1 I LIKE YOU

After all the struggles I had encountered, I successfully manage to complete this journey. I almost lost faith along the way and almost think that I would fail.

The long walks against the steep mountain and climbing to the top exasperates me but right now seeing the sun dipped below the horizon, where the last gasp of beauty before the death of the day is all worth it and truly praiseworthy.

I smiled, this is what I want. This is the scenery I desire to see. People most likely prefer the enchanting dawn but I would rather love the beauty of the setting sun. I think that it's beauty describe the meaning of new beginnings. Because I believe that with an end there is always a new beginning like how it started with sunrise and end with sunset. There is always an end to every story like how our story starts with " ONCE UPON A TIME " and end with " THE END ". Our story is meant to end for our tale is just a glimpse of the endless pain the fate will bring. Here, I am now looking at this scenery to forget and to renew. Looking at this magnificent sunset and the colours that paint the skies. I always love the colour that plays in the sky whenever the sun goes down. The colour of orange and yellow which means happiness. The ends are just the new start for our joyous moments.

Instantly, the warm breeze of the winds welcomes me. I suddenly felt nostalgic as I felt the familiar warmness it bought. This feeling makes me reminisce our past.

I rapidly shake my head, I shouldn't be thinking of those thoughts and those memories.

" No, Isleen !! This is not the time to recollect some past. " as I said to myself to diminish the thoughts that I suddenly recall and think back of what is my main purpose of having this trek. My friend suggested this trek to relax and I agree to her idea for my heart also need a rest for all the pain and tears. I need to take a break for a moment for I'm starting to use with this torment. I need to forget even just for once to again have the love I have for myself because I slowly forgetting myself and forgetting who I am for I can feel the changes I slowly made to myself for the love I have for him. I have been changing myself to the girl he wants me to be, the girl he truly loved which will never be me. The myth of First Love is so damn true and I curse fate for bringing us together to this, for our story is a mistake. And now we both stuck on this circle of history. You on your past and me, in you who is now my past and this, became our fast time. Both holding on to the history that should just need to remember and not to live with. The past that bought our present and now slowly ruining our future. And I always forget that the two of us is now just a mere history, a past.

I look back at the scenery in front of me which surprised me. This beauty is captivating and truly worth it. The troubling pain of the muscle of my legs, my body that screaming tiredness and the scars I get while climbing this mountain immediately all disappeared and forgotten. For all my attention focus on the scenery were is a wonder to be held. I'm so mesmerized by the alluring and magnificent landscape I witnessing right now that I had not noticed how I suddenly raised both of my arms to embrace this warmth I perceived.

I let out a sigh of relief.

" Freedom " I said and again I let out a sigh not of relief but now of despair.

I always do envy the people who live with no regrets. Those who are living with nothing of "what if's" problems. And I always do really admire people who fight for want they want, unconcerned of the criticism, the obstacles and the problems it may bring. I really do wish I was one of those people with that kind of perspective in Life whereas they love their life and just enjoy it. They simply just go with the flow of Life not thinking and anticipating of what the future holds. Simply enjoy it.

Ever since I was always that kind of person who always thinks about the future. The effects of my previous actions towards my future, the decision I will make and made, and lastly the future itself in which slowly became a bigger problem to my Life for I slowly turn to a person that can't move forward and stuck with the past and live with full of regrets and "what if's". Those what if's that always keep on hunting me. The " what if's" that I wish I never knew from the start and take all the risks. For since the day I met him I wanted to give myself wholly to him because I know to myself that he is worth it. Worth the risk, worth the pain, and worth to love. But " what if's" became a thing to my brain to repeatedly practiced.

Those "what ifs" that became a part of our story.

The " What If ".

" What if I meet you ? "

" What if we became friends ? "

" What if I become close to you ? "

" What if we became best friends ? "

"What if I'm starting to have a feelings for you ? "

"What if this thing I have is not for friendship anymore ? "

" What if I truly fall for you ? "

" What if I distance myself to you ? "

" What if our friendship ruin ? "

" What if I confess to you ? "

" What if I LIKE YOU ? "

" What if I don't really like you but instead I LOVE YOU ? "