10 Chapters 26 and 27

Order amid clutter is the best way to describe Cabin One. Sketches of planets, stars, animals, plants, and human-like figures cover every inch of wall space. There are four separate handmade wire and clay solar systems hanging from the ceiling. The floor has only slim paths from the couch to the bed and the door. The rest is crowded by tables and desks covered with computers, drawing boards and tiny figurines placed methodically on role-playing game boards. Tucked in the corner was an easel with an unfinished painting of two barrel-chested, clean-shaven, and sweaty Roman centurions standing victoriously on a battleground filled with human carnage.

God was crouched over a small table, wearing reading glasses with magnifying lenses clipped over the regular lenses. He peered down at a spherical brownish clay planet propped carefully in His fingers. He glanced at a drawing hanging next to Him, then back at the planet. He carefully picked at it with an X-Acto knife, tracing small lines along its surface.

His eye color reflected the detail and hues of the clay planet, even when He wasn't looking at it.

The door swung open, slamming into a table. American Civil War figurines on the table rattled and fell over. God didn't look up from the planet as I backed into the cabin, still clinging to Jay's arms. The blood was pouring from his wrists, making it hard for me to keep my grip. As we carried him along the slim path in Cabin One, the blood trickled down onto the wooden floor. Billy banged against another table and winced as a grassy, Styrofoam mountain tipped over onto a group of chariots, rolled over a legion of foot soldiers, and tumbled off the table. Billy kicked it out of his way and we struggled toward a ratty, gray and blue couch pushed against the wall next to the window. We dropped Jay down onto the couch and I knelt down beside him, wiping the blood from his eyes.

"Jay," I said to him. "Can you hear me?"

God was still carving His little ball of clay as Jay's blood soaked into the couch.

"Sir!" Billy called.

God sighed and looked up at Billy, his eyes magnified through the glasses with the clay planet fading from his eyeballs and a dark blue tide flooding into its place. Billy stared at His eyes until God flipped up the magnifying lenses and His eyes shrank back to normal, or as close to normal as God's eyes ever got.

"Jay needs your help!"

"It can wait." God returned his focus to the small planet.

A soft knock on the door drew my attention away from Jay. Edward was standing in the door frame holding our shoes and my organizer. I motioned for him to leave them by the door.

I pulled off Jay's shirt and Billy helped me take off his shorts. I took off my own shirt and covered Jay. Blood continued streaming down from cuts along his forehead. I stood and made my way around the tables to reach God.

"What do you need me to do?" I whispered.

"Leave me alone!" God growled.

I backed away, shook my head, then walked to a box shoved under a table. There were white bath towels folded inside. I grabbed them and tossed one to Billy and another to Edward.

"Dry him off."

They rushed over to Jay and began drying off his skin and hair. Once the towels were soaked through with water and blood, I threw them new ones. They tossed the bloodied towels into a pile by the door. Jay began groaning and jerking as they rubbed the dry towels into the gaping wounds. Billy wrapped a towel around the wound in Jay's wrist and pressed it tightly.

"No," I said. "He has to bleed. Just get off the water."

The process continued, with the pile of bloody towels growing. By the time the box was empty, Billy and Edward were covered from chest to feet with Jay's blood. The wounds had slowed to a trickle, Jay's hair was wet with blood but there didn't seem to be much water left.

God yawned, removed the glasses and stood. He walked to one of the wire solar systems and pressed the clay planet onto a wire rod. He studied it, adjusted, then wiped His hands off on His shirt. He glanced down at the pile of bloodied towels.

"I'll get them," I said, rushing over and gathering them up.

God walked around me toward Jay. He paused and looked over the game boards and the fallen pieces. He shook his head, then knelt down beside Jay. He ran his hand through the boy's blood-soaked hair.

"He always has the hardest time," God whispered to himself. He rubbed His hands over the cuts in Jay's forehead, wrists, abdomen and feet. The bleeding stopped.

"What happened?" God asked, still watching Jay.

"He fell into the lake," I said as I lifted up the towels.

"It was my fault. He didn't actually fall—I threw him in."

"I …," Edward mumbled. "I did, too."

God stood and faced Billy.

"Who actually threw him in?"

"I did," Billy said, raising his hand.

God motioned for Edward and me to leave. I cradled the pile of towels that were dripping all over me and led Edward to the door. He stopped before stepping outside.

"Why didn't You tell us he was Jesus?" Edward asked.

"What difference would it have made?"

God waved Edward away. Edward shook his head, took one more look at Jay, then closed the door.

"Sir," Billy started, but God held up his hand. He ducked under a table to fetch the small mountain. God's knees popped and He groaned slightly while straightening back up. He took the mountain back to its game board, sat it down, and began standing figurines up.

"Sorry about that," Billy said. "What can I do to help?'

"You've done enough, thank you."

Billy sighed, dipped his head, and waited. God fussed over each figurine, adjusting its position, craning his head down to check the figurine's line of sight. He would then look from above, and if satisfied, move to the next piece.

When He finished the game board, God walked to one next to Billy. He shooed Billy away, so Billy walked toward the couch and sat down on a patch of floor that didn't have any blood on it. Jay was sleeping on his stomach. His face was still pale; his lips were bluish pink.

Billy looked up from time to time, checking God's progress. Hours seemed to pass as God methodically worked with each figurine, checking its line of sight and its placement in respect to the other figurines.

Billy shifted to different sitting positions as his knees got sore. Jay's face began to warm as God fussed over the last game board. The dinner bell rang, but Billy stayed still.

"Okay," God said. "Why did you do it?"

"Sir," Billy said as he pushed himself off the ground. "I lost my temper—it was all my fault. I apologize."

"Why did you lose your temper?" God asked, turning to Billy. God's eyes were a light blue. He watched Billy, His expression somewhat detached, like that of a bored supervisor.

"We lost Tommy today," Billy said, dipping his head. "He fell off the side of the Island. It was just a lot to take, Sir. I just lost my temper."

"Why did you go to the waterfall?"

Billy didn't answer immediately, taking a few breaths and thinking about Sophia.

"Because I don't understand this place. None of us do, and I just hoped that something over there might give me an answer."

"Why do you think there are any answers for you to have?" God asked, His tone curious. His eyes darkened, almost to a royal blue. He approached Billy and looked down on him. "Why is it not enough just to have faith?"

"I don't know, Sir. I'm trying, but it's hard."

"No," God said, returning to his work table. "It's not hard—you simply don't think about the other side of the lake. Don't think about Petrov, don't think about Tommy, don't think about—what's that girl you sit with?"

"Sophia, Sir."

"Yes, Sophia. Don't think about the distractions, and they will go away. Okay?"

"Okay."

God examined Billy as he picked up the magnifying glasses and used his shirt to buff the lenses.

"I can send you to The Wilderness for this, Billy."

"The Wilderness? Across the lake, you mean?"

"Yes. Do you want me to?"

Billy shook his head and looked up at God.

"I want to stay here."

"With Sophia."

Billy knew he was being trapped and the only thing to do was not to answer. He averted his eyes to World War II figurines on the game board next to him. There was one that caught his attention, a British Marine figurine. It was molded to look like it had been shot in the stomach. It was laying on the ground, head turned up toward the sky as another figurine, an American Navy Corpsman, was bent over him and dressing his wounds. The figurine's anguished face was lifelike.

The figurine's face turned. Its eyes met Billy's. It reached its hand up at Billy, motioning for help.

Billy flinched back and bumped against another table. The Civil War figurines fell again and God threw up His hands and stormed over to the game board. He shooed Billy away as He replaced the figures. He stopped, turned toward Billy, and looked down on him.

"Your cabin has been quite the headache for Me. I should send all of you over."

"That wouldn't be fair, Sir. It was my idea. It was my responsibility."

God flipped the magnifying lenses back over his reading glasses and his blue eyeballs blossomed into a dark green.

"Go eat. I'll give this some thought."

Billy didn't know what to say in response, so he just kept quiet. God turned toward the table and began standing the figurines in their correct locations again. Billy turned and took one last look at Jay.

"Billy," God called. "Give your friends a message for me."

******

"So what does that make Bali?" Ossie whispered.

Ossie, Simon, and Edward were huddled together at the table in the mess hall. Everyone was gossiping in hushed voices, all about the same thing. Each cabin had become its own insular sect, none of the children trusting their thoughts beyond their small circle. They were all segregated in lumps along the table, whispering back and forth as they tried to fit the new clues into the Island's puzzle.

Martha and her cabinmates were now draped in white bed sheets fashioned like burkas. Simon called them the "Ku Klux Clams" and was annoyed no one else thought it was funny.

The boys in Cabin Three had drawn red crosses on their foreheads and black dots on their wrists where Jay's wounds were. Cabin Four had started a pool on who would be the next to go. The boy who'd bet on Billy was gloating. His face sank when Billy walked through the door.

Sophia began to stand but was pulled down by her cabinmates. Billy kept his head lowered as he retrieved his tray. Edward and the others rushed over to him.

"He's letting you stay?" Simon asked.

"Not sure," Billy said with a shrug. A mound of mashed potatoes were dropped onto his tray by a curious mess hall worker.

"How's Jay?" Edward asked. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Go sit down," I called to Billy��s cabinmates. "Everyone settle down; we will talk about this in the morning. Hurry up and eat your food and go to your cabins—we're turning in early tonight."

Billy sat down with the others. He motioned for them to huddle in.

"I'm sorry, guys. This is my fault."

"We all agreed to go," patting Billy's shoulder. "It's on all of us. Please don't worry too much about it."

"Well, I'm gonna," Billy said. "We all are. God told me that one of us is going over tomorrow, but He won't say who."

Chapter 27

Billy's eyes fluttered open as he heard the floorboards creak under footsteps. He tilted his head up to see over his bunk. Edward was walking toward the door. Through the window, Billy could see the morning sunlight pushing through an ocean of fog that rose off the lake and crawled through the campground. Billy rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and sat up.

The cabin residents had stayed up late, guessing at who it would be that left the next morning. Billy felt guilty that he'd hoped Edward would have been full-grown when they woke.

But Edward was still a child.

"Hey," he called to Edward. "Where are you going?"

Edward turned. His eyes were red and weary.

"Hold on," Billy called, slipping down from his bunk. He grabbed his socks and shoes from under Ossie's bed and pulled them on. Edward paused at the door and waited, not looking back at Billy as he threw on an extra T-shirt, then followed Edward outside into the golden fog. The sun was a dim, blurry disc just above the horizon. It hadn't started warming the campground yet and goosebumps rose on the children's skin. Neither said anything. Billy just followed Edward past the cabins and into the woods.

Billy had already guessed where Edward was headed.

The cliff came into view with the plane parked close to the edge of the Island. Billy wondered what would happen if they pushed the plane over. Could the angels catch it? If not, would God be stuck there? Could He fly? Could the angels carry Him back to Heaven? Would the children be stuck as well? Another question was more pressing, though.

"Why are we here, Edward?"

Edward shrugged and walked toward the plane. He raised his hand to touch the nose, wiping off the morning dew. He kept walking as he dried his hands on his shorts and stopped just shy of the cliff. He clasped his hands behind his back and stared over the edge.

Billy stood next to him and watched Heaven below.

"I understand why you are thinking about it," Billy said. "Believe me, I do. It's not going to do any good, though."

"Why?"

"The angels will catch you," Billy said.

"They didn't catch Tommy."

There was no answer to that. Billy just stayed close. He considered what he should do if Edward tried to jump and whether it would be for the best to let him go.

"Have you thought about going over to the other side of the Island?" Billy asked. "Just to see if it's any better?"

"Wasn't that what got Tommy killed?"

Edward's face was blank, drained of emotion. He looked tired, but not in a way that he could simply sleep off. It was an exhaustion that soaked him all the way to his soul.

"Maybe you're not right for this side," Billy said. "Maybe you'd be happier over there. Hell, I'm not sure any of us are right for this pace. Whoever God ends up choosing, it might be the best thing for them."

Edward grunted, but didn't take his eyes off the heavens below.

"If you ever want to …" Billy began, but winced and cut himself off.

"What?" Edward asked.

"If you decide you want to, you know." Billy nodded at the cliff. "I don't think you should, but if you decide to go over, promise you will talk to me first. I won't stop you, but I at least want to know."

"Okay, thank you."

Edward sat on the ground, inched up to the edge of the cliff and dangled his legs off the ledge. Billy sat down next to him and wished Sophia were around. She'd be better at dealing with this sort of thing. He also thought about me, but I knew better than to interfere at this point.

"When I committed suicide," Billy said, but grimaced. "When I committed suicide, I didn't feel that there was anywhere left for me to go. The world seemed closed off to me. War was over, my home was crumbling, I didn't have any real friends around anymore. The only thing I had were the nightmares and the fear. I can see how you'd feel isolated now, but I think maybe you might explore all your options before you decide to end it all. We've only seen a small part of this place, and maybe The Wilderness isn't so bad."

"The Wilderness," Edward said. "What would you think of me if I did jump?"

Edward looked up and Billy tried to smile, but it came out like a frown.

"I want you to stay here," Billy said. "Our cabin needs you, but if you do jump, I'll support you. I understand the pain. It's not an easy thing to live with. Hell, if you ask me nicely, I'll push you off."

Edward chuckled and looked back over the cliff. He leaned forward and stared straight down to the bottom of the Island.

"I wonder if I'd just sail back into the cliff face, smack into a rock and get stuck?"

"Like a blob of bird crap?" Billy asked. "They'd send us down to clean you off, or just kick you off like you were stuck in the grill of a car."

Edward smiled wider and leaned back to lay on the ground.

"Here's the real question," Billy said. "Do you really want to die a virgin a second time?"

Edward gave Billy a curious grin.

"Oh, no, not me," Billy said, standing up and backing away, shaking out slightly like he'd fallen into animal feces. "Someone else, boy."

"I know," Edward replied, looking up through the fog. "Um, I don't know. I'm just a kid, those hormones haven't kicked in yet, I guess. What about you?"

"Well, I wasn't a virgin back in the real world," Billy said, still standing uncomfortably. "Sex wasn't ever an issue with me, but I never had any good kind of love, you know? My wife did her best, but …"

The comment just hung and Edward knew better than to pursue it.

"And Sophia?"

"Sophia," Billy echoed. "Yeah, I think I do love her. I'm okay with not ever having sex again, but I don't want to live without her."

"You could go over to the other side of the Island with her, see what it's like."

Billy shook his head and sat back down on the ground. Edward shrugged and looked up at the fog. It was burning away with the sunrise, now just thin wisps.

"Is sex really worth it?" Edward asked. "Is that really enough to justify living?"

"Son," Billy said, then laughed. "When I was at the loneliest in my life, one good lay gave me a hundred times the hope that any sermon ever did. I don't know nothing about your kind of sex, but our kind is just about the greatest thing God ever came up with."

"Huh." Edward sat up, backed from the cliff, and stood up. He looked over the edge. "Angels would probably catch me anyway."

Edward turned to Billy and motioned back to the campground. Billy followed.

"Thanks for talking with me," Edward said.

"No problem."

"So, if I do decide to go over to the other side of the Island," Edward said, "any idea how to get started on that?"

Billy took a hard breath. He glanced over at Edward, but only shook his head.

"I guess it's between me and God then."

They walked silently down the path. Edward stopped and grabbed Billy, pulling him into a hug. Billy grimaced.

"You're all right, Marine."

"Uh, thanks," Billy said, cringing. "Just don't let anyone see us like this, okay?

******

The first growth spurt started just before breakfast. They continued throughout the morning. Around 11 p.m., Edward was a full-grown man. The others in the cabin hid their relief, instead giving Edward sympathetic frowns, patting him on the back, and talking about their time in camp.

Edward seemed more relaxed. Somber, but resolved.

I offered to let Edward eat his lunch at the campground, but he was ready to leave. The children had gathered at the shore. Jay emerged from Cabin One and watched from behind the mess hall. Sophia and Billy stood together on the pier. Edward walked up to Billy and bent to hug him. Ossie reached in and wrapped his long arms around Edward. Simon ran up and jumped on Edward's back.

"Okay," Edward gasped, peeling Simon off his back. "I have to go."

"Thank you, Edward," Sophia whispered. She believed that Edward had chosen to go so Billy didn't have to and she wasn't entirely wrong.

Edward smiled and walked down the pier where I waited near the boat. Edward turned one last time as he stepped down into the boat. He held up his hand like a parting dignitary and his cabinmates waved back.

"Tell Petrov 'hello'!" Ossie called.

"I will."

I sat down in the rowboat and grabbed one oar, and motioned for Edward to take the other. We began rowing away from the pier.

"Bali?" Edward asked.

"Yes."

"Am I going to be happy over there?"

"If you choose to be."

We continued rowing. The sun bore straight down on us. Edward looked back to the shore; some of the children still watched us drift away. The airplane engine growled and revved up. It soon soared up from the Island and zoomed across the lake. It disappeared into the clouds.

"Is He going to find another soul to replace me?" Edward asked.

"Don't worry about that. Just worry about finding your place in The Wilderness."

"How many people are over there?"

"You won't be alone. Unless you want to be. It's not an easy place, but you will have more freedom. Probably more freedom than you ever had on Earth."

Edward glanced back at the campground one last time. The remaining children were just small dots on the pier. Edward waved his arm high above his head, but couldn't tell if they waved back.

When he turned to look at the far shore, he saw no piers. There were no signs of civilization at all. We were passing the waterfall and the currents tugged at us but didn't alter our route. The lake was calm today.

Edward looked down into the water as we paddled, watching thick, big-mouth bass race alongside and under the boat.

God would sometimes row out and feed them, which no one knew but me. I think He missed the wildlife, too, but they caused Jay too many problems.

"I guess I'll have to learn to hunt and fish," Edward said with a soft chuckle.

"If you want. There are plenty of other options."

White birds flew out from the other shore and were circling above us. They were all sizes—some seagulls, some doves, even a crane.

"Looks like someone came out to meet you," I said to Edward.

He looked around to the shore to see a lone figure standing near the water.

"Who is it?"

"Do you really have to ask?"

Edward smiled.

"No, I guess I don't."

With that, he began rowing anxiously. I struggled to match his pace, but we started veering off course. When the figure waved from the shore, Edward rolled out of the boat and dropped into the lake. The figure ran out into the water and the two swam to meet each other and, together, they would face the next phase of God's experiment on this lonely Island.