6 Munchkinery

Finishing one last time as I tried to press a baby right into my new luscious lover, I pulled out and rose ready for a new day. A quick application of magic and a fresh charcoal suit saw off the signs of my night spent ravaging Rias. I looked over and saw the poor girl's condition, sprawled as I left her as her consciousness hadn't survived too long into the sexual warfare I enacted on her. Not to be confused with sexual violence.

One is a skillful, tactical, and indefatigable campaign of pleasure on a willing partner and the other is a violent act of domination against an unwilling victim. Not to be confused.

I chuckled at the sight of my seed trailing out of her stretched holes. Never had I seen a more divisive and misunderstood female lead. Rias Gremory is a naïve product of her upbringing, prone to hyperbole and fancy, and never one to look a gift horse in the mouth. I've seen arguments about her from her work ethic to her moral compass and all of them are laughable.

Yes, the acquisition of her peerage is very suspect and I believe wholeheartedly that Sirzechs was more than willing to let bad situations play out under his gaze to ensure that Rias would simply waltz into a powerful pickup she could easily turn into a fanatically loyal peerage member, but the girl herself - who was very much a girl when all of this was happening - wasn't someone with the reach or sight capable of manipulating the events that created her mad house of a peerage. To her it was all lucky breaks.

She didn't even manipulate the situation with Issei despite all the haters shrieking about how she purposefully got their hero killed so she could make him a Devil no muss no fuss. Those tend to be the same people that think she is an absolute fool for not training hard to defeat Raiser. She is either a mastermind or a fool, but she can't be both.

And the answer is that she is just naïve. Why would she train to become stronger when devils do not train to become stronger. Who in her life would she have ever seen training. Sirzechs was literally born more powerful than anyone had ever been, levitating and releasing the power of destruction at birth. Same with Falbium and Ajuka. They were all born with incredibly special powers. That cocksucker Ajuka says that he was so in love with equations when he was a kid that he created a magic power that lets him control other people's magic better than they can.

Who the fuck was she suppose to pick up the idea of training to become stronger from? Her reject pariah cousin?

Get some goddamn perspective people, she is a naturally formed character encountered in the wild, not an insert grind happy try hard.

And who wouldn't enslave Issei, the guy should be on a sex offenders registry and be forced to wear an ankle monitor to be allowed amidst the public. Dude is straight up lame and if he was pulling his schtick on any of my daughters the guy would have an unfortunate meeting between his genitals and an angle grinder with a wire wheel.

Dude deserves to be a slave for being so incredibly lame and so incredibly annoying.

Maybe this is just me being so low of fuel having shot everything except my soul into the buxom redhead last night. Nothing Babcia's potato pancakes can't solve.

I found the little old lady next to a stack of said cakes as tall as she was.

"So the steroid peepee isn't a problem after all." she smirked as she loaded me up a plate.

"What did I say, Babcia? I had too much to begin with." I grinned as I started eating the pancakes, eggs, and sausages she prepared for breakfast.

"Will we be seeing the girl some time today?" she asked as she ate her own food slowly.

"I don't know." I laughed, "I sent her to the shadow realm."

"Lovely." she shook her head, "And what will you be doing while your bride is recovering?"

I grinned, "What I always do Babcia. The Lord's work."

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"Who are you?" the sunken little boy on the hospital bed asked as I sat in the nearby chair.

"Diodora Astaroth." I smiled, "A Devil come to you with an offer."

"My mother says not to take things from strangers." The boy coughed, "But what's the worst you can do to me, make me hurt more than the cancer? Kill me faster?"

"I like your attitude, kid." I grinned as I spun a syringe full of a glowing orange serum between my fingers, "I have in my hand a reprieve from illness and death, but a Devil never gives things away for free. Do you know why?"

The boy shook his head as he looked at the syringe. Not with hope, but with a general interest. Like at least something weird is happening today to distract him briefly from his impending doom.

"You see, boy, a Devil gains strength from completing contracts with people." I explained, "The strength of the person's desire, the difficulty of the contract, the agreed upon price. All of these things affect how much power a Devil gains from contracting. Now where would a Devil with a curious little serum like this find people with strong desires willing to pay a high price for a miracle?"

"The hospital." The boy answered.

"You are very smart." I chuckled, "Now I am going to offer this serum to you for the price of the back half of your life."

"What does that mean?" The boy asked.

"The lifespan of mankind is one hundred and twenty years. Because of poor choices or luck, no one ever lives that long, but you all have that amount of lifeforce." I answered, "Now, By taking the back half of your life, you would die on your sixtieth birthday of heart failure, but in return I will inject you with this handy dandy retrovirus I made many decades ago. It will go into your body and kill any illnesses, cancers, and diseases it finds for as long as you live. You will never be sick again. You just have to agree."

"Just do it, weirdo." the boy told me in typical Eastern European world weariness.

"Offer, consideration, and acceptance." I smiled as I plunged the syringe into his heart and injected him with a stealthy piece of magitech that would deliver him his miracle.

With my half of the bargain complete, I felt the back half of his life transfer to me and boy oh boy was that a heady rush. So much of it would have slipped through my fingers if not for my Absorption trait, but with it I held on to every last second of life and every drop of Devil Energy produced by the completed contract. Handing a miracle to a dying kid in return for half his life created a substantial amount of power for me, bolstering my Ultimate Class power enough to prove that contracting would be my best source of stable improvement. I can't just hope someone hands me a King Piece after all.

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I returned home from a day of doing the Lord's work exhausted. Despite how simple it was to deliver people from death, I had to work a rather subtle and expansive memory charm that would worm its way through many people's heads causing them to believe the boy and all the other people I contracted with were admitted to the hospital for injuries. I then had to alter all the paperwork involved.

It was tedious work, but I didn't want anyone hearing about a sudden rush of miraculous healings. I may not be afraid of anything, but I am not stupid.

Before entering the home, I flashed a white aura over my body, my greatest gain of the day. Augmenting my vitality with over a thousand years of lifeforce caused me to easily form Touki. The white aura is basically ki from Dragon Ball, minus the flying and energy blasts. It strengthens the body, increasing strength, speed, and durability, and can be used to enhance weapons and even shouts, turning yells into disrupting attacks. It can also swat magic away, making it the ultimate power for close range fighters.

Normally, Touki is unlocked by those who train in Senjutsu, and those who grind away in physical training for years, but it is the utilization of life force - a resource I have a great excess of. I'd need to train to gain any kind of finesse with the power, but I have no problem with brute forcing the issue. There is no shortage of people under sixty dying, and humans are a self-sustaining resource. So long as they don't nuke themselves into oblivion, I can continue to farm lifeforce from them, extending my own life indefinitely and providing me with more and more power for my Touki.

I really love being in such an easy world to power up in.