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Just testing myself on my understanding of emotions
Alright, hello to whoever may be reading this. The time is 12:27 am. I am currently in a stable emotional state. I'll be listening to Tame impalas' music whilst I write. Feel free to correct me or give feedback where you see fit. Now, we begin.
Apathy, a beautiful word. It's a word i don't commonly hear but it seems natural to speak of it in my head. It feels comforting, like I hold a connection to it. As I am unable to express and understand emotions normally i can't exactly explain the feeling.
Apathy is defined as a lack of concern, enthusiasm, interest, etc. This seems to be the definition widely accepted among the many different groups of humans that exist. It's a simple meaning, a simple definition, a cruel act brought upon by the lack of interest in the humans that brought upon its creation. Most humans seem to see words as just that, but words hold alot of meaning, alot of power. Words can be manipulated and shaped into any and every form and this is especially true for the English language which i speak. Perhaps it's because of my unique way of thinking, my interest and extreme care of the inanimate, my abnormalities.
Think of apathy as a woman, imagine the expression she may hold at any moment. She looks sad, very sad. Because of this simple description it's easy to envision her as such. It's easy to do this because apathy is merely a word but when given a human persona, only then can words be truly understood. Humans are beings that can only truly understand themselves.
Apathy, when looked at from many different perspectives, is truly the beginning and end of all emotions. Remember that women, remember her face. Now ask yourself, is that really all she has to show? Humans are beings that wear masks at all times, even if they don't seem to realize. They don't care for a stranger until that stranger becomes their acquaintance, they get angry and lash out at friends and family even though they claim to love them more than themselves, they cry and let their weakness/weaknesses be seen by those that are present when faced with backlash, negative acts or events with depressing or negative results, but small mishaps can't dictate their lives, can't stop them from living, and so humans must return to their normal forms after a time, they must put back on their masks.
In society, this mask dictates status and, just like a fingerprint, no mask is the same. Many factors determine how these masks are formed, how these masks are worn and what status a mask dictates. Nothing is certain under the topic of these masks except the fact that it is present at all times except at birth, at death, and when the wearer is inflicted with a disability or sickness that is incompatible with these masks. The masks help keep emotions in check and a lack thereof results in the emotions becoming hard to effectively control. We can conclude that the mask is a form of control that is subconsciously created by the human mind to project the image of normality that is expected to be upheld by all humans.
Apathy is the only emotion not controlled by the mask as it is the only emotion that is always stable. Apathy is always present when the mask is present and active when the mask no longer has control because like ying and yang, apathy affects the mask as it affects apathy. The feelings that emotions bring about cannot be experienced forever just because of one moment. These feelings brought about by the over stimulation of these emotions, and the loss of the mask's control, may go about for long periods of time, but never forever. They must always either return to the control of the mask or be suppressed by perfect apathy.
Look at that woman now, does she still look sad? For most of you, I'm guessing not. In my mental eyes, she is no longer sad, she is simply lonely as she is the only emotion that can escape the control of the psychological tool that is the mask. Amongst all the emotions present around her, she looks carefree, uncaring, gazing at everything around her without a shimmer of excitement in her eyes. She truly is the most beautiful emotion, existing in one state, experiencing the many states of the many emotions, and being the one that holds them up.
In truth, Apathy is not an emotion, it is the lack thereof. Everything must come from something, but emotions come from nothing and return to nothing. Happiness, sadness, anger, they all have a foundation, a base on which they were built. That is the true form of apathy. The absence of emotions. The presence of nothing. The zero of emotions.
Hello to whoever has finished reading. The time is 1:26 am. My emotional state fluctuates as i am calm but also happy to finish this writing. Tame impala's "New person, same old mistakes" was a useful piece of music for this writing, helping me to concentrate whilst allowing me to stay aware of the passing of time every time it looped. I hope my abnormal way of explaining myself was understandable to you readers. Feel free to correct me and give feedback where you deem necessary.
Goodnight and/or Morning.
