5 Chapter 5: Growl

I was not my usual self the whole day. My mind is still in the remnants of last night. I feel more and more worried and concerned, every time I remember what my mother looked like. I reel restless. Last night is my first time to see her that close after a while. And it was not good. She does not look good.

“hey man!” I felt a soft thud on my back. “where have you been now, last night?” Jacq asked as I try to eat my lunch quietly. I ditched him earlier because of feeling the need to be left alone and I think he did not get the message.

I do not want to be rude that is why I simply answered him. “pyramid.” I made myself busy with my lunch instead. The thoughts still lingering inside my head and I do not want him to know about it or even just notice it. I do not have enough strength and courage right now. I am afraid of the idea that he might feed me and that will just make me more anxious.

“whoa! You did!?”

I did not bother to answer him this time and decided to just eat my sandwich.

“oh, come on man! Tell me more!” his tone did not change, still mocking.

I am not sure if he really is interested or even willing to just listen. He does not sound like either of the two. Maybe he does not have anything to do now. He started hovering and continued urging me to talk more. Annoyed, I briefly answered him. This is not the right time but…

“I tried drinking water from a cactus.” His face lit up when I started talking. His face shouts like ‘I won!’

He put his chin on his palm as his arm rested on the table. He looks like a kid giddy to listen to a bedtime story. Slouched in the headboard of the bed, with a hot milk on the bed side table. I smiled feeling comforted a bit. I willingly proceeded in telling him what happened. Maybe this is what I really need. Someone who is just there, willing to listen. Nothing else.

I told him the whole thing. I did not leave a single detail behind. We consume our time him, listening, and me being his storyteller. I was totally grateful to him because of what he did. Little by little, I forgot about my mother’s alarming image. I was so grateful of his own way of consoling me.

When life starts feeling rough, I am thankful to have a friend like him next to me. I do not regret talking to him and overcoming the troubling feeling I have. I am so glad that I open-up to him, in a sense. Our own bubble got popped when the bell started ringing for the second time today, indicating the end of lunch time.

“see you tomorrow dude!” He said as we wave our goodbyes. “I want to hear more about your dreams! And by the way, pops just texted me. Tell your mom that there is work waiting at our house.”

He then went to their car and drove off. I remained standing as I watch the car disappear. I heaved out a sigh, thinking about my mother.

I wish I could help her.

I am walking in a grassy land. The shrubs and wildflowers in different varieties are as mesmerizing as they could be. The sun is in its afternoon glow. the wind whispered lullabies. I am, again, awakened by the strange noises. The same scenario replays whenever I started travelling in my dream, with a difference that my dream tonight led me in a mysterious island.

I am not yet sure of where I am exactly. The only clear thing is the wide grass and shrublands in front of me and the strange noises I kept hearing inside the forest, that looks inviting.

I am inhaling all the air that I can as I fought the urge to enter the inviting forest. There is something about it that pulls me to go deeper. There is this nagging feeling that tells me to just go and find out the secrets that might be hidden in the forest. I cannot actually die in a dream, can I? I know that someone could die from a nightmare, but this is far beyond from a nightmare. This is too good that I hope this could happen in real life. I was just feeling nervous of what I might encounter inside.

I know that I could just ignore it and do something else but how will that make may dreams special? Now that I think that the purpose of this dreams is for me to discover the undiscovered. To find the beauty that is hidden and be the first one to see it. My dream will be lousy and boring if I just ignore this feeling, that I realized to be something significant in most of the places I went to.

As I slowly entered the forest, and took the first step inside it, I felt a tingling sensation running up to my chest, to my heart up further to my nape. I had goosebumps as if being mystified. This is a bit different from the previous ‘feelings’ I felt in the places that I went to. This is a bit weirder and stronger.

When I ventured further, I felt my torso burning up until it stayed in one place, in the area of my heart. My legs became heavier as I felt a cold air around me pushing me in a direction. I started going on my right side and pretended that I did not heard the strange noise and there are no weird things happening to me.

But contrary to my intention, to start on my right side and away from the direction the wind is pushing me to, the wind became intense and forceful. As if my legs have their own minds, I walked straight and became more nervous as the strange noise became louder. I gulped every step I took, looking intently on my feet, silently wishing that they would stop now.

Suddenly, I heard a growl coming from the same direction. It echoed in the whole forest but hearing the sound, in the front row, made me running fast. Unconsciously entering the spot on the forest that I wish to avoid, in the process.