81 Taking Action - 27.2
The moment the mist disappeared, Wu Jun Qiao's consciousness felt as if it was submerged in ice, enveloped by an unfathomable darkness.
As if opening his eyes and using his divine sense to see, he couldn't help but internally grimace at what he saw.
Right now, his soul had seeped and stealthily infiltrated into Fan Zhu Xia's mind and based from what he observed so far, her state was far worse than he thought.
Initially, he thought that Fan Zhu Xia was just mentally exhausted and might have pushed her body a little bit too far but from what he could see, that wasn't just the case.
Since it wasn't just Wu Jun Qiao's divine sense that infiltrated Fan Zhu Xia's innermost thoughts and psyche but also his soul, this in turn enabled him on sensing the state of her soul as well by using his own to attune and resonate with hers and based on what he's feeling, her soul was incredibly weak.
Although this state of her soul can be caused by a variety of reasons, ranging from low cultivation, lingering effects or damage from soul-based attacks, the most common which almost all cultivators can suffer from, albeit varying degrees of seriousness is caused by an inner demon.
Right now, all that he could feel and sensefrom her soul was an unimaginable frailty and despair giving him a sense of impending crisis as if one wrong move can cause her soul irrevocable damage.
This almost threw Wu Jun Qiao into a state of panic before he calmed down and tried to make sense of what caused Fan Zhu Xia's soul to come to such a wretched state. Obviously, losing her qi while pushing her mental state and soul to finish the treatment was not the only contributors to this.
Now all he could hope to do was to find a strand of Fan Zhu Xia's consciousness that he can latch on first before he makes any more moves.
Of course this is a monumental task in itself since all he can sense right now was nothing but a swirling, suffocating abyss-like darkness.
Meanwhile, unaware that someone has infiltrated her mind and soul's innermost sanctum, Fan Zhu Xia only felt a sluggish heaviness weighing down on her as if threatening to swallow her consciousness back into that dark oblivion that she had struggled to get out from.
As she was trying to orient herself, her head was struck with such an overwhelming pain that made her double over in attempt to catch her breath as she breathe in frantic gasps.
Struggling to open her eyes, Fan Zhu Xia saw nothing but dark shadows enveloping her and throwing her surroundings into darkness without a speck of light in sight.
Before she could even wonder where she was, her mind was bombarded with numerous images.
Images that she tried to not think about and push to the very back of her mind.
Images that brought her nothing but excruciating pain.
Images that would always and forever remain as the cause of her countless nightmares.
Images that no matter how hard she tried to run away from would always haunt her and never leave her.
Only because this images were facts that couldn't be ignored and changed.
For a long time she tried to numb the pain by trying to drown it away with drinking yet now it sucked her in, not letting her escape as it forced her to relive it over and over again.
Voices shouted in her head.
Drowning out her thoughts.
Only leaving the dark ones behind.
The memories of that night.
The words that man said.
The things that man implied.
Her imagination filling in the blanks so vividly that it was as if she was there when it happened.
When her whole clan and family was wiped out.
Pushing her to the brink and tipping her over as countless scenarios of what happened to everyone she once knew crashed over her again and again, drowning her.
Leaving her floundering as it submerged her whole, making her feel nothing but an icy coldness as a storm of emotions hit her.
At the back of her mind, she knew what was happening.
She knew that she was suffering from a backlash which resulted in her inner demon acting out and spiralling out of her control yet she did nothing to stop it.
She knew that whatever she's seeing isn't entirely true but her guilt prevented her from fighting against it just because of one thought.
What if what she was seeing really happened?
And so she let herself lose herself in it.
Lose herself within the illusions caused by her inner demons and made herself witness everything as if a spectator.
Starting with that night.
His scream.
His order to leave.
Her utter weakness making her helpless to even help.
She rationalized to herself that her running away was due to her doing what was told and preventing herself from being used as a way to blackmail the others and maybe even lure some attackers away but what if it wasn't really that?
Seeing it all over again made her think of how spineless her actions were.
She wasn't brave.
Nor was she strong.
No. She wasn't any of that.
She was a coward.
A selfish and craven person who only lived at the expense of other people's lives.
Pathetic.
Slowly, her inner demon gained more and more influence on her mind and psyche.
With her guilt and despair feeding it, it grew stronger.
And she didn't do anything to stop it.
It was as if it wasn't even her own life that was in danger but someone else's and she's just a mere passerby who was just enjoying the show.
And enjoy she did.
It wasn't because she was a masochist.
No. She was nothing like that.
It was because even if this inner demon of hers was doing its best to consume her, it still gave her the very thing she longed for the most.
A chance to see her friends and family again.
As if an unseen phantom in the sky, Fan Zhu Xia watched from overhead the memory of the last time she was at Mystic Terra Mountain.
It was when she left to journey throughout the lands to gain experience, only accompanied by her group of guards and Ning Jun Qiao who was her father's and uncle's student.
Immersed in what she was watching, she didn't even realize the silent tears that unceasingly fell as she watched with rapt attention as if afraid of missing anything.
She watched as their group left under everyone's well wishes of safe travels despite their worries.
She saw herself visit numerous places as she laughed and bonded with everyone while Ning Jun Qiao watched over her with a smile that never left his handsome face despite the times she caused trouble.
She watched and watched until she was pulled away from the scenes of her fondest memories to rewatch that fateful night.
The night she ran away from the group of guards who had become her close friends due to their long time together when Ning Jun Qiao told her to run and leave them.
She watched as she saw her figure jump off the cliff and get swallowed by the raging river below. The rapids pulling down any traces of her into its cold, harsh depth and still she watched emotionless and numb.
Instead she stared at the figures left by the edge of the cliff top, imprinting their faces and features deep into her mind as burning rage and hatred filled her.
Fan Zhu Xia then felt the increasingly familiar tug on her soul as a new scene unfolded on her.
What she saw was not a scene from any of her memories but was still something that she'd seen countless times from her nightmares.
It was like a scene straight out from pits of hell. Blazing flames ravaged the area filling it with the acrid scent of smoke and the nauseating smell of burning meat and the moment she looked around, Fan Zhu Xia was filled with nothing but horror as she realized that the burnt meat smell was actually the scent that was emitted by the countless corpses with most bodies barely recognizable due to missing limbs and other forms of disfigurement were being devoured mercilessly by the fire.
Looking closer, she felt the last shred of awareness she had abruptly shattered as heartrending grief consumed her as a howl of pure and utter sadness and despair escaped her.
As her eyes wandered, it continuously landed on familiar faces, statures and features all entered gaze.
This time, she wasn't a phantom floating above and witnessing everything unfold in front of her like before.
No, this time she was very much there. She saw everything up close, felt the scorching heat of the blaze as the wind blew that horrifying smell of blood, decay and burnt flesh to her as of enveloping her with an embrace filled with nothing but the essence of death.
Deeper and deeper she walked in as more and more of her clansmen's brutalised corpses she passed until finally she appeared just in front of the family courtyard of the head of the clan.
This was her home and yet the moment she entered she saw nothing but the glaring color of red splattered everywhere and pieces of something scattered about.
It was as if she was seeing something that she shouldn't have yet she just couldn't pry her eyes away until finally it landed on something that made her freeze and her blood run cold.
This is what snapped her out of it and made her scream and wail until her throat went hoarse then mute.
Even with her eyes clenched tightly close, the image she saw still isn't something that could be erased.
So she screamed until nothing was left in her.
She screamed until she felt her energy be depleted.
She screamed until she felt that even her very being that strove to survive and keep pushing forward for the sake of getting her revenge and justice from the people responsible as well as the will to live beside her newfound family slowly eroded away until she was left with absolutely nothing.
Her screams echoed out silently around her as her mind finally succumbed to darkness when she faintly felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her and pull her to a warm, hard chest as a soft voice whispered to her.
"Hush now little one, I'm here now... Everything will be fine..."
