36 This Venerable One Has Probably Lost His Mind

>>mature content(?)

Without thinking, Chu Wanning reached out to steady him. As the two of them stood plastered against each other in the warm spring water, Mo Ran felt a spark go through his entire body, goosebumps crawling up his skin.

Even though he'd already held a near-naked Chu Wanning at the Red Lotus Pavilion back then, the circumstances at the time had been dire. There wasn't any time to dwell on the situation, so he hadn't thought much of it.

But right now, with one hand against Chu Wanning's chest and the other unconsciously supporting his Shizun's waist, their legs tangled together under the water, with the spring making their skin feel warmer and more slippery, Mo Ran's head short-circuited entirely.

He, to Chu Wanning…...

Without even doing anything but touching the other's waist…...

His body reacted with the intensity of a rushing river.

"Sh-shizun, I——"

As he frantically tried to get up and away, his red-hot lower parts made contact with the other person in the struggle.

Chu Wanning's eyes suddenly widened, his beautiful face stricken with horror, and he backed away immediately. At the same time, the droplet of water that had been clinging to his eyelashes dripped down into his eye. He grew more and more agitated, squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing at them, but he didn't have a bath towel to wipe the water with.

"Shizun, use, use mine."

Mo Ran's face burned red, mortified to absolute death. Still trying his best to pretend that nothing was wrong, he used his own towel to wipe the water droplets off of Chu Wanning's face for him.

When Chu Wanning finally opened his phoenix eyes again, he still had a baffled look of distress on his face, with a hint of panic underneath. But it only lasted a moment before he quickly forced himself to calm down. He pretended he hadn't felt anything at all and said, hoarsely: "The fragrance bar, pass it to me."

"Oh…...oh okay."

Mo Ran crabwalked stiffly to the edge of the pool and picked up the box of fragrance bars sitting on the bank.

"What scent does, does Shizun want?"

"Whatever."

Mo Ran's head swam in a daze. After staring blankly into the box for a long time, he turned back and said sincerely, "There's no scent here called 'Whatever.'"

"..."

Chu Wanning sighed heavily. "Plum blossom, haitang."

"Okay."

Mo Ran took two fragrance bars and handed them to Chu Wanning.

As soon as their fingertips touched, there was another burst of tremors.

No matter how badly he wanted to, it was impossible to shake off all those memories from the past.

If this was in the past, he'd already be fervently tangled with him at the side of the pool by now. A vision appeared unbidden before his eyes, of Chu Wanning half-kneeling on the ground as he endured his fiery, ferocious passions, eyes half-lidded and body trembling uncontrollably as he took it, but still got screwed until climax washed over him...

Mo Ran was unable to stand it anymore; those carnal desires made his eyes see red. He didn't dare to look at Chu Wanning at all. He felt that even looking at Shi Mei right now would be safer than looking at Chu Wanning.

How…...could this be...

How could this happen?

He quickly finished washing himself and, taking advantage of the fact that the other three were still soaking in the pool, Mo Ran said some vague words to the effect of him being sleepy and that he'd turn in first.

Once he got back to his room, he bolted and locked the door.

Mo Ran couldn't take it anymore, and moved to relieve himself. He didn't want to think about Chu Wanning's appearance at a time like this. He'd even rather soil Shi Mei's pure image; at least that would be easier for his confused heart to accept.

But neither his body nor his mind wanted to listen, and every sight that flashed before his eyes was that of him and Chu Wanning in the past, neck to neck as they sought pleasure in one another. It was like the floodgates had opened tonight, all those torrid memories came rushing back into his mind in a frenzy, along with wave after wave of trembles.

He treated himself almost roughly, as though he was on top of that man's body, and on the very edge of ruin, he threw his head back as if he refused to accept it, yet his breaths came out in muddled gasps and pants.

He breathed out the name without realizing it.

"Wanning..."

Calling this name, he let out a stifled grunt, trembling slightly as he came without holding anything back, covering his palm in sticky wetness…...

Once he finished, Mo Ran leaned over to rest his forehead against the cold wall. His eyes were awash with confusion.

Shame, guilt, loathing, arousal.

He never expected he'd still have such strong reactions to Chu Wanning even after being reborn.

He was suddenly filled with disgust toward himself.

Since he never attained Shi Mei in his past life, he vented all his passion into other frivolous relationships. But even though he made it seem like passionate love, it didn't really mean anything to him.

After the candlelight was extinguished, it was all just sex, all the same no matter who it was with.

Even the way his heart moved towards Rong Jiu was just because he bore some resemblance to Shi Mei.

But the kinds of feelings he had toward Chu Wanning were completely different. He realized, as he thought about it harder, that even though they weren't doing anything sexual, the intense pleasure he got from it was unlike anything he was ever able to feel with those prostitutes. It wasn't just physical, and…...

He refused to dwell on it.

He was in love with Shi Mei, always had been, and always will be too. His feelings absolutely wouldn't change.

After repeating this to himself a few times, Mo Ran calmly slowed his breathing, frowned, and then squeezed his eyes shut.

He felt anxious, annoyed, and aggrieved all at once.

He didn't want this.

In matters of lust, he couldn't help but think about Chu Wanning. When the lust subsided, he didn't want to think of anything to do with Chu Wanning, whether it was a hair on his head or a fleeting look.

He frantically thought to himself, almost to the point of paranoia, that the one he likes, the one he loves deeply…...

…...is Shi Mei…...

Chu Wanning's mind was in the same state of distress.

Totally unexpectedly, he had seen and, moreover, felt Mo Ran's desire. The young man's body was already quite mature, already much too overwhelming, hard and so hot as to be scalding when excited, like hot iron waiting to be forged.

Even though Chu Wanning quickly schooled his face into a blank calm, and refused to bring anything up afterwards, the encounter had made his head go numb and filled him with disbelief.

To make matters worse, his own body had reacted too.

Fortunately, he had a thin face and so always wore a bathrobe even in hot springs. It covered his whole body and no one saw anything, otherwise he would really never be able to show his face again.

But why would Mo Ran...

As he lay in bed that night, he ruminated quietly for hours. He dared not even imagine——that, maybe, Mo Ran also liked him.

That kind of thought was entirely too delusional and shameful.

Even the cautious thought of "maybe Mo Ran also likes——"

The word "me" didn't even have time to surface in his mind before Chu Wanning furiously pinched himself. That pair of clear, bright phoenix eyes flickered as if trying to hide.

He didn't even dare to entertain the whole thought.

Besides, his personality was harsh, he was quick to hit people, his words were poisonous and he had a bad temper, he was nowhere near as beautiful as Shi Mei in appearance, and not to mention he was not young anymore. Even if Mo Ran liked men, he wouldn't be blind enough to like him.

On the outside, he was aloof and haughty.

But on the inside, the truth was that he'd been treated coldly by others for so long, been feared for so long, that as he walked this long and lonely road, his opinion of himself had slowly crumbled into dust.

They woke up the next day.

Mo Ran and Chu Wanning met in the hallway of the inn, both holding secrets in their hearts. Both of them looked at each other, but neither deigned to speak first.

In the end, it was Mo Ran who first carried on as if all was normal. He smiled toward Chu Wanning and said: "Shizun."

Chu Wanning was relieved; he really didn't know how to deal with this situation. Seeing as Mo Ran chose not to mention anything that happened yesterday, he was perfectly willing to go along with it. He nodded once, lightly.

"Since we're already up, we should go wake up Shi Mei as well. After packing up real quick, we can depart for Dawning Peak."

Dawning Peak was covered in snow all year round, and exceedingly cold. Even for a cultivator, it would be difficult to endure such cold weather. Chu Wanning went to the tailor to buy winter cloaks and gloves for the disciples, so that they could wear them when the temperature dropped.

The shopkeeper smoked her pipe and smiled, lips drawn up in a bright red and welcoming customers. When she saw Mo Ran she said, "What a handsome young fellow! Look at this black cape with a golden dragon on it; the embroidery is of the highest quality. You see the light in its eyes? It took me more than three months to complete it!"

Mo Ran gave an embarrassed laugh. "Miss's words are very sweet, but I'm just going into the mountains to seek a weapon. There's no need for me to wear something so formal and ornate."

Seeing that this prospect failed, the shopkeeper instead turned to Shi Mei. "Oh, this young prince is beautiful beyond compare, even more lovely than the most beautiful girl in this city! Sir, if you would allow me, this red butterfly and peony cloak would suit you perfectly. How about you give it a try?"

Shi Mei forced a smile. "Miss, aren't those women's clothes?"

Xue Meng hated shopping for clothes, so he refused to come along and just waited in place. Chu Wanning chose a black cloak with purple lining for him, with white rabbits embroidered around the brim.

The shopkeeper said, "Sir, this cloak is a bit small for you. It would be better suited for a teenager."

"It's for my disciple," Chu Wanning said expressionlessly.

"Oh, ooh!" The shopkeeper realized her mistake and quickly smiled. "What a great teacher."

It may have been the first time Chu Wanning had ever been called a "great teacher." He went still, and his face betrayed nothing, but his steps were out of sync when he walked away, with arm and leg on the same side moving together for quite a few steps.

In the end, Mo Ran chose a light gray cloak, Shi Mei a moonlit-white one, and Chu Wanning a plain white one with dark purple lining. After they made their purchases, they went back to Xue Meng.

When Xue Meng saw his cloak, his eyes widened.

"What is it?" Chu Wanning said, not understanding his reaction.

"It, it's nothing."

When Chu Wanning walked far enough away that Xue Meng thought he couldn't hear, he looked at the lining on the cloak and muttered, "Purple? I don't like purple."

He didn't expect to hear Chu Wanning's voice saying coldly, "So much nonsense. If you won't wear it you can climb up naked."

"......"

They leisurely traveled to the end of the road, and the four of them reached the foot of Dawning Peak before nightfall.

Dawning Peak was rich in spiritual power, and home to many beasts and monsters. Even cultivators would not dare to rush in carelessly unless they were significantly strong.

Since Chu Wanning was there, though, they didn't have to worry about things like that. Chu Wanning conjured three haitang petals from thin air, giving them spirit-repelling properties and tucking them into the waist sashes of his three disciples. "Let's go," he said.

Mo Ran looked out at the peaks hidden in the night sky, like a huge, ancient beast crouching deathly still, and a myriad of emotions poured into his heart.

In the past, it was on Dawning Peak where he declared to the sun and moon, ghosts and demons, that he, Mo Ran, was not satisfied with the current cultivation world, and would instate himself as the new ruler.

It was the same year in which, at Dawning Peak, he had taken a wife and a concubine.

He still remembered the face of that wife, Song Qiutong, a real unparalleled beauty. From certain angles, she looked very much like Shi Mei.

He was not a person who cared much for etiquette or honor, and didn't even bother with those tedious rites of marriage. At that time, he just took Song Qiutong's delicate hand, pulled the red-veiled woman up a flight of thousands of stairs, and they walked for over an hour.

Eventually, Song Qiutong's feet hurt too much to walk.

Mo Ran had a bad temper, he lifted her veil and was about to yell at her.

But, under the light of the moon, Song Qiutong's sorrowful eyes made her look just like that person who had long since passed.

The angry words died in his mouth and, after drawing a shaky breath, he finally said:

"Shi Mei, I'll carry you."

In terms of seniority, if Song Qiutong had been his peer, she would indeed have been his shi-mei[13]. So she only paused slightly at this kind of address, reasoning that since Mo Ran had wiped out the entire Rufeng Sect, it was naturally now part of Sisheng Peak. That being the case, it wasn't like it was wrong for him to call her shi-mei, so she just smiled and said, "Okay."

And so, for the last several thousand steps, Taxian-Jun, Master of the Mortal Realm, Ruler of the Shadows, steadily, one foot in front of the other, carried his red-adorned bride to the peak.

He lowered his head and watched their oddly shaped shadows moving on the ground, overlapping with each other.

He laughed a little, and said through a dry throat, "Shi Mei, I'm the Master of the Mortal Realm now. From this day on, no one will be able to hurt you."

The woman on his back didn't know what to say to this, hesitated a little, and finally just said "Mm."

The voice was soft. Perhaps because it was too soft, it was hard to distinguish it as a feminine voice, and the tone was vague.

Not a soul could see Mo Ran's face as his eyes grew red. He murmured, "I'm sorry, I've kept you waiting for this day too long."

Song Qiutong thought that Mo Ran was saying he'd had feelings for her for a long time, so she replied softly, "Husband..."

This woman's voice was clear and crisp, like morning dew, pleasing to hear.

But Mo Ran's feet suddenly slammed to a halt.

"What's wrong?"

"...Nothing."

As he started to walk again, Mo Ran's voice grew firm again and lost its hoarseness.

After a pause, he said, "In the future, it's better if you call me A-Ran."

Song Qiutong was caught off guard, and didn't quite dare to call Taxian-Jun this. "Husband, this... I'm afraid…..."

Mo Ran's voice grew harsh and violent. "If you don't listen, I'll throw you off of this mountain!"

"A, A-Ran!" Song Qiutong quickly changed her speech. "A-Ran, I was wrong."

Mo Ran said nothing else.

He lowered his head again, silently walking forward.

The shadows on the ground were still just shadows.

Looking back at it, it was easy to see that it, really, was just a shadow.

The rose-tinted things he'd wanted to see were all fake.

In the end, what he had was nothing more than an illusion.

It was all in vain.

"Shi Mei."

"Mn?" The person walking beside Mo Ran turned his head and asked. The sounds of shifting leaves, rustling grass, and the light of the moon all reflected onto this person's face. "A-Ran, what is it?"

"Are you…...tired from walking?" Mo Ran glanced at Chu Wanning and Xue Meng who were walking in front of them and whispered, "If you're tired, how about I give you a piggy-back ride?"

Before Shi Mei could reply, Chu Wanning turned his head to look back at them.

He glared coldly at Mo Ran and said, "Are Shi Mingjing's legs broken? Does he need you to carry him?"

"Shizun," Shi Mei said hurriedly, "A-Ran was just joking, don't be angry."

Chu Wanning frowned, eyebrows drawing together into a severe expression. "Ridiculous. What do I have to angry about."

As soon as he finished speaking, he whirled back around with a flick of his sleeve.

Mo Ran: "........."

Shi Mei: "........."

"Shizun seems mad..."

"You know how he is," Mo Ran whispered into Shi Mei's ear. "His own heart is smaller than a needle tip, cold-blooded and heartless. Can't even stand to see other people doing good things for their peers."

He wrinkled his nose and lowered his voice even further, concluding, "Seriously the worst."

Suddenly, Chu Wanning's voice rang out from in front of them. "Mo Weiyu, if you say one more word, you'll find yourself thrown down the mountain!"

Mo Ran silenced himself as if in obedience, but secretly grinned over at Shi Mei and mouthed, 'See, what'd I say?'