6 A Dilemma

Dinner that night was a happy event as Mammy prepared the girls favourite dishes. There was a lot of catching up on each other's lives and conversation floated around the table drifting from one subject to the next yet the one thought that persisted in all their minds was never voiced out, the reason for this unexpected reunion. Jess observed the happy faces around yet there was an underlying state of tension and she wondered if there was more here than what meets the eye.

When the girls retired for the night, Mammy voiced out her concern.

"Why are you hiding Miss May? Sooner or later they will find out. Its better you tell them. They have a right"

"But Mammy, they seem so happy. I can imagine the demons they fought to come back here, but they came just for me.....My beautiful courageous girls, so much pain and hardships surround their young lives and here I am adding one more to their burden. How inhumane of me" Aunt May sobbed out as Mammy supported her.

"Oh Mammy, how ever would I tell them. It would just break their hearts"

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The next morning, the scene that greeted Jess in the kitchen was one straight out of her childhood memories with Mammy making pancakes and toast, as Aunt May nestled her coffee in hand by the window while the girls prepared the table.

"Sorry everyone, I overslept" Jess apologised. "I didn't get a shut eye till past dawn"

"Me neither, so I went out for an early jog" Sarah said.

"Me too" Michelle chimed in. "I guess its because of the jet lag" None of them wanted to acknowledge the real reason behind their lack of sleep.

"Girls, please enjoy your breakfast and when you are done, kindly come over to the study for I have something very important to tell you" Aunt May proclaimed as she abruptly stood up and walk away.

"What is it Mammy?" Sarah asked. " Whats wrong with Aunt May?"

"Finish your breakfast, Miss Sarah. Let Miss May tell you in her time"

"Girls, my guess is we are going to find out the reason behind this reunion" Jess stated.

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The girls gathered round Aunt May's chair in the study with Mammy's presence by the door. The study was always a place where important decisions were made or punishments were meted out for any wrongs in times past. Jess briefly wondered what event spurred this moment.

"Girls, my beautiful girls Sarah, Jess and Michelle, what a joy you all are to me"Aunt May started. "Not a day goes by without my thanking God for your presence in my life. Each of you holds a piece of my heart. I have had my shortcomings but I have tried my best in every word, every act to be the mother that you deserve. I love you all so much. No matter where life takes, always remember I'm watching over you."

Mammy left her place by the door and placed a hand on Aunt May's shoulder as if lending her the strength she seemed so much in need of.

"Girls there is no easy way of saying this.....I'm dying"

"What?" raised three incredulous voices unanimously. Jess had anticipated that something was amissed from the start but never in her wildest dreams did she thought of this.

"I'm dying girls. I have an inoperable tumour in the brain. I may not last through the summer."

"You are jesting right Aunt May? Please stop saying such things. You are scaring us" Sarah said.

"I'm sorry girls " Aunt May sobbed out.

" But....but how can this be? Did you see a doctor?" Michelle cried out.

" And even if its true how can you say its inoperable. How can we accept that? With advancement in medical science , I'm sure we can find a cure" Jess argued. "You could come with us to New York. We could consult experts in the field. I'm sure there is something they could do"

"Jess you forgot, I'm a doctor myself but yes I have consulted neurosurgeons expertised in the field. They came to the same opinion as I have so there is nothing more to be done" Aunt May replied.

"So now what, do we just accept it? This is not fair" Jess cried out.

"Life is rarely fair to anyone of us as you yourself have witnessed" Aunt May pointed out. "But I have accepted that. Besides my life has truly been blessed by the presence of you three. I'm just sorry for adding another burden to your sorrows"

"Don't say that Aunt May. You'll never be a burden to us. Everything we are, it because of you" Sarah said. "We owe you so much. We love you so much."

The girls crowded round Aunt May crying and consoling each other in this hour of need.

Jess felt as if her heart was breaking. They all did. Years ago their world came crashing down once and it was happening all over again yet they were as helpless to stop it then as they were now.

"My one regret would always be what happened 12 years ago" Aunt May said after a while.

"Aunt May please don't think about it. Its all in the past now" Michelle said.

"I know we have skirted round this topic for these many years but this needs to be brought out in the open"Aunt May was determined not to be swayed. She had watch them each over the years, she knew them better than they knew themselves. Thats why she knew that some hurts could never be erased no matter the passage of years.

"I regret the pain you girls went through. I regret letting the town walk all over you. I regret my helplessness for not being able to protect you all. But most of all I regret sending you all away"

"Please Aunt May, don't say that. You did what you thought best for us all. We never blame you for it. We were just grateful that you believed in us when no one else did" Jess entreated.

"Yes, but that does not lessen my guilt. I failed you girls, failed in giving you girls the lives you are entitled of" Aunt May sighed.

"We don't understand Aunt May" Sarah was confused. "How did you fail us?"

"Look at yourselves. You may all be successful but just look how empty your lives are" Aunt May pointed out.

"Michelle, you shine bright as a star. Women envy you while men worship you. Yet you flee from one romance to the next rarely settling down."

"Sarah, you bury yourself in work taking on more projects than you can handle. You captured peoples' momemts in your pictures yet you rarely appreciate yours."

"And Jess, being an author you give life to the characters you penned down, yet why do you shirk to live yours"

No one could utter a word of protest for each knew what Aunt May said was the truth.

"Not one of you, has been able to let go of the past. It haunts you still. Fear controls you because you run from it but it loses its grip if you stare it in the eye. Stop running, face it and learn to let go. Only then could you move on" Aunt May pleaded.

"Don't let the past dictate your actions. Don't let life pass you by, by throwing away any chance of happiness you might have. Just promise me this, will you?"

Aunt May had shown each of them the mirror of their thoughts. Each word she said was right on the mark. They needed to take a good hard look at themselves. Each had a lot on their minds as Aunt May's words kept ringing in their ears.

"We promise, Aunt May, we'll try" they said.

"Thats all I could ask for" Aunt May sighed.