1 My Story

"As humans beings, we experience pain almost all the time. Everywhere, anytime, at any place. Pain doesn't care who you are, where your from, who you know or what you did. Pain is apart of life. But there are just some types of pain that humans shouldn't have to deal with. Things like grief, bullying, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, betrayal and mental disorders. Well, that's my life story summed up right there in a few words. All of that pain combined together, it's hell. And even after I became successful, I still go through stuff , bearable stuff. On my way to success, I lost alot of people, friends, family and even pets. I have a friend now, best friend actually. But I still want , I would've prefer the people who struggled with me to be here now. So I could atleast reward them. But even they left. Everyone close to me keeps leaving me. And I don't know why. That's why I just want somebody here, with me now, who will stay and never leave. And if they have to leave, they come back for me. I've had boyfriends before. If you can call them that. But they just got worse overtime. So I just layed of the relationship stuff for awhile. I've tried dating, but after them hearing about my PTSD and other problems, they leave. I don't blame them. Cause seriously , who would want me? Being with someone like me is almost torture. Especially the fact that I haven't completely healed from my trauma. Like one minute I'm fine and then the next minute I'm not good enough for you or I don't want you to touch me. It's just complete toture. And I'm really sorry I can't go into more detail about my life, that's all I can say for now".

I ended my little story in almost tears. I don't really like talking about my personal life and challenges to people. Especially people in the media. But I really needed to get that out. I really need to heal from my trauma. Otherwise, I can kiss love good bye. I hope I find him soon. I pray he'll accept this broken girl. I know it won't be easy but I pray it's what I need to finally heal from my trauma.