3 longing

The glowing city nightlife filled with lighted sky-high buildings, fast-paced white-collar workers rushing home, and flashing neon billboards passed by with a blur as a black Lincoln car drifted through the bustling metropolis and into the suburbs.

With his eyes closed, the man in the passenger seat of the car seemingly appeared to be in a tranquil state as his entire being exuded an air of indifference. However, his clenched fists proved that he was otherwise experiencing inner turmoil.

The small whisper from Xu Wenqi's lips still rang clearly in Shen Yue's ears.

"Schizophrenia."

The disorder that Shen Yue carried for his entire adulthood and would continue to carry for the rest of his life. The reminder of his illness stimulated the repressed childhood memories locked deep within his mind. The repeated slaps, the continuous hysterical sobbing, the startlingly graphic bloody bathroom, the damp dusty basement, and the mocking laughter of children all flashed through his mind, vanishing as quickly as they appeared. The onslaught of such memories ignited dark swirling emotions within him; the abyss of anger, pain, and vengeance threatened to engulf him.

Shen Yue's breathing gradually became unstable and he suddenly opened his eyes. His eyes showed a cruel predatory glint reflected in the rearview mirror. The driver, noticing the cold atmosphere and Shen Yue's abnormality, hurriedly accelerated the car into the cover of the night.

_____

At the hotel, Xu Wenqi fell in love with herself. To be more precise, she fell in love with her own face.

After she stabilizing her mentality from the frightening encounter with Shen Yue, the first thing she decided to do was examine her new body. Upon entering the brightly lit bathroom, a porcelain face with large doe-like eyes, an upturned nose, and glossy cherry red lips greeted her in the mirror. The person reflected in the mirror blinked and smiled dazzlingly. Showing her pearly white teeth, two small pear vortexes could be seen on the side of her mouth. It was at this moment that Xu Wenqi wanted to go to the Civil Rights Bureau and obtain a marriage certificate with herself as the groom.

"Woo, forget Huo Lizheng. Why didn't the original owner just marry herself? Tsk, tsk, no wonder the original owner had so many guys chasing after her. Even I would cut sleeves* and chase her too. Aiyaa, this must be what they mean when they say beauty can cause the downfall of the city."

Xu Wenqi squeezed her cheeks and lamented on how soft the original owner's skin was. It was as smooth as a baby's buttocks and so tender she could squeeze water out of it. Xu Wenqi then proceeded to examine her body. Standing at 1.72m, Xu Wenqi had slender long legs with a small waist and flat stomach. Her slim arms and curvaceous chest was well-proportioned to the rest of her body.

"Such a figure is truly worthy of being envied," sighed Xu Wenqi. "If only I looked like this in the real world."

The thought about the real world suddenly brought an overwhelming pang of longing to Xu Wenqi. Once she had thought about the real world, she could not stop dredging various emotions. She had an unexpected, irrational fear that she would never return home, never see her family and friends again, and never experience the warmth of her loved ones again. She was terribly afraid of the chasm of loneliness that awaited her the more she thought about the people she left behind. At this instant, Xu Wenqi realized that she was alone in this world with no other person to trust or rely on. A sense of sorrow flooded her as she felt the true meaning behind homesickness for the first time in her life. Her nose became astringent and tears began to collect in her eyes.

"Hey, what's there to cry about huh? I'm now rich, beautiful, a-and I-"

Endless crystal droplets fell onto the counter of the sink.

Xu Wenqi tried to suppress her sadness by convincing herself of how great the situation was. She was going to view the situation optimistically. She was rich now; she could buy her heart's content of the finest set of clothes and spend money as if it were running water. She could taste the world's most delicious dishes; she could live a grand life consisting of just eating, sleeping, and relaxing.

'How many people would kill to live such a privileged life?' she thought.

Yet the tears did not stop streaming down her face for Xu Wenqi knew she would eagerly give up such a luxurious life to see her parents again. Guilt rushed to her as she felt that she had disappointed them by leaving them behind.

___

After a while, the sobs coming from the bathroom eventually ceased and the sound of rushing water could be heard.

Xu Wenqi wiped her face with a soft bathroom towel and attempted to push away the depressing thoughts. She decided to cheer herself up by ordering food.

*a Chinese idiom that euphemizes homosexuality.