulled him onto the bed.

" Stop, that!" I instructed slapping his chest as he rolled his eyes because my lack of strength. I swear this guy is saving up his punching points. But I didn't want to linger on Colton anymore instead of the kid he left me, " It doesn't matter. Now help me get Milo ready." I commanded as he gave a sour looked as I crossed my arms. What now?

" Um, excuse me boss lady. But I don't do kids." He let me known as I huffed.

" Well you will now!" I proudly stated dragging him into the bathroom as we got Milo cleaned, and ready to go.

Arriving to the dinning table as my eyes widened a bit, there were the bodyguard lined up as always but not a sign of a Colton. Wow, that bastard really left. HA! BETTER FOR MOI! I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM!! Taking a breathe of relief as I sat Milo and myself down as I digged into the delicious gourmet food.

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I stood in the corner glaring out the window while Milo played with Robertson and Cassian. I wanted to play with him but I didn't want my bad vibes to be transferred onto him so I put some distance between us. I really don't know if this was how the whole mommy this worked out. But it must be really hard.

Suddenly I felt a tug on my leg as I looked down to see the rounded baby blues eyes that stared at me with so much hope as Milo had his arms extended, meaning for me to pick him up. And with a face like that how could I saw no.

" Mommy, are you alright?"

" Yeah, I'm just tired baby."

"You should get some sleep then." Milo suggested as that what I have been trying to fucking do this whole time but at least chao ensures whenever I try. Especially like last night where um- yeah I'm not doing that again. Not here not now as I felt my eyes become watery.

Blinking rapidly to make this disappear as I nodded, " I'll try." I said sheepishly as I felt a hand being placed on my cheeks as I met Milos eyes again. " What is it baby?"

" I love you, mama." He declared as I felt my throat tightened, the words so pure of affection opposed to his father. The words that gave me some hope within myself. As tears rolled down my face without control. Geez, now I was crying because of the son. " Mama, don't cry." He pleaded as he wiped my tears.

" I'm sorry, baby." I apologized, as I didn't want him to see me in this condition but I couldn't help myself. Damn this kid, definitely knew what I needed before I needed it.