Drowning in the Dark

I heard the dream crystals chime in the wind. A gentle waft drew in along with the warm rays of sun on my skin. It smelled like home.

"Wake up, honey," mother whispered in my ears and I let my eyes open by a slit and peeked at her radiant silhouette next to me.

She was smiling.

I felt myself groan and cuddle further in my bed sheets. She brushed my wispy hair with her long slender fingers and chuckled, softly. A nostalgic sound to me.

"How's your new life, hm?" she murmured next to me and I hummed back in response.

She cradled me in her arms and held out her pinky finger. I grasped it tightly within my tiny hands and as I opened my eyes, I saw the glaze in her brown ones, the wrinkles of her smile, and the faint dimples that were so like mine, as vivid as the blueness of the sea, the warmth of the sun, the rush of the wind and the vastness of the sky like she was really here and everything was normal.

"Chloe," she said and I basked in the melody it strung within. I missed her so much. "I love you, you know that, right?"

Yes and I love you too.

And then I woke up.

It was still dark outside when I opened my eyes to an unfamiliar room, on an unfamiliar bed where my dream crystals hanging by the window, no longer sang.

It had been one hundred and forty eight days since my mother died in a car accident. After losing her, half my world disappeared. I was incomplete. Saying I went into depression was an understatement. I was utterly and absolutely devastated.

My father? Well, let's just say he was never the man I needed him to be, when I needed him the most. He became an alcoholic losing his nights at first and then his days as well. He was supposed to be my anchor but both of us were too far gone to be saved.

Until aunt Dianna, my mother's elder sister, decided to take me in. No matter how broken down I was, I was still not ready to leave my father alone to drown in his sorrows until I truly lost him as well. But I guess he felt guilty for letting me down and for making his only daughter feel the need to save him instead of the other way around.

With a melancholic smile he said his parting words,"-go and pull yourself together. Once you are strong enough come back to save this measly old man too."

I didn't know what it meant to be strong. I still don't. But I will try to become half the woman my mother used to be. That way, I might just be able to piece my life back together.

I closed my eyes again, wanting to relish the taste of my dream but it was gone. This was reality. This was my new life.

I sat up and got off the bed. Pulling the netted curtains to a side, I glanced out the window, at the farm and the lush green fields of winter wheat in the distance. How they moved like waves with the gentle breeze. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

When I open my eyes, I will no longer be the girl from yesterday. I will no longer cry.

I opened my eyes and outstretched my hand to ring the dream crystals hanging over the window. Their clangs uniting into a sad melody. I went back to bed, pulling the covers over me and silently fell into slumber.