23 Chapter 21: Ceres Astel and The Travel Towards the Past [Part 1]
"Wake the goddamn up, you useless piece of trash!!"
"Eeeek!!"
This is…?
"Mina… When will this end…?"
The cell…
"I don't know…"
Why am I back here…?
"Mama…"
Papa… Save me…
"Papa…"
Mama… Help me… Please…
"… I think I'll be going first… *sniffle* Bye bye…"
Mina… Don't take her…
"Now stay still… This is smoldering hot. If you want to end it quick then shut the hell up."
D-Don't… I don't want painful things…
"P-Please… S-Stop…"
"Here we go… Ghehehe…"
"STOOP!!"
…
["It's okay…"]
Y-You are…
["… Because, I'm here with you."]
D-Don't leave…
["… That's why…"]
Don't leave me alone… I'm scared…!
["… It'll be okay."]
"Don't go!!"
["I'll definitely keep you safe. I promise."]
"… Huh…?"
…
"Gasp! … *pant* … Eh…? *pant*"
I found myself sitting on the bed with the blanket covering my feet. I'm sweating all over my body, even my sleeveless shirt is now drenched from my sweat pouring along my back. But even though I'm sweating and all, my hands are cold, along with my feet. Even the blanket isn't helping with warming my body.
Anya is still sleeping soundly beside my bed together with Tia. The night is still young and the light from the twin moons rains down through the windows. It seems otherworldly, all the more after the dream I just had. Making the dream seems just… a lie.
"… That… Dream again…"
But it is not.
Ever since I've been saved from my dreadful past, the trauma that was instilled in me isn't going away. Every night, I still dream of it like it was just yesterday. I can still feel the physical pain, the emotional strain. The voice, the sounds, the heat, the cold. Everything is still vivid.
"*sigh* … Is it because today's Mom and Dad's death anniversary…?"
I think so. Whenever this season comes, the dreams get frequent, they almost appear every night. On the other hand, I think it started appearing again after the kidnapping incident…
But… At the end of my dream before I wake up…
"… Why did I hear that guy's voice all of a sudden…??"
Geez… Now it's like I'm feeling elated by what he said… Hmph. I'm not at all, of course!
"… *sigh* I'm drenched…"
I removed my shirt to replace it with a new one.
"…"
I found myself looking at my own reflection through the mirror. My hair is stuck to my face. Sweat dripping down from my chin to my bare chest. My lips are pale as white even after wiping the tears off my cheeks.
And...
Because of the dream, my back started aching once again. The prickling and resurfacing sensation that I thought I have already forgotten, again, runs along my back.
I don't want to look at it.
*sigh*
I'll just get another shirt to wear and sleep back in. I still have time before the sun starts to rise. The necessary preparation for tomorrow is already done so I'll just have to take a bath and depart. I just hope there won't be any unnecessary problems and annoying occurrence that may happen later.
"Good night."
I bid Anya and Tia good night once more even knowing they can't hear me, and also to myself. I closed my eyes and let the slumber sink in as I lay down in my bed.
…
..
.
"Do you have all you need~?"
"Yeah."
"What about water~? Did you bring extra towels~? Don't forget the bug repellant~"
"Yep. Have them right."
"Don't forget to drink the water, okay~?"
"Alright, alright, big sis. Don't you worry, I have all of those."
"Very good~ Ufufu~"
It's 5 in the morning and I'm now preparing to leave. Summer is nearly ending but the sun have already started rising early in the morning so it's already a little bit bright outside. Anya woke up at the same time to help me fix my things.
*sigh* Still, when it comes to things like this, Anya just can't stop worrying about needless things. Every time I had to go out by myself, she would not let me go unless I have her rest assured. If not, I would have to stay forever just with the convincing. Sheesh… She's such a worrywart…
But… I really like it. It makes me feel precious to her.
"I'm sorry~ My junior at the Guild got sick and I had to replace her shift…~"
"It's okay. I understand."
"But…~ What if you hate me because of this…~"
"I would not."
"Ehehe~ I love Ceres too~"
"Mm."
"Hm~~~?"
"Uu… I… I love you too…"
"Ehehe~"
Aaah! Geez! No matter how many times I've already said it, it's still embarrassing! I know it's familial love and all, but… Embarrassing things are embarrassing…
"Ceres~"
Playfully calling my name, she then came in for a hug.
I personally like being hugged like this by Anya and won't let the chance pass to enjoy it. The warmth that I feel every time she embraces me makes me forget all the bad things.
"You're close as usual, eh?"
"It's got nothing to do with you."
"And harsh as usual, eh…"
Just when I feel like I'm trying to forget the bad things… This guy had to show up.
"Hmph."
It's already been almost a month since this guy came and barged in in our home. At first I really loathe the idea of having him over but Anya insisted. I just can't win against Anya for some reason. But…
"…"
"Hm? Something on my face?"
He saved me once.
I vaguely remember that incident since I was asleep most of the time. And my trauma resurfaced so perhaps my memory is trying its best to erase it. But… He really saved me once. Meeting my parents' killer once again. The fear of being held inside a dark room… Everything resurfaced like they were just something recent. My body couldn't help but be reminded of all those and…
"*sigh*"
"Hey, hey… Don't just sigh after looking at someone else's face…"
He even saw my embarrassing side… I definitely lost it there, I know it's my fault. But…
"What's wrong, Ceres~? Trembling like that…~"
Even with Anya still hugging me, I can't remove this feeling of embarrassment towards that guy. It's like he just peered through my mind and I can't really forget about it! If I just didn't get to face that killer…
…
Right…
No matter how I turn it upside down, it's because of him that I'm free from that killer, that I'm still able to feel Anya's embrace right now. It's because of him I'm saved. He tried to save… No, he saved a complete stranger who he just met the same day, where I, on the other hand, just kept pushing him away. I'm being unreasonable… I know… He did it knowing that there will be nothing in it for him. I also know that. I'm made to know, rather.
When I saw him saved the magician…
…
Aaah! Geez!
"Anya. Can I punch that guy…?"
"Ehh~? What should I do… Hans~?"
"For now, please refuse, Anya."
No matter what… What's done is done. I already thanked him too. Of course. Just as expected of me.
[She did not. Refer to Chapter 10.]
…
..
.
"We'll be departing! Anyone who still haven't gotten in, please get in now!"
I got on the carriage that will lead me to the base of the mountain where my first destination will be. The travel will be close to 7 days not including the gathering time. I still have 9 days until Mom and Dad's death anniversary so I have the time to gather the rest of the flowers that they really love. I really love them too since they always got them for me as a present whenever they got home from an expedition. They're really pretty when they're made into a bouquet.
They are flowers from different places and Dad used to give them to Mom when they're having their wedding anniversary, saying it was also how Dad proposed to Mom for marriage when they were young. Ever since then, Dad made sure to get them before the designated date.
I really thought, how nice that is… I also want to be proposed like that too if I were to have a chance.
That, I really want to.
But guys are just… Trash. They can't be trusted the least. They can't even keep their promise and then be gone like nothing happened.
Right… Men are just… I hate them.
"What's wrong, having a complicated face?"
Yes… I really hate them.
"Do you have motion sickness? Want to drink a medicine?"
… *sigh*
"Why are you here…?"
"Why you say… I just want to."
"I'm asking why you left Anya and Tia all by themselves at the restaurant and following me."
"That's not it. Anya told me that she will be closing the store when I said I wanted to follow you. I also asked Sofiel to be with them, just in case."
"That's not the point…"
*sigh* Whenever I'm with this guys… It really gets me off of my rhythm. Suddenly appearing out nowhere. Then acts like nothing's wrong or even making it like it's something natural. I really don't get this guy…
"Well, that goes for me as well if you say it like that."
"Wha-?? Stop reading my mind!"
"I did not."
Did I say that out loud??
"Urk…"
What a blunder… That was a bit embarrassing… Yeah. Just a bit.
"Say, you two."
Hm? One of the passengers seems to be calling out to us. A lady who's carrying a baby. Waa… The baby looks so cute…
"Yes?"
"Oh. Pardon us for being loud. Ceres, don't bother the other passengers."
This guy… Can I punch him real quick…?
"Ah, no, it's not like that. Fufu. It's just seeing you two reminds me of my younger days. Are you going for a vacation?"
"You're quite young yourself, if you ask me. And, yes."
"Oh my. Fufu. You're good with words, aren't you? Thank you."
Hmm… So he likes older girls. Thinking about it, he and Anya have been getting along well recently, too. Wait… What…? Why am I seriously pondering about this…? I don't even care what this guy's preference at all, even the least. And how old is this guy, anyway?
"Fufu. But you shouldn't say that. It'll cause misunderstandings, you know? Of course, even if when you are with her or not, praising other woman when you're with your wife is not good."
"*cough!* Wha… Wha??"
"I see. You are completely right. I'll be careful from now on."
"H-Hey?? Why are you agreeing like it's nothing??"
Deny it, will you??
"Hm? Ceres, Are you okay now?"
"Huh?? What are you talking about??"
"Oh, is something wrong, Mr. Husband?"
Husband?! I'm no one's wife!!
"It's nothing much. But I think she's getting dizzy from the ride."
I'm not!
"My my. That won't do. You should be more careful, more so if that's morning sickness."
"Morning sick-?! *cough!* *cough!*"
"There now, Ceres… Stop moving too much."
Even if you rub my back like that, you're not helping, slime…! And is she misunderstanding it making her think that I'm pregnant?? I'm not even getting dizzy at all… It's just this guy's own delusions, for goodness sake!
"And I see. You may be right."
"Slime!?"
"Here, I have a medicine for morning sickness here. I carry it with me still, you see. Fufu."
"Ah. That will really help. Thank you very much."
"I-I-I-It's fine! It's not m-m-morning sickness!!"
"You sure? You don't have to feel reserved, you know?"
"I-I-It's okay…! Please, don't mind me…"
"Hmm… If you say so. But please tell me if it gets worse, okay?"
She's the type that does not listen…!
"… Pfft."
Did this guy… just laugh…? Does that mean, he was just fooling around all this time…??
"Hm."
I gestured with my hands signaling him to lend me his ear. So with the most horrifying way as possible…
"*whisper* I'll get you later for this. *whisper*"
"Ahem… What are you saying, Ceres? That was just a playful joke to get along with you more. Aha… Ahahaha…"
"My my. You're really getting along well. Fufu."
*sigh* Whatever… I give up.
"… So? what are you doing now, slime? Do you plan to jump off a cliff after this ride?"
"I won't.
"Tch."
"Let's forget you clicking your tongue for now. But just as I originally planned, I'll just follow you wherever you go, for now."
"…"
"You don't have the slightest intention of hiding your disgust, huh. That's the expression of looking at trash."
Of course. It IS disgusting. To be with this guy for 9 whole days. Just the thought makes me want to hurl…
"Hm? Are you okay? On a second thought, want to drink the medicine for morning sickness?"
"…"
Whatever. I'll just pretend he's a malignant wind flowing in the air.
"Where's your first destination, by the way?"
"…"
"I hope there will be interesting things on the way."
"…"
"Hm… Horses can be quite fast, huh?"
"…"
"If it's like this, we'll be on our destination in no time."
"…"
"What about our food, by the way?"
"…"
"Oh, will we be going to another town? Want to try their delicacies?"
"…"
"I'm kind of excited since it's my first time out of town."
"…"
"Don't you think so too, Ceres?"
"WE'RE NOT ON A PICNIC, SLIME!!"
Aaaahh!! Why do I have to be with this guy?!?!?
…
..
.
"So this is our first destination?"
"Don't follow me, slime."
The carriage stopped at the base of the mountain and dropped those who will be going here. But it seems like it's just us that will be dropped here as usual. I bowed my head to the lady that was accompanying us throughout the ride as thanks and she did the same with a smile. I wanted to smile as well but… I can't help but feel tense when I do it intentionally, usually ending up with an awkward smile. So I just forget the thought of doing so.
I then started to walk towards the direction where the grass and bushes aren't growing, leading us to where one of the flowers that I planned to pick up are found. The mountain has a forest covering it, trees that range from big ones like those in the Traveler's Forest to small ones that can be climbed even by children. The leaves that protrudes even from the trunk, covering it whole seems like a pillar that is designed by a great architect.
Though that doesn't mean that this place is safe for them to play in. The plants can be dangerously poisonous and can have inflict different ailments if touched. However, the place is beautiful in my opinion. This kind of places relax me the most. Monsters do roam around from time to time and must be dealt with, but I've been doing this every year so I'm already used to it. I'm pretty sure it'll be the same this year.
"Say, Ceres. What are we going to do here?
Except this time, I'm with a monster. A slime.
"Is this the cemetery already?"
Eh?
"Slime. Why do you know we're going to the cemetery?"
"… Ah."
"What's that 'ah' right now? … Well, I can already guess how, though… *sigh* That Anya…"
"There, there. Don't blame her. It's me who asked what you were doing recently. I was curious since you were coming home late."
"Hmph. It does not concern you, just how many times should I tell you?"
"It does concern me. I don't care how bad you think of me, but I consider Ceres as an important person."
"H-Hmph…"
What's with that, what's with that, what's with that…?? Geez… How can someone say that with a serious face…? *sigh*
"…"
… Recently, I found something weird that is happening to me. Ever since the time I saw this slime save the magician from the brink of death and made me rethink about my perception of him, every time he says something out of his character… it disrupts my composure all of a sudden. Even with all the insult, ignoring, and pushing away that I do to him, he still comes back like nothing happened.
"What's wrong?"
"N-Nothing. Let's go."
It's the same when he calls me cute all of a sudden. I know he's just fooling around and he doesn't mean anything with it, but I can't help but react to it. Is it because I hate him?
"Ceres look. I'm a Faunalian."
Saying that, he puts two mushrooms on his head wearing a serious expression.
"Yeah. That must be it."
"What must be it?"
"Something that doesn't concern you."
…
It took almost half an hour to reach the peak where the flowers are growing. The peak is an open area with only grass growing and with only one big tree growing at the center. The sun shines brightly at the horizon bathing us with its warm light. No matter how many times I come here, I still find this place amazing.
"Hey, slime."
"Yeah?"
"I'm looking for a flower called Reflectan. Help me pick them."
"Reflectan?"
"Ah… Right. You're from another world, aren't you? I sometimes forget."
"That just means you're getting used to me being here. I'm happy to hear that."
"Mm. Just look for a flower with 4 four white triangular petals with a yellow center. It's fairly the size of a small plant with its stem measuring at least 10 centimeters. Their distinguishing trait is its ability to reflect light. It's very pretty when the sun shines on it. I personally like it."
I then proceed to look one for myself readying the container that will hold the flowers fresh until the day I will be using them. I just need a few of them but looking for a particularly pretty one can be quite a task.
"… Ceres. Do you like flowers?"
"Do you have a problem with it?"
"Nah. I didn't mean it that way. It's just that…"
"…?"
"You're smile is beautiful when you talk about flowers. Just like when you're cooking."
"…!! Y-You…!"
I can feel my lips contort so I hurriedly covered it using my hand.
Suddenly saying something like that again… I bet he just says that to any woman he meets! Though knowing that, I still can't help but react to it. Am I an idiot or what? Am I becoming one??
"S-Saying things like that… I bet you make a lot of women fall for your tricks, don't you??"
"Huh? I can only count with my one hand the times I've met a woman in my whole life, or rather, before I came here. Though that's kinda sad if I think about it…"
"H-Hmm… I see."
So he's not that used to women… Hmm…
"Ah. I found one. Look, Ceres. Is this it?"
"Hm? Yeah… But where did you find this? It's way more beautiful than the usual ones that I've got…"
The sparkle is much more visible and the petals are much more larger than an average Reflectan. If you compare them side by side, the difference is something that can't pass even an amateur eye.
"I think these flowers uses mana for their growth too. So I used Mana Detect to find the ones with a much stronger concentration of mana."
"I see. That's convenient."
"Yeah. So how many should I pick up?"
"Let's see… 10 more pieces will do."
"Roger that."
"R-Roger? I've been hearing that quite a lot from you. Hmm… What does that mean?"
Every time someone asks him of something or orders him, I always hear him saying that as a reply. Is it a word from his former world?
"Right. It means that the message or command is received. Back in my world, being a soldier comes with different kinds of difficulties when it comes to communication. So the military came up with a word to convey when the message is received or not. The 'R', a letter from our world, from the 'Roger' means 'Received.' Meaning that the receiving end have acknowledged the command."
"Hm. There are some words that I don't know."
"Those are words from my world."
"I see."
I already know from the start and there's no more room for doubt that he's from another world. But hearing things like this from him really makes me all the more realize that he's not someone of this world.
"There are others too, like 'Wilco'. It means, 'Will comply' after receiving the order."
"Hmm…"
"But then again. This is the first time you've asked something about me. I'm quite happy to know that you're gaining interest about me."
"…"
… Is that how it seems? But thinking about it, it DOES looks like that. It is the first time that I asked him something about him. I particularly didn't care anything about him before and I didn't find the need to do so. Am I really getting interested about him now?
"Just ask if you want to know more."
"Don't worry. I don't, anymore."
But I can't have him know that I do.
It's just…
It's embarrassing.
…
..
.
"… *sigh* I completely forgot…"
"I am very sorry about this. The reservation is also completely booked and I cannot open another room as of the moment."
"I see. So Ceres and I will be sleeping the same room."
"You go sleep outside, slime."
"No way!"
I completely forgot that the reservation that I booked for today is only a single bed room! What should I do with this…??
Before leaving for this travel with the cemetery as my destination, I made sure to make a reservation for the inns that I will be staying at. But all I rented was a single room with a single bed. Of course, that's because I didn't know this guy will be coming as well!
Thinking that, I tried to rent another room, but they said they're all booked because of a festival. And on top of that, all other inns are also completely booked according to this person…! It took us half of the day to travel from the mountain to this town so it's already nighttime. As expected, I can't go around and ask for another inn to let us in being it this late.
Having done with the gathering of Reflectan, one more flower to be collected and I will be done. It will take me 6 days to reach the cemetery by horse so I have to gather the flower by tomorrow and start departing right after it. I have to properly rest tonight or else the rest of the travel will be bad…
But this…!
"I wonder if there're soft blankets here."
"Of course, dear customer."
"Nice."
"What are you nonchalantly thinking about trivial things?! Aren't you bothered by it?? We only have a single room! A single bed to top it off!"
"But we can't do anything about it, right? Why not just enjoy it?"
"E-E-E-Enjoy?! What are you planning to do to me when I'm asleep?!"
"Hahaha. You're reasoning really gets disrupted and can't think properly when you're at your wits end, huh Ceres?"
"I-I-I-Idiot!!"
"… Ah…"
Glancing at him, I saw tears falling down his cheeks.
H-Huh? Did I say something too far…?
"Dear customer! Are you okay??"
"N-No… *sniffle* It's just…"
He continued to wipe his tears and now I can't remove this guilt surfacing in my chest. Did I really say something to offend him…?
"It's the first time in a long time that Ceres called me an 'Idiot'…"
"… That's it?!"
"D-Dear customer…??"
Look! Even the receptionist is bewildered!
"Who wouldn't be happy?? I ranked up from a slime to an idiot! That means I'm now a seen by Ceres a lot better than before! From being a monster, I'm now a human!"
"… Slime…"
"Urk! I ranked down again… *sniffle* Ceres… Did you come to hate me again…?"
He then hanged his head while wearing a sullen face.
"I never liked you in the first place. And I told you already that I despise you."
"Phew… Thank goodness. Wait… I… I wonder what's this complicated feeling… I'm relieved at the same time complicated. It feels a lot more normal to hear Ceres hating me than thinking that she's come to like me."
["These customers are weird…"]
…
"So this is the room, huh…"
We didn't have any choice but to stay in the reserved room.
It was a simple room you can see anywhere. Not expensive looking and not cheap looking. It's a four by three meter room with only the bed a small closet inside. The window is covered by a siple white cloth serving as a curtain. There's also a second door that leads to the bathroom. It's all wooden so every time I took a step, a slight creak can be heard below my feet.
But on the side note… *sigh*
This day is tiring… I feel like my mood is also being affected by the turning of the events…
"Listen here, slime."
"I'm listening."
"Do something funny and I'll cut you down without a second thought."
"Roger that. I don't know if I'll be able to resurrect if I died again so I'm not taking risk. Dying can be scary if you think about it. Haha."
"Ah…"
That's right… He already died once.
… Muu… I didn't mean it that way… But this mouth of mine just. *sigh*
… But what's with him? Mentioning his death again. I didn't meant it like that too and I'm not serious about killing him. I know he already experienced death… I can't imagine just what kind of feelings he had when he died. If he talks about it like that, I will kind of feel bad.
"Hm. I told you don't have to mind it."
"… I'll go out for walk."
"I'm going too. Let's look around the stalls. I heard there's a festival here, too."
"… Do what you want."
I got out of the room and walked out directly, making my way out of the inn. I don't know if that slime did follow me as my mind is now occupied with one thing. No… It feels like I'm just running away from him after our talk… I know how it feels and he knows how it actually is… Making me feel bad all the more.
Death…
… I've already felt like dying for I don't know how many times. I've faced death like it was the natural thing for me to do. Every day was just me surviving for the next day. I've wandered the streets for whatever reason I thought of. Just trying to run away from whatever that wants my death. Who knows when a knife was already pointed in my throat that time when I sleep? If Anya and Aunt Anastasia didn't pick me up that time… I wonder if I'm still here walking along these stalls right now…?
The busy street where all kinds of sellers have gathered because of some festival here. I haven't heard what the festival is all about, since this is the first time I tried to stay in a town before going to the cemetery. But now I just want to leisurely take my time to sink in my thoughts for a while.
I placed my hands in the pocket of my leather jacket. The night can still be a lot cold even if it's summer season.
"*sigh*"
For some reason, I feel a lot more down recently. Maybe because my parents' death anniversary is coming, I really feel on the edge lately. Like all of those fears may come back all at once. Those that I once have already left behind may haunt me again. Thinking that, I can't help but feel scared…
I don't want to experience those anymore…
"Candied Napple! Just for a cheap price! If you buy 5 you can have 1 more!"
The bright orange lights from the bulbs in every stalls and stores, making the place fill with orbs floating all around the place. Small children running around while holding to their parents' hands, reminds of the time I had with Mom and Dad. Couples, while linking arms, are enjoying the atmosphere. Merchants calling around for customers. I walk aimlessly around while dreamily watching the smiles and laughter of the town's people that fills the air, making me wonder if it's okay for me to be here…
Am I really allowed to be in such a place? Me who have once lost my place? Me who have lost everything? The time of my innocence is now just like a fleeting dream, a moment where I was just happily drowned in my parents love. The moment where I can just go outside a play, have fun, and laugh with them…
But… For me who have done a lot of terrible things… Have been done a lot of bad things… For these hands that are soaked in blood.
Am I really allowed to-
"Ceres."
"Eh… Ah?"
"Let me see your hands."
I saw him hiding something from his back while smiling towards me. I'm still at a loss while thinking so I could not sort out what he was just saying.
"Ah…"
Without even waiting for me to give him my hand, he pulled my right hand out from my pocket and…
"I was thinking this would look good on you."
… he fit a small ring on my ring finger. It's just a simple silver ring with a small pale bluish crystal like stone at the middle. But I was dumbstruck. I look at him and the ring on my finger back and forth like a lost little child.
"See? I watch you cook every time back home and I really think that your hands are beautiful, so I thought they would be perfect."
"… Ah…"
Taking another look at my finger where the finger is on, my eyes slowly blurred and I can't make anything in front of me even as I look at his face. Along with the lights surrounding us, it all feels like a dream. I couldn't processed what just happened but… I felt my face became so hot… and like there's a lump stuck in my throat… I…
"C-Ceres? Y-You're crying?? You don't like it to the point of crying…?"
"… Eh… Crying…? Me?"
… I touched my cheeks that are now damped from the dripping tears. As I felt the tears running down, the finger that has now a ring worn on it caught my eye… I carefully looked at the back of my hand now adorn with the ring.
The bustling crowd now seems so far away, it's like I entered a small world where it's just me and him.
The ring shines perfectly from the lights around us, as they seem to dance from the beating drums of the festival. It fits exactly on my finger like a gentle reflection, embracing me with its warmth. I'm at a loss for words as I try to look at it along with my fingers that I once thought are just cold blooded tools that knows no gentleness. It's just a thin ring… but it feels so warm…
Just thinking about how he really thought this would fit my fingers…
And… I really think… it's really pretty…
"H-Huh? I AM crying… What's with this…?"
"D-Did you not like it?? Should I remove it??"
"A-Ah… Uhm…"
"Ceres?"
Even I was bewildered by my action. When he tried to remove the ring I immediately pulled my hand away. It's like I didn't want to have it removed from my finger. And the more I think about it, the more I feel my tears fall down from my eyes. My head hanged downwards as I try to suppress my emotions while I bring my hands to my chest.
"… Are you okay?"
Saying that, he brought his hands towards my face and used his sleeves to wipe my tears away from my cheeks. I thought I wouldn't like it and I never thought he will do something like it but… For some reason. It's not unpleasant at all…
"… *sniffle* Mm…"
He brought my face to look up and perhaps, from wearing it for a long time, I can feel his warmth through his sleeves along with the direct touch of his hands. He used his fingers to wipe the tears from below my eye making me close it unconsciously.
"There, there."
His face only has worry in his eyes, a gentle gaze that shows only kindness. I can even see his eyebrows contort towards the center, his lips that are slightly frowned. I've felt like I've seen them before but… For now, I really feel secure, surprising even for myself.
"… Han-"
"Mama. Look. There's a couple!"
"Oh right. They look so cute together, isn't it? But Mama and Papa won't lose to them though. Ufufu."
"…!!"
I immediately distanced myself away from him and hid my hands on my back.
"Ceres?"
"D-Don't look…"
I can't… My face is so hot right now. I'm sure my face is all red and I certainly don't want to show it to him. I CAN'T show it to him.
Eh...? Eh?? What just happened?!?! What was that earlier!? Wait… Let's carefully analyze what happened first. I was walking right…?? I was just walking around the stalls… and then, and then… Uhm… He gave me a ring and… My rings are beautiful he said… Ah! No…! My hands?? Yeah… My hands… and his hands… on my cheek…
"…~~!!!"
"Are you okay, Ceres? You're jumping up and down there… you were crying earlier but… Are you really okay, now?"
"I-I-I-I'm okay… just… please… Leave me alone for now…"
"I can't do that. I can't leave you alone in that state in this late at night."
"I'm okay, so please…"
"No can do."
"… Geez!! Just leave me alone for now!!"
…
..
.
"… Slime… Are you awake?"
"Yeah."
We're now inside the room and is now lying in the bed. I placed a barrier of things between us just to make sure. I really can't just sleep beside him, after all. That would be the last thing I want. But… this doesn't really help since I can still feel his presence behind me… I can't really calm down and sleep. And there's still that thing earlier…
"… I want to ask something…"
The night sky is covered with clouds like it's about to rain, so it is quite dark outside. Our only source of light is the dim light from the lamp besides the bed. It's a tranquil atmosphere but... The silence is making me all the more conscious of him beside me... Uu... So I'm at least trying to strike a conversation to lessen my tension.
But why is he perfectly fine with this…? Does he not care about a woman besides him while he sleeps? Not like I care about that but, does he not just simply see me as a woman??
That in itself makes me feel irritated for some reason.
"Sure go ahead."
"Can't you really not forget what happened earlier no matter what?"
"I absolutely refuse."
"WHY??"
I rise from the bed and looked at him who's now lying with his back facing me.
"It's such a precious memory of a cute Ceres. Why would I go out of my way to forget it?"
"…!! Geez! Forget about it!!"
"I absolutely refuse!"
"*sigh* Aaah… Idiot…"
I returned to lie on the bed exasperated. Why does this guy always get stubborn at the weirdest stuff…?
Moreover… I really think I'm not myself recently. Is it because of stress? I think I'm not that tired or overworked. If I come up with a reason, I can only think about my parents' death anniversary. Every year, I tend to remember all sorts of memories from my past whether I like it or not. But this time's a lot different…
Is it because I'm with this guy…?
"Hey… Slime."
"Yeah?"
"… What did you… Ah... Mm. On a second thought, it's nothing."
"Hey, don't be like that. You just made me curious about it."
I felt the bed creaked and moved, maybe because of him sitting up from the bed. I covered my face with my hands and…
"... What… What did you feel when you died…?"
"… I told you not to mind it too much. I, myself don't think about it that much anymore."
"Just answer it… Just think of it like telling me a bed time story."
"You can't sleep?"
"…"
I couldn't reply immediately. I ran my fingers across the ring finger where the ring was just on earlier. I returned the ring after that. As expected, I can't accept that kind of gesture from this guy. I just… I don't want to. But… There's a tad of regret that I can't erase no matter what. And being aware of it once again, like a water splashed on me and waking me up, what happened earlier is just so embarrassing. If there's a hole nearby I would want to bury myself there this instant. Crying in front of him… Uu… The greatest blunder of my life…
"Hm…"
*creak*
And with another creak from the bed, I can feel him lie down on the bed once again.
"It was… It was full of regret and… I felt like everything just ended. I was scared."
"… Even you who killed a Chaos Wolf by himself?"
"I'm just a human too, in case you forgot. I can feel fear like a normal person."
"Hmm…"
Just like being reminded of the feeling, I can feel a constricting sensation in my chest so I placed my hand over it to suppress it.
"Of course, it was painful. I was a little bit tolerant of pain than an average person but… The bullets that entered my body were hot as hell, the blood continued to pour out even if I tried to contract my muscles, I couldn't breathe because of the blood clotting in my throat, and I couldn't move at all."
"…"
I can't imagine how that felt. But being in front of death's door, I can somehow relate. Though the pain he's talking about may be far from what I can think of. I myself felt pain like no other and even if I tried to forget about them, it's no use…
"Even Pola was trying to call out to me that time and was shaking me. But I couldn't hear much because of the continuous fire from the guns. My eyes were failing me, my ears were failing me. It was a horrific experience."
"…? Pola?"
"My subordinate. I'm not blaming her at all but she's the one I got to save from the enemy soldiers."
"Oh. The one you told us about when we first met you?"
"Yeah."
'Her'… means she's a girl.
"But the pain was nothing compared to the mental damage. The darkening of the surroundings, the regret of having not done what you could have done more, the feeling of not seeing your comrades anymore… Just… disappearing like that. Though, I think it's one of the instincts of a human to fear death. But still…"
"I…"
"But, here I am. Beside you. It was one hell of an experience but… It's not all that bad if I think about what I became or where I am now."
"…"
Not about what happened… But what he became after all that. It's not about the pain… but about what I gained after that… If I think about it like that…
Hm… He says some good things once in a blue moon.
But… I wonder why. I feel so light right now. My heart feels so light. It's been a while since I felt like this. It's like I can just forget about everything and sleep without any worries. I don't want to think that it's because of him so…
"… Hey, Slime…"
"Hm?"
Facing his direction as he look at mine as a response, I say...
"… I really hate you after all. *giggle*"
…
..
.
Chapter 21 End
<STATUS DISPLAY>
Name: Hans Alius Schmidt
Race: Human
Class: None
[Title/s]
Contracted One, Black Sheep
[Status]
Strength: 206(+206)/9999
Agility: 82(+82)/9999
Intelligence: 171(+171)(+500)/9999
Defense: 15(+15)/9999
[Skills]
<Active Skills>
Mana Detect Lv. 10/10
Crush Strike Lv. 10/10
Beast Soul Activation Lv. 1/1
Mana Burst Lv. 4/10
Telepathy Lv. 1/1
<Passive Skills>
Status Lv. 1/1
Harden Lv. 8/10
Damage Resistance Lv. 8/10
Beast Soul Link Lv. 1/1
[Crystal Points: 327]
