1 The Gruesome Ending of Kebab Girl

A petite girl ran across the street with a resume in hand, her short, dirty blond hair floating up in the mid-winter breeze. Stopping in front of a steaming kiosk, she greedily inhaled the aroma of freshly cooked delicacies.

"A classic Shish Kebab please!" She yelled over the traffic, handing over a five dollar note. Although she was slightly tight on money, she wasn't willing to skimp on food. After all, food is the essence of life, to live is to eat. Besides, Elise is sure she would manage to get a job today.

Standing at the kiosk waiting for her kebabs when she was suddenly rammed into by a motorbike. Although this was still tolerable, she was unfortunately sent flying in the direction of the kebabs.

Seeing the metal skewers approaching rapidly, she could only lament how she never got to eat the Shish Kebabs she paid for.

'Is this the end? Will I never achieve the food empire of my dreams? What about eating all the delicacies of the world?'

Those were the last thoughts that ran through her head before her brains became the next kebabs.

Soon, a thread on a dark forum was created. It contained a video of a traffic accident with the caption Gruesome Death: Kebab girl. The video instantly went viral within the dark forums with Elise marked down in history as 'Kebab Girl'. This, however, had nothing to do with her.

After being skewered like a porcupine, her soul peeled away from her body and floated towards the sky. Floating towards reincarnation, she felt a strange sense of fulfilment as if her life was meaningful and well lived. Perhaps this is a good ending, she thought to herself contently, I've lived a good life, this is enough.

Suddenly, an invisible force plucked her from her place in the line to reincarnation and brought her out to a strange space of boundless darkness. "Ah, thank god. I almost lost an interesting one there. Just in time."

Hearing this strange disembodied voice, she was awoken from her trance like state. Cold sweat covered her ethereal being as she thought back to the strange emotions she had felt.

Of course she wasn't content, she was barely 22, not even old, that wasn't nearly enough life lived. Most importantly, she hadn't achieved her dream of building a food empire yet, nor had she eaten all the delicacies on her food bucket list. The brainwashing magic of reincarnation is too strong D:

Soon enough, the happy and carefree voice sounded again. "Hey there, little one."

Looking up towards the boundless space around her, not that she could tell if it was up or anything. 'God, is that you?!'

There was a moment of silence before a gasping laughter boomed in her ethereal ears. "Ahahaha, you sure are a humorous little one." The voice commented in-between laughter, although Elise didn't see what was funny. Instead, she thought he was the odd one.

"What you said isn't correct, but it isn't wrong either. I am Nathaniel, the god of Eating. I'm just a small god, nothing compared to gods like the sun god or anything. I'm just the god of Eating, I was a human once. Then I ate too much, and I accidently ate something divine or whatever, and this happened. Isn't that funny?" The god rambled on in joy as if he hadn't talked to anyone in centuries. Elise could do nothing but float there and listen, annoyance quickly growing in her soul.

"I mean, I'm such a small god I don't even matter. Even the god of cooking or the god of food is way bigger than me. Like, Yale, the god of cooking, he was a human too who accidentally cooked something really fancy and became a god. He's really small too but way bigger than me. His cooking is super good, if you become a god, you can try. But like, you're not a god so you can't, ahahaha.

Having listened to him ramble on for half an hour already, Elise wondered if he'd ever get to the point and send her on. Finally, to her dismay, he reached the point after more than an hour of talking and laughing alone.

"So yeah, here's the thing little one. There's like this competition between all the gods, cause there's like a million of us. The top god, sun god, decided to retire from presidency and the moon god, his wife, is the new president. Which is great and all, gender equality right? But like, not everyone wants it. Especially Steve, the god of sexism, not Steve the god of potatoes, don't get it wrong, Steve is all for is, he doesn't care, he just wants to plant potatoes and build a potato empire. Like, even steve is becoming a bigger god now. But Steve, on the other hand, would have none of it." Nathaniel chuckled to himself.

He took a short breathe before continuing his speech, "So Steve, with the support of a bunch of others, brought it up to Sol, the sun god. And so now we have a competition. We all have to select a champion, basically a representative, to battle for us. Not like actual fighting. The rules are kinda complicated, like, all the champions become a dungeon master and we have the time limit of 1000 years, pretty short time if you ask me, for you mortals to survive and fight. The strongest dungeon in the end becomes the next president. In fact, any dungeon that survives will become a mid god, which is pretty cool. There are only 99 high gods and those guys haven't changed in so long, I don't think they've ever changed. So yeah, you're quite an interesting one. Probably my most fanatic follower, not that I have many followers, anyway. Since the timing is right, I chose you. Good luck, as long as you survive 1000 years, we all good."

Seeing how his speech finally concluded, Elise rubbed her ears and got ready. Although his rambling is horribly annoying and his grammar sounded like a five year old's, the information he provided was quite interesting and important. Elise hadn't just been floating there and zoning out, she had actually listened and noted down key information.

Firstly, Nathaniel was a small god, a very small god, and she had somehow been his follower. No surprises there, she often prayed to the god of eating, not knowing he existed.

Secondly, there are millions of gods, including a selected few mid gods and high gods.

Thirdly, Steve is very sexist and created a lot of trouble

Lastly, she has to survive a thousand years against a bunch of other blood thirsty dungeons.

Sorting through the information in her head, she could only sigh to herself. Hiding for 1000 years is too difficult, but building up a magical dungeon that could beat her rivals? That was too difficult as well. According to Nathaniel, he was only a very small god, that means there are huge gods like Luna, the moon goddess who she would have to fight. That is… highly improbably but she could at least defend herself, right?

Wait actually, having thought this much, she wondered when the reincarnation thing will begin?