12 Chapter 11

She took a sharp inhale and tightened her hand around her notebook. "I feel bad, so I'm going to apologize to you first. I feel bad because I don't have anything, and then you give me things that I can't pay you back for. I feel bad because my view on life is different from yours, because of my dad and my house and everything. I feel bad because I feel like you're spending too much time with me that you don't have time for your friends. I feel bad because you want to protect me. I feel bad because I'm wearing a mask and not letting you in all the way. But I don't want you to see that side of me. I want you to see the happy side. I'm trying to let you in but I don't want you to see the darkness because I don't want my darkness to drown your light. I want us. You. This. I'm going to need you more than you need me in the end. I feel bad because I don't know love like you do. I'm learning, but I feel like I'm too late, or I'm not learning quickly enough. I want to let you in. I really do, but what would your reaction be if you saw who I really am? I feel like you would leave me, and call me a monster and move on if you saw. That's why I've been holding back. I'm scared. I really am. I don't want to say goodbye. I do want to say thank you though. For doing all of this for me. It makes me feel special, loved, fixed even. But every time I go back to that house, it's a different story. It's as if this is a dream and then I wake. I want to believe this is real, that it's not a dream, but it's so much of a change for me. It's like a light switch. Here it's on and there it's off, it's so different. I love you. I really do. I treasure every moment we have together. But I'm wondering when those moments will fade or disappear. I'm scared you'll find someone-"

My timer cut her off. It's been five minutes.

"Hunter, I wasn't done yet!"

"You said five minutes."

"But-"

"Now it's my turn." I pulled into the gravel parking lot for the corn maze and parked the truck, turned it off and faced Emily. "Emily. This is real. All of it. All of me is yours, and it's right in front of you." I took her hand and kissed it. "I'm real. I'm here. And I'm not leaving, not for anyone or anything. I'm staying and not going anywhere. You don't need to hide yourself from me. I won't leave you if I see you break down. I won't leave you if I see your scars. I won't leave you. I'm giving you my time, money, and energy to make you feel what I feel. I want to do this. I really do. I'm spending enough time with my friends, so stop worrying. I want to spoil you with nice things. You aren't a burden. You are a human who feels things as much as I do. You're not a tool without a heart." I took her hands in mine. "I want you as well. So much. I'm going to love you with all I am and all I have because you deserve that much. I want you to let me in. I've been waiting for so long. Please let me in. Please let me see that side no one else does. Let me see you for who you are and not the picture you paint. Take off your mask and be free. Do you know how worried I am when you leave my side to go to your house? Do you know how much I think about you? Do you know how much I need you? Nothing can describe how I feel. Not words, numbers, nothing." I rested my forehead against hers. "Emily. I need you. So much. You are my life support. I've never met anyone like you. You don't have to feel guilty, bad, sorry, or a burden. You don't even need to thank me. Just let me in. Please. Let me into your world, and I want to do whatever I can do to help you. I want you to feel comfortable around me, I want you to feel something different that no one else makes you feel. Just let this day be the two of us, just us, in our world. Together. Let me be the prince who saves you. Let me in. Let me love you the way I want to. Let me care for you. Let me do this."

I went in to kiss her, but my timer went off. I reached back and turned it off as I kissed her. I moved my hands to cradle her face. I didn't want to do a deep kiss, just a sentimental one. A kiss that said, 'I'm here, and I'm not leaving.' My hands felt water drop onto them. She's crying. In front of me. I pulled back but she pulled in against me again.

Does she not want me to see?

The tears came even faster then she pulled away. She buried her head in my chest, but the divider was blocking us from a tight hug. She continued to sob as I held her, stroking her head and brushing her hair with my finger tips. Her hair was so soft, so smooth, so gentle. After she calmed down she continued to hug me.

"When we go back home, I want to sing you a song." She said, muffled.

"Of course. Are you ready for the corn maze yet?"

She nodded her head and pulled away, grabbing Storm's leash.

We finally bonded. We always have, but this bond was something different in itself. And I was proud of her, myself, and this. She got out of the car with Storm and I did the same and locked the truck. I took her gloved hand and put it in my jacket pocket to hold. Then we headed to the maze.

"Ready to get lost?" She asked.

"Are you?"

We laughed knowing we were going to get completely lost, but we'll be together. That's all that matters.