14 Querulous Qadr

I wake up. It's dark and I don't remember anything much. After a moment I turn to my side. She is gone. Nahla is nowhere in the car. Was it all a dream I wonder. I sit there confused for a while. I look out of the window. For a moment, I see the butcher in a black rubber suit. A scream escapes my lips.

"Mom! You scared me." I yell as soon as my mum opens the door.

"Where were you ?" She asks scowling.

She is wearing a black abaya and leaning towards me. I don't know what excuse to come up with this time.

"Dad doesn't know. I'll let you off the hook just this once" She slams the door at my face and walks to our house.

It's 1 in the morning when I reach my room. A good berating from my mum is always refreshing. I'm not supposed to step out without notifying her where I'm headed to. The annoying part - I'm supposed to come back by the promised time. I let out a mourning sound and flop on my bed.

I only saw Cairo once. His issue is still treated like an elephant in the room. We act like nothing happened. It's about time I confront him. I don't know whether he is sleeping or not. I toss and turn in my bed for the next hour. I can't fall asleep. I stand up in determination to find out what's really going on.

I softly knock at Cairo's door. If he is sleeping and is not going to open the door I would just-

"Assalamu Alaikum (peace be to you)" Cairo greets me.

"Walaikum Asalam" I greet loudly.

"You wanna talk about something?" He asks.

"Uh no!" I say. He reaches for the door and tries shutting it. I put my leg in between and stop the door mid-way.

"Nuh-uh" I shake my head.

"What do you want ?" He seethes.

"Let's talk about it. Get your frustration out. You'll get to sleep." I try to sound convincing. He just narrows his eyes.

"Get in." After he lets me in he slams the door.

"I'm a good samaritan. I'm here to help ya" I say and sit on his bed. I take skittles from my hoodie pocket and pop one into my mouth.

"Look she is not just a divorcee but she also has a kid. She is a single mom. I wanna help her somehow. She seems to be smiling but is she really happy?" He asks me in a solicitous way.

I shrug my shoulder. Honestly, this was not something I expected. I thought she was around her twenties. I can't guess her age right now.

"Haste makes Waste" I tell him in all honesty. He is young and is more likely to make the stupidest decision ever. He needs to take care of her. Not just her but also her child. That's not an easy task.

"Why?" He asks folding his arms.

"You need to earn that's why" I point it out to him.

He thinks for a while.

"I don't think she needs financial support" He states.

"Oh really? What support are you gonna give her Mister Cairo? Oh please enlighten me" I mock him purposely.

He sits heavily on his bean bag and leans back. "I don't know she needs me." He says.

"Did she say that to you?" I'm tired. This guy is unbelievable. He thinks everyone's life depends on him.

"NooooOOOOARGHHH" He lets out a sharp outcry. I suddenly move forward and stuff some candy into his mouth.

He chokes for a while and then starts chewing it like a kid. Both of us have gone through bite the bullet phase of our life and survived. Most of the time we were on survival mode rather than living. I'm sure he would get past it in no time.

I stand next to him and look him in the eyes. "Don't force yourself or her. If it's meant to happen no one can stop it from happening. If it's not meant then no one can make it happen. Remember that." I explain to him. Qadr (destiny) is what we revolve around. We are often querulous about qadr. But it is true. Only what is bond to happen can happen.

It's time for him to ponder on that fact. I leave his room and close the door. I lean my back on the door. Maybe they make a good pair. I can propel him to go ahead but who can guarantee success. We can only let time decide. Or the time will heal him. I traverse to my room silently.

I think of Nahla. That's when I remember I left my revolver and my phone back in my car. I grab the keys and clumsily walk to my car. If my parents catch me mid-way I'm dead meat. I open the passenger seat and grab my phone. An envelope seems to hover down. I catch it. The same " :) " is handwritten on it. I tear it open.

Zee! I finally get to see you. I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. I never thought we would shake hands mid-air. It was amusing. We should have been officially introduced during the banquet but Qadr, We get to meet in a much better circumstance. I would love to see you again. You can contact me anytime you want using this number +358 13071902. I give you the liberty to contact me whenever you want. Hey! Nobody gets this privilege from me. Feel special yet?

With love,

Nahla Adyan

I stare at the note for as long as possible. Finally, I'm making a friend. Finally, I get to heal my soul. I can hang out with her and share with her some of my secrets. I don't have to dwell on my past anymore. I re-read the note once more. If only she knew how it makes me feel. If only she knew how much she is setting me free. I smile and walk to my room to sleep peacefully.