Fish Guts and Other Lies

"I heard the storms were so strong that all but one supply ships sank into the bottom of the Southern Ocean," Junior said and closed the newspaper. "I really do not know why this is not talked about more."

"That is also something I have considered," Ted lied. He intended to improvise a story that would convince the father and trap the son into his web of lies. Granted, the lie was not yet that thought out, but he could make it up as he added more details into it.

"While I do not in any way subscribe to any theories about a possible magical origin of these storms, I intend to engage in charitable acts towards meteorologists," Ted said with a solemn expression. "Did you know that more than eighty percent of all meteorologists live on less than the wage of an average factory worker? It is one of the hardest professions to get into, yet it is the worst of the so called highly educated professions when it comes to the pay."

"That's terrible!" Junior exclaimed and threw the newspaper dramatically into the wall.

Mr. Margane shuddered visibly. "I did not know that. Eighty percent…do the people in charge even know who they are employing? Meteorologists are vital to airship transport in our modern age. I hate to think that our brightest minds are not compensated for their efforts."

"You'd think that the colony on the Fin would motivate at least someone to take good care of the weathermen, huh?" Ted shook his head, faking outrage. "And why not weatherwomen as well. I have heard that the situation down there on the Fin is bad enough that it's literally finders keepers and all that. Whoever manages to bring supplies down south will be the governor of the Fin."

That little morsel of information was true. All the best lies had some truthfulness to them.

The barren island was on the verge of actually being a whole continent, but it was not highly sought after. During the cold, long winter, the land was completely covered in ice and the poor inhabitants relied on the supplies they were able to grow during the summer. Of course, no exotic fruits grew that far in the southern parts. Scurvy and other related states and illnesses caused by malnutrition were common. People lived on what they had in their storage, and on what they could hunt – a mythical species called a wool elephant roamed the Fin, and while they were notoriously hard to kill, one specimen was enough to sustain a large family through the entire winter.

In fact, Ted did believe that the storms that had rendered the southern waters unsailable for so long were of magical origin. He just did not think there was anyone particular behind such a thing. Sometimes, witchy things just happened, and the wise planned accordingly.

Wisdom could not be found in this coffee room, but Ted did not seek wise men. The gullible young male nurse was exactly the kind of a man to fall for any scheme that was presented as sympathetic enough.

"I am planning to arrange healthcare for a group of homeless meteorologists, and I could use a nurse," Ted said, stirring his coffee clockwise. "I would pay Junior handsomely, of course."

"Take this opportunity or regret it your entire life!" Mr. Margane hissed at his son. "You've been fooling around for too long. This is your chance to take part in changing the social conventions or whatever it is that you claim to hate. You will regret it -"

"Relax, pa, I am definitely in," the idiot said. "I want to help. I want to have meaning in my life. Besides, Mr. Tobias has an outstanding record of being a keen-eyed defender of justice. I would support him even if I was paid in peanuts."

Mr. Margane sighed so loudly that the coffee in his cup vibrated accordingly to the waves of his uneven breathing.

Ted did not know how to feel sorry for such stupid people. Suddenly, he felt like being treated as their equal was not flattering after all.

"All right, so, the thing is only in a raw, undefined state at the moment, but if Junior Margane wants to, he is free to bunk at my manor until I find a place to house the homeless poor folk. If there is anything I can do to ease the difficulties caused by my resignation, please, let me know."

Ted had done more than one spell in his life to increase his ability to lie. At this point he was so convincing that he could just open his mouth and spin any tale at all. People gobbled up everything he said. Of course, academics and other true intellectuals could not be fooled, but Ted had no reason and no desire to fool people who were actually competent in something and not just cogs in a machine.

At least, he did not have to do such things right now. Junior packed his things and came along, mindlessly babbling about homelessness and what was apparently the new fad, fish-reading.

Ted felt mildly insulted by the fact that his work as an occultist was discredited and opening a fish was recommendable as a fashion statement, but he was the one who would get the last laugh.

"And the fish innards have kept on saying one thing! Bad weather!" Junior exclaimed.

Ted shook his head. The sun was shining so brightly, reflecting from his new leather shoes so clearly that he could have used the tops of his footwear as a mirror while shaving. There was always bad weather every now and then.

Only rarely, though, did someone make up something like the Association of Homeless Meteorologists and find people stupid enough to believe in it. Ted was way better at lying than fish guts would ever be.

He had one single soul, one willing participant in the greatest sacrifice of all times. The solar god would have to make do with Junior and his ilk.