14 Chapter 14: Why

I looked at him carefully, trying to find out what he is thinking about. “you do not need to push yourself.” I told him, assuring him that it is okay even if he stops now.

“—to cover up the dead bodies of my family.” He said in gritted teeth.

There is nothing wrong in development and growth but having too much of something brings nothing but more loss, material or not. Ironic right? There are infinite desires carved in every man’s heart and each are carved differently. But here is the catch, there are good and bad sides, the two sides of a coin, and the more we want, the more we run after it. We chase it endlessly and blindly unaware of the maelstrom of perils that surrounds the greed in our hearts, until it is too late.

We get destroyed of the little thing that we think we need. It goes bigger and bigger, like how a small flame would engulf the entire forest in just a matter of second. It would not grow and spread if not fed, so as how we should maintain the balance of both sides of our hearts.

“they build ranches for the cattle, in place of us. They shaved the forest bald for usable lands and tourism. They made us homeless, and all the creatures that is dependent to the once, bountiful land of Amazon.”

I listened to him as I tried, again, to imagine how would it be if ever these millions of hectares of land would vanish. I shove the thought away for it was too horrible I was almost out of breath. And it soon came into reality when Kruktu invited me for a walk to show me something. He brought me in a part of the forest, that was once the heart of their land, but was now their borders. What I saw that I know, would forever change my perspective in life.

I saw a great amount of land empty of life. It is only dirt with a half of the land covered in grass and shrubs for the cattle to feed on. I casted my eyes on a distance and noticed high and white fences and gates dividing the land from the outside. There are a few tractors everywhere and other machineries I cannot name. there are at least two, of what seemed to be, storage house and a barn house. There is a fancy house in one corner that I think will shelter the ‘owner’ of the property.

A sudden rage came, and I unconsciously clenched my jaw in disbelief after discovering what happened and finding out the real purpose of all the bloodshed. They pointed their guns and mercilessly pulled the trigger, just for this?

“it was not easy. Our daily lives became a struggle after the interference of the outsiders.” He told me in a hushed tone, as if controlling twice or even more than of the rage I am feeling right now. It is an eye sore for me to see this now, with or without the knowledge of the past, but seeing him wander his gaze to the destroyed and nostalgic land made me emotional. “the change was so sudden, it was like a bomb exploding in front of us, and all we can do that time is just watch motionless and whimper and weep, afraid to be discovered and get killed, the remaining ones of our kind.”

“many things changed after the deforestation. We felt the deficiency, but the most wounded is the nature. The environmental changes we feel every moment signifies how bruised and barely living the nature is. From the sudden change of the weather. There are times that it gets cold, and this place should not be that way. It is usually hot and humid even if it rains almost unstoppable. And from the sudden emergence of animals that is always out of sight.” He continued.

And I know, for a fact, that this does not only happen here but is experienced globally. The poison fruit of the vicious monster; deception. Getting deceived and deceiving, until all evil accumulates and would end up doing the irreversible.

I, together with Kruktu, solemnly watched the horizon with a bit of hope for the change to come. The air here is far different than inside the forest. It smelled of nauseous smoke from the machines, feces, hydrogen, dry and almost lifeless, if not for the cattle roaming and walking round. The smell mixes in the air, making it foul and a bit unbearable. It also smelled like cadaverine or smell of rotting flesh that made everything worse.

I looked on my right and was interrupted from bitterly watching the cattle move and eat, when the thick plants on my side started moving. I was frozen in shock and terror, afraid of the predator that might be lurking behind the bushes. I caught Kruktu’s attention to warn him about the possible danger. When the rustling became louder and more violent, I hurried beside Kruktu and picked up a random twig and lifted it in the air, ready to throw it to the uninvited guest.

“get ready. I think it is a wild boar.” I said trying to muster up the courage to fight.

“no. it is not.” He said lightly.

I looked at him, confused. I noticed that his movements stayed the same, he even looked calmer now as if anticipating the sudden arrival of that something.

“It is a friend.”

Then, a woman emerged from the bushes with her child. She is carrying him wearing a different kind of clothing. She and her son are a bit more covered than the people in Kruktu’s tribe. She is wearing an oversized shirt with that familiar skirt, but it is made up of something else. Her child on the other hand is more covered and wearing decent clothes, a shirt, and shorts.

They greeted each other in their language. Like what he did earlier, he also introduced me to Lila and her son, Achotu. They also been living here for centuries too, just like Kruktu.

“She is from a different tribe. Our tribe and hers are enemies in the past, but we just recently formed a truce and decided to set aside our dispute against our true enemy. Them.”

Yes, them. The other kinds of humans. The humans that chose to take another path. The ones who chose to be mute, deaf and blind for the sake of their infinite desires.

“but why me?” I asked the thought that keeps bugging me since the beginning. “I mean, if you are that hurt and lost, why are you still talking to me? Why do you still entertain me and not resent me like how you resent them? Why are you not thinking ill of me?”

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