13 The manic laugh

Noah

Are they for real? Why should they help her remember? Are they thinking of keeping her as a friend? I can’t understand what they were trying to do. They will only bring a hard time for all of us. She’s beautiful, yeah, but not next to our problems. She has a complicated personality and yet complicated life. Ours is already perplex and we don’t need anyone’s mess next to it. If we make her our friend, we must care about her problems and we just can’t do that I knew from the start that it is a bad idea to let her in.

My room door clicked, and it was Adam and Ethan getting in. They had in their faces the look that says -we don’t understand you-. I hate that look because it means they agree with nothing I’ve done or say.

“What you have in storage for me?” I asked, waiting for their usual scolding. I am a realistic person, if I didn’t like something, it would show on me, and they know that. Why they keep nagging about being kind? I don’t know.

“Sarah didn’t saw your reaction while we were talking. She could’ve misunderstood it as you don’t want her here. Don’t forget she’s here for you,” Adam spoke.

“Well, she should’ve seen it. You didn’t act like she’s here only to help and go. I don’t want her to know much about us. She’s a smart person, and by you talking about the past, she figured the fake age. She’ll next connect the dots, and it won’t end well”.

“She was going to know, anyway; she knows mine. It must slip out of her mind,” Ethan breathed. I know that I should not refuse her since she’s his cousin, and I may hurt him, but it’s for her own good and well too.

“It was spontaneous. Sarah is a good person to talk to, and I couldn’t leave the memories to me. I somehow wanted her to remember. It’s healthy to have a contact with someone outside our group and you heard that she only had Ethan and after him leaving, she spent her life alone. I just spoke my memories so she won't feel that she's alone,” Adam said. The way he smiled while talking wasn’t pleasant for me at all.

“Well, you should’ve kept them to yourselves,” I yelled my anger out. “I am warning you guys; she has nothing to do with us after this week. She has to go back to her life. I am not telling you you have to leave her Ethan, but no one can see her with us. Don’t forget that she is an only heir for her father’s company, too. Being with us will put her in the radar. We don’t want her to get in this mess with us, right?”

We parted with an agreement. Adam told me he’d speak to Daniel and Liam, saying that I am not the kind that accurately delivers the right message.

I am harsh, I know, but that’s me. I can't fake being nice when I don't like something. I have Ethan that uses his heart to understand and Adam to use his brain to understand my complicated mind. Without these two, I won’t be accepted ever in this group by the other two seeing that Daniel has this thing about respecting the oldest and Liam being the kid that doesn’t want to grow up.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Sarah

That was what I wanted initially. I do want to cut loose with them after this week. Why do I feel hurt? Why it hurts coming from someone else? I hear similar stuff all the time at school and it touch none of my feelings. Why coming from him stings? I let my walls down for a moment, and I don’t feel better after that. I need to get back to my routine fast.

I didn't stay to hear more. I went back to Noah’s studio and sat there, looking at the black and gray soundproof walls.

“She has to go back to her life.”

These words kept repeating one by one in my head. Yeah, I should back, not talking to anyone. I am now myself. If I stay in contact with any human being, I’ll get attached to them. And if the only time I spent in the guys made me feel hurt, then I should keep space and go back alone. It'll save their surrounding oxygen. You jinxed it, dad, I won't have handsome guys around me by the beginning of the next week.

When Noah came back, I put a poker face who has a copy of it himself. He let me listen to his song, and it's better than the one I played before. The melodies were harmonious, and it was pleasant for the ear to hear. It's delicate and has this feeling of hope and love. Nothing like him or what he shows to be like. If I wasn’t the one who’s going to play, I would like to see him play such a sweet song. Just to feed my curiosity, nothing more. But comparing it with the other one I played hours ago, the other was sad and depressed. It was easy for me to play it. I had only to manifest it to my memories. This one will take more time for me to sink in it and feel it. And I don't I have this kind of time or power.

Noah wrote this song with an electronic keyboard when he was traveling. He said he didn't have a piano and didn't like to play on unfamiliar ones. Now that he has to turn it to be fit for the piano, he's injured. For the matter, I have to work. I have to write it in the music sheet which is hard to do it from an already finished song. I played it many times with him instructing me and showing me where I was mistaken.

"I'll try to complete writing it tonight at home. I'll go now so you won't have someone sharing with you your private space."

I asked him to send the song on my phone, took my bag, and went down. I bid goodbye to Liam since he was the only one in the living room.

**

I am not satisfied with the work I am doing on the sheets. I already have a bunch of papers surrounding my bed. I didn't read a music sheet for a long time. So, transferring an already done song is hard. And it won't be easy to play it too. He uses many melodies at one sound, so I have to practice my fingers' pace.

Since the house is empty and all the staff is in the pool house to clean it. My mom and her husband have some party tomorrow there which of course, I won't attend it. I might see what it will sound on a piano. I went down to the living room where the big black piano is. I never came here since the day I move to this house. The piano belongs to Uncle Oliver. It's a magnificent piece of decoration for him because he doesn't know how to play music. I stand in front of it, but couldn't get my fingers to press the keyboard. I didn't like the vibe I got from it.

Suddenly, the room started spinning around me. My ears ring, and along with them, ha ha's are getting loud. It is a peal of maniac laughter. It's his voice, the man on my terrifying nightmares. My feet became weak, and my heartbeats are getting louder. I never felt scared more than now. I feel myself turning crazy; these evil laughs are in my head. It's torturing. I run to my room and put earphones with loud music on them, and it was just a waste. It didn't cover the manic laughs. I hate it, and it makes me feel sick on the stomach.

The oxygen in the room feels like it sucked, and my breath becomes slow and unsteady. I now feel like I am only surrounded by the voice that' eating me alive. And the second I realized how it's consuming me, the second I saw nothing but blank and darkness.