32 Chapter 29.5: Extra Chapter - Tears of the Moon -

*thud*

The door behind me closed with a low and solid thud. The click of the knob overlaps with what I always hear throughout these years. It is the same door I've heard closing ever since I came to this house. It's no wonder, I've been here for years. I've gotten used to it, that just by hearing it closing, I feel like the day has ended. I will just lay down on my bed to sleep, then wake up for a new day.

It's the same every day.

C: "Or so it should be…"

But right now, knowing the day has ended makes it more painful than it ever had.

C: "Uu… *sniffle*"

Earlier, I, one way or another, have confessed to Hans. Even without saying the right words, I know he realized it already. I was happy at that point. That maybe… Just maybe… That maybe he will say that he can return my feelings for him.

I love him. I've fallen in love with him. I didn't know exactly when I started having these feelings for him. When I realized, I'm already looking at him. When we're cooking, my eyes end up turning their way to where he is. When I'm not doing anything, he's all that I'm thinking of. When I see some female costumers getting close to him, I feel jealous. When he talks to me, I feel so happy, I can't stop grinning. When he calls me cute, all the more I feel elated.

Everything he does gets into me.

I thought it will continue like that forever. But my feelings grew for him for the past days, not knowing that he already noticed it at some point.

C: "*sob*"

I was so happy when he invited me to a date. But I never once thought that it would be my chance. I just thought it's one way for him to make me stop getting concerned about his arm. He's the kind of person after all. He's so kind to fault.

But… I didn't think it would turn out this way.

C: "Hans… *sniffle*"

After telling me his story, it came to me that he's not doing it because it's me. I realized. It's not because it's me at all… He's just kind. He's just kind to everyone. He's nice to anyone he knows.

Thinking back, he also saved Tia, to the point where he even got injured while doing so. He's gentle with Anya and always helps her at the store. Even though Sofiel often makes mistakes, he helps him without complaining.

He's surrounded by people. And he is nice to everyone. Thinking that I'm someone special among those people…

I was naïve…

C: "*sniffle* Uu… *sob*"

I can't stop my tears.

Even though I told him that I will be okay. Sure, I will be okay. Yes, I will be.

… No, that's not it… I want to be okay. Even if I really want him to be concerned about me, I can't really take it when I see him making that face. The face where his brows contort into a frown; that complicated expression.

He looks so cute with it, though. Aahh…

I know he kept thinking about it. His face told me so. And that face alone lets me know, that he doesn't feel the same way about me. Well, at least not to how much I feel for him.

C: "*hic* … *sob* … *sniffle*"

He became someone special to me for these past months. At first, I never though he will be. But now I'm crying because I was rejected by him.

Haha… I guess, I'm the idiot one, after all.

A: "Ceres…?"

C: "*sniffle* Anyaaa… *sob*"

Anya woke up. I was just leaning on the door when I couldn't fake my emotions anymore. Tears have fallen and I can't make any smile, even if I tried to. My chest hurts, and my throat feels dry. I never thought it would affect me this much.

A: "Ceres, what's wrong…~?"

Anya looked at me with great concern. It eased what I'm feeling right now, but it's still there. I can't seem to shake it off my head.

C: "Anyaaaa… Uu… *sob*"

I couldn't say anything other than her name. That's because, I don't want to think. I just want to cry. If I think, I'll just remember his face. I'll just fall in love more and more.

A: "There… There… Now, don't cry…~"

C: "Waaa… *sob* Anyaaa…"

She hugged me. Her fragrance entered my nose and now I feel like I'm really home. I don't have to hide anything from my home. And because of that, the bottled up sadness in my heart, bursts out all at once.

I kept crying and crying for I don't know how long. I just want to let it out. I know it wasn't something that have started. It's just recently that I noticed my feelings for him.

But…

It's my first love.

I never thought it would be this painful. And just thinking about what I should do from here on, or what kind of face should I make after this, leaves me in a turmoil.

C: "*sniffle* …"

At some point, I've stopped crying. Anya kept stroking my hair as we lay down on my bed.

A: "… Should I go and boil that Hans alive now…~?"

C: "Wha-?? H-How did you know…?"

A: "Really… For how long do you think I have been your sister~?"

She's right. She already knows almost everything about me. So does that mean, she also noticed my feelings for Hans?

C: "S-Since when…?"

A: "Right away, after you returned from the cemetery~"

C: "Uu…"

From the start I'm becoming more conscious of Hans… So I really was already in love with him that time…

A: "Judging from your reaction, it didn't go well~?"

C: "Mm… I was rejected."

A: "…"

I looked up at Anya after not hearing a response from her for a while. And now, I kind of feel her anger filling up the room. It's the same atmosphere when we were a child. When I hurt myself because I wasn't listening to her.

C: "I-It's not like he actually flat out said it and rejected me! N-Now that I think about it, he never said anything at all… I just assumed he did so because of the face he was making…"

A: "Was he making a repulsed face~? What is it that he doesn't like about my cute little sister, I wonder? Ufufu~ I really need to see that man right now. Where is he~?"

Anya tried to stand up from the bed, so I held her down as much as I can. Haha… Hans, you're in big trouble tomorrow.

C: "N-No! He didn't! And he's not home right now… He said he wanted to go somewhere…"

A: "And now he left you alone…~?? Ufufu… My hands are itching now…"

Anya crackled her fingers. But somehow I felt relieved. No… I feel happy when Anya acts this way because of me… I'm really spoiled by her.

C: "… *smile* Anya. Thank you."

I snuggled close to her as I said so.

A: "Ceres… Is it really okay…~?"

C: "Well… I didn't really get an actual answer and I didn't actually say it outright to him that I love him."

A: "A… A… A… C-Ceres… said… She… loves… A…"

C: "Anya??"

Anya froze stiffed.

C: "Geez… I still love Anya equally."

Saying so, I kissed her on the cheeks. As expected, there's no way for me to actually kiss her on the lips. She's my sister.

A: "… *sigh* I will be lonely…~"

C: "Geez, Anya…"

I really feel refreshed when Anya listens to me. She will hug me tighter whenever I feel sad. She will stroke my head to calm me down. And she will even do something about the matter that causes me my distress… She's really a wonderful sister to me.

A: "What are you going to do from now on?"

C: "…. Hehe… Of course. I'll make him fall head over heels for me. *giggle*"

I love him, that won't change. Or more like, I love him even more now. Because I felt he is really considering my feelings for him, making that face.

Aaahh… Even though I said that, I feel like I'm the one who's head over heels for him now.

A: "You really love him, don't you~?"

C: "Mm. I so love him."

Not that I mind though. *giggle*

…

..

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