1 Chapter 1: The Tragic Past is a Cliche

My life was simple, boring, and in my own opinion, regrettable.

When I was a child, my parents died in a car accident, leaving me in the care of my aunt, although my aunt did not mistreat me, she did not care about my existence, so she only made sure that I was not hungry and never spoke to me.

My cousins ​​received all the affection possible while I had to put a sweater on a pillow to imagine that someone was hugging me, it was a bit pathetic of me, but I was a child in need of affection, they cannot judge me.

Over the years I became an introvert, I had a hard time getting close to people and I had no friends.

When I was 17, my drab, very drab life improved with the arrival of my first girlfriend. She was one of the most beautiful girls in school and somehow she noticed the nerd in the classroom who spent all his day watching anime, reading comics, and playing games on her cell phone.

It was similar to those stories where the pretty girl falls in love with the otaku in the classroom so I felt happy, however, it didn't take long to discover that instead of being in a romantic comedy my life was an NTR doujin where I was the pathetic type.

It turns out that my older cousin, who was the most popular guy in school, was in a relationship with who I thought was my girlfriend.

To enhance the doujin argument, it turns out that my parents left me a huge inheritance that I would receive when I turned 18 so my cousins ​​and my aunt hated me and wanted to take my money.

My cousin had the idea to take advantage of my need for affection so my supposed girlfriend had to stay with me until I was 18, then they would take my money and send me to hell.

How did I know all this?

My cousin beat me and tied me to a chair while he showed me how he had sex with my supposed girlfriend.

Apparently, my supposed girlfriend, or rather ex-girlfriend, had become pregnant with my cousin so the plan went to hell because my ex-girlfriend and I had not had sex due to my own shyness.

The new plan was to accuse me of being a rapist and that I impregnated my ex-girlfriend after abusing her, so they would have access to my money while I was sent to reformatory and later to prison.

When they both finished fucking, they dumped me and left, I hugged my legs and cried for two days in a row.

After that things went from bad to worse.

My cousin and ex-girlfriend realized that if a DNA test was done when the child was born then they would be exposed, even if my cousin and I were families there were still differences in the DNA so it could be proven that he was not my son.

Even so, the rumors grew and people hated me, at school they pointed and beat me daily and even expelled me since my presence would only damage the reputation of the school.

My aunt expelled me from the house, with the money that I was able to raise by selling all my things I got a small apartment where I dedicated myself to lying in a fetal position and crying every night.

When I turned 18 I used some of the money to equip my apartment with a great computer to play video games and watch anime all day.

One day while shopping for food, I heard someone mention that my ex-girlfriend had given birth to a healthy boy and now she was in a relationship with my cousin.

I also heard that those two were looking for legal advice to lock me up in prison taking advantage of the fact that I was already an adult, at that moment something broke inside me.

I don't know what happened or how it happened, I only know that I bought a gun from a gang member.

I went to my aunt's house where my ex-girlfriend now lived, I knocked on the door and when my cousin, who always looked at me with contempt, opened the door, I put a bullet between her pretty eyes.

I went into the house, shot my aunt three times in the chest, shot my cousin in the stomach, and shot my ex-girlfriend's legs.

When I saw that my cousin was still alive, I took his newborn son and used him like a baseball bat to hit my cousin's head until they both died.

Then I looked for detergent and paint thinner, undressed my ex-girlfriend and with a funnel, I emptied both bottles into her vagina until she died of poisoning.

When I regained my sanity, I realized what I did and began to cry for the monster that I had become.

After crying for almost two hours I heard the police sirens approaching, I took the gun and went out to shoot the vehicles for the police to shoot at me.

They did it and I died.

Now that I have looked at my last moments, I must admit that I got carried away.

Using a baby like a baseball bat?

I think something was wrong with my head after all.

Anyway, that's the summary of my life that would surely ensure me a ticket to hell, I was a horrible person so it feels strange to see a guy with a beard and white wings sitting at a desk in front of me.

"Um, are you God?" - I asked the man who embodied the stereotype of God.

"God? You humans always obsessed with using titles instead of names, for your information I have a name "- The man frowned.

"Ahem, sorry, so what should I call you sir?" - I bowed my head.

Wait, I don't have a head, I don't even have a body, I'm a yellow ball of light without limbs or features.

Is this what a soul looks like? How can I see if I don't have eyes? I can eat?

I don't get it so I just shrugged, even though I don't have shoulders.

"My name is Jaime" - Jaime said.

Jaime is a strange name for God, but who am I to judge, I don't even remember my name in fact I don't remember many things, I just remember all the anime, games, and similar things that I was watching.

Maybe it's a side effect of dying with multiple headshots, who knows.

"Well Mr. Jaime, what will happen to me? Will I be judged or something? " - I asked nervously.

Although I know I deserve to go to hell, the idea of ​​being tortured for eternity still scares me.

Jaime took out a piece of paper and began to read it like a normal office worker. - "Here he says that you helped the world by eliminating a future corrupt president who would cause thousands of deaths due to his own greed"

"What?" - I opened my nonexistent eyes with surprise.

"The baby you used as a blunt weapon was destined to grow up to become the most corrupt president due to the teachings of his parents, he would be a selfish and abusive man who would cause suffering to people, by the way, that was a good swing move, you should have been a baseball player "- Jaime nodded and raised his thumb.

It is strange to be congratulated for using a baby as a weapon but maybe my lower mind does not understand higher beings like Jaime.

"So what will happen to me?" - I feel complex about all this.

"According to the laws of the Fan Fic now you will receive a system and you will reincarnate in another world" - Jaime took out several papers.

"Laws of what?" - I feel like I heard something I shouldn't.

"Because most reincarnates seem to have a special taste for sexual activities, you will be given a system based on sexual actions, a Hentai System for short" - Jaime ignored me and continued searching through his files.

"Wait, that sounds stupid, I don't want a sexual system!" - Due to the trauma caused by my ex-girlfriend I am afraid of human contact, worse still, I am afraid of beautiful women.

I just want to have a lot of money to lock myself in an apartment all my life watching anime.

"I don't make the rules, I just follow them, you will have a sexual system, refunds are not accepted" - Jaime finally found the file he needed.

"Let's see, reborn as a Eevee fucking Pokemon is already exhausted, Succubus futanari with large breasts is also not available, the tentacle monster ... That has just ended, reborn as a fantasy brothel prostitute nekomimi girl is also exhausted, how annoying already the systems are almost out of stock… "- Jaime seemed annoyed the more he saw the list.

The more I listened to the different systems on the list, the more I wanted to commit suicide again.

Who the hell made that damn list ?! The gods are fucking sick!

"Here's one! Ugly Bastard System, you are very lucky, boy "- Jaime looked at me with praise as if my luck was wonderful.

"I don't want to be an Ugly Bastard! I hate everything about NTR! I don't even like Netori! " - I screamed in despair as non-existent tears came out of my non-existent eyes.

"Either that or become a vampire loli hungry for stinking cocks in a medieval fantasy world" - Jaime pulled out another file.

"Ugly Bastard does not sound so bad" - For everything worse, there is always a worse and I don't want to experience that worse.

"Good boy, now goodbye, if you are not satisfied with your new life just commit suicide, possibly now if you will end up in hell as much as you want" - Jaime sealed a file and a black portal appeared to suck me.

I think Jaime thinks I'm a masochist, I'm not a masochist!

And so I was on my way to my new life, looking at it positively, this cannot be as bad as my past life, I just have to raise money and lock myself in an apartment for the rest of my life.

This is my adventure to become a NEET!

Yey!