1 Chapter One: A Spec on the Radar

My alarm sounded and I jolted awake heaving, heart pounding. I hated feeling like this, as if I just committed a murder. I ran a hand threw my hair and evened out my breathing. It was just a dream, just a dream…. I would repeat to myself. It was a dream but it felt too real. How I took the knife and slowly slit my classmate's throat. How I smiled a sick smile to his little girlfriend as I felt the flesh of his throat give. I looked at my hands remembering I felt the warm moist blood drip down onto my fingers and how in my dream I savored it. I shook my head swinging my legs over my bed frame. My room was dark and the only light was the raising sun, which filtered in threw the window. I flipped on my lights making my eyes squint from the sudden change. 

I stretched before pulling on a pair of basketball shorts before heading for the bathroom. It was the first door to my left and it only took me three steps. I looked in the merrier and glared at myself. I was already weird enough…. Now I was dreaming of killing people. I was on a one-way track to being a serial killer. I had enough problems but now my one peaceful getaway was now haunted by images of me killing all the people who made fun of me at school, and its not the normal kind of take the gun to school shoot it up sort of way… The me I saw in my dreams was methodically killing people and in gruesome ways… 

"Bernard!" My mother's voice rang down the stairs into the basement that served as my room. 

"I'm awake!" I called back not even realizing she had opened the door to the basement. The unmistakable small of my mother's coffee met my nose. I let out a heavy sigh today was Monday. I hated Monday because it marked the beginning of the weekdays. Which meant I had to face school and everyone in it that made my already mundane life into a living nightmare. My life outside of school was okay I lived in a middle class house with my mother. My father died a few years ago which left my mother who worked full time to pay all the bills. I have no siblings and the only time I spent with my mother was when she took me to school and when we ate dinner at night. Other then that I was by myself. During the weekends, my mother usually spent her time at the gym with her friends, that or the bar. She was either too drunk or to tired to ever spend time with me. I usually invited my best friend Tucker over so we could play some video games. 

So now you know, I am a nerd not only that but I fit the category perfectly. I was skinny to the point where it looked like I never ate anything. My hair was too thick and when it got to long, it curled. Therefore, my mother usually clipped it into the worst styles imaginable, usually the bowl cut. My mother would not buy me hair jell and when I asked for a different style she would mutter to me about not having money to go anywhere, and that this was the only styles she knew how to clip. Therefore, I was pretty much screwed. The only thing that saved me from being utterly repulsive was the fact that I had my father's eyes. 

Sharp emerald and I might be short, and skinny to the point that I look like a white Ethiopian but I did luck out on my face. At least I was not buck-toothed or had a huge nose. No my face wasn't bad it was just everything else; from the way, I dressed, to the things I liked. People seemed to have segregated me from the rest of the school. Like I was some sort of alien. I left the bathroom after brushing my teeth and running a quick comb threw my overgrown hair, which my mother would want to cut in a few days. I went back into my room and changed into my school clothes. My mother usually only bought button up and collared shirts… Yeah I know what you're thinking. Who wears shirts like that to school? Well that'd be me. As I slipped on a blue button up and a pair of black jeans, I gathered my stuff for school. I use to use a backpack but ever since people started using it to throw me into lockers, I decided to leave it at home. I'd rather have my stuff slapped to the ground then physically be shoved into a wall repeatedly. I grabbed my stuff and ran up stairs into the kitchen. My mother looked up and gave me a quick smile before looking back down at her laptop. 

"Hey sweetie ready to go?" She asked her soft voice barely heard by my ears. She had short black hair that curled at the bottom naturally like mine. My mother was as skinny as I was and the boys at my school would often call her hot. Some even went as far as telling me they would sleep with her, asking for her number. Just another one of the many things that made my life horrible. My mother was my pillar and the only person I could really turn too. She was just too busy and I knew this and accepted it. I wish I could fight back you don't know how bad I would love to punch the boys at my school. Especially the ones who spoke about my mother like that but I couldn't fight back. Not unless I wanted a trip to the hospital… 

This happened the last time I decided to stand up for myself. I ended up with a broken jaw and a concussion. I fallowed my mother out to our two door Honda Civic and got in. 

Now I know you might be asking why the hell the school hasn't done anything. Well let's just put it this way. I live in a huge city that is overrun by gangs and a little white boy getting harassed here in there is getting over looked because of the more serious matters. Like drugs, prostitution, and gang violence. I was a meager dot on the radar and I had given up on trying to go to the school for help. It was just a waste of time. When I got to school my mother said goodbye as she dropped me off a block down the road so I could meet Tucker. 

"Love you mom have a good day at work!" I called waving my hand at her as I headed for the tree where Tucker and I met under every morning for school. Tucker was a big boy and he got teased mostly because of that fact. We were an odd pair. Tucker being about 6'1 and about 180 pounds made me look even more the smaller. I only stood about 5'6 and 110 pounds… People called us Trucker and Bra-Nads-, 'Nads' which is a reference to a mans balls incase you didn't already know… An the students often put them together to create Trucker Nads which was a reference to both of us as we walked down the halls. Tucker had brown hair and brown eyes and a wide chest. His parents often bugged him to tryout for football but because of his classmates, Tucker usually came straight to my house to play Call of Duty with me. Something we were both good at and could get some aggression out on. Since fighting other students was out of the question. Now I'm not saying Tucker isn't strong he's just a big push over and he's not the fighting type. More like the jolly green giant type if you get my drift. Tucker's booming voice hit my ears before I saw him. He was jogging my way backpack awkwardly slung over his shoulder. 

"Hey B!" He called and I waved back at him. Tucker's usually attire consisted of basketball shorts and large usually solid colored shirts that matched the basketball shorts. Today he sported red and black basketball shorts with a red shirt. His round shaped face was flushed from running for what seemed to be a few blocks. His was sweating and panting heavily.

"Hey guess what!" He said as we started to walk side by side.

"What?" I asked making his smile widen.

"I got a date for the dance!" I frowned, "good for you." I congratulated my friend even though I secretly hated him for it. I could never get a date but I wasn't going to be a bad friend and rain on Tucker's parade.

"Who's the lucky lady?" I asked picking up my tone so Tucker didn't sense my jealousy. 

"Kami Hamilton! You know the one from our seventh period on B days?" He asked and I nodded remember the girl that sort of resembled a real life Miss. Piggy. Oh well it was good that Tucker got a date and he was happy. Therefore, I was happy for him naturally even though I was still a little jealous.

"Yeah she's a cutie! Hopefully I can find a date…not!" I joked making us both laugh because Tucker knew I would never be caught dead at a school dance. 

"Oh come on B you never ask anybody out! How would you know if you never ask?" He made a valid point but I wasn't about to take a girl and chance getting completely embarrassed… 

"It's about time I saw you exercise Trucker! To bad it's not going to help much lard ass!" We both knew that voice and neither of us had to turn to know it was Dallas the biggest jerk in school and the one that went out of his way to torture us. He was already sixteen and his family already gave him a car. The car was filled with our classmates and they all joined in with Dallas as he laughed at Tucker who was still catching his breath.  

"Why don't you watch where you are going you might get into an accident!" I called seeing the stop sign right before our school.

"What did you say you little-" He was to busy shouting at us that he wasn't look and about ran the stop sign. His friend alerted him before he could hit the small minivan that was going threw the intersection. Tucker and I laughed at the terrified look on his face we ran the rest of the way to school as to not be caught alone with Dallas who probably was irate by now. 

"I can't believe you said that to him! You got some balls my brother!" Tucker said throwing his sweaty arm around my shoulder. I shrugged him off as we walked down the halls. The school was as busy as ever. Our school colors of red, yellow, and black hung in banners down the halls. The tile was black and white which matched our school colors. We went up stairs and to the south side of the school where most ninth graders lockers and classes were. Our lockers are a mustered yellow color, which as hideous even for people who liked yellow. I threw my later period's homework and books in. 

"See you at lunch." I told Tucker who seemed to have only half heard me as he nodded absentmindedly. I went to my first period and sat in an assigned seat next to none other then Jenna, Jenna being Dallas's girlfriend and if you haven't guessed, Dallas was the one in my dream. You know the one I dreamed of cutting his throat? An yes Jenna was the one that watched. I sat down in my seat feeling as though someone had a strangle hold on my insides. Jenna was actually nice and when Dallas wasn't looking, she helped me or said sorry. Still didn't change that fact that she dated the jerk of all jerks. She turned in her seat when I sat down and smiled at me. Like she did every morning. I returned it like every other morning. The bell still hadn't rung and so many students sat chattering to one another.

"How was your weekend? Did you find a date to the dance?" She asked being the talkative girl Jenna was. She was a very beautiful young women. She had long flowing natural blond hair, not the bleach blond that you so commonly see today. Her stunning hazel eyes were accompanied by long lashes and perfectly arched brows. If you couldn't tell, I had a crush on her… a huge one. What I loved most about her was her dimples when she smiled at me. It made me feel butterflies every time. I however would never get a chance with someone like her. Never in a million and one light years…. 

"I just hung out and no I didn't find a date. I hate dances." Jenna frowned at me making me kind of regret saying that. I hated seeing her frown.

"Why," came her reply prompting me to answer when she flashed her eyes at mine.

"I just… I-" Jenna shook her head, "it's because of Dallas huh?" She asked making me nod. I couldn't lie it was the truth. I didn't go because I knew Dallas would be there along with everyone else that seemed to despise me for no reason what so ever. 

"It's okay it's not your fault that he's a jerk sometimes…" All the time… I thought to myself so I didn't offend her. 

"I've tried talking to him so maybe I'll try again." I shook my okay, "no don't," I said making her frown once more. I said no because last time she 'talked' to him he thought I'd been hitting on her and flattened all my mom tiers. My mom had to over five hundred dollars to get all new tiers. Before Jenna could ask, why the bell rang and the teacher began her lesson. When it was lunchtime, I met up with Tucker and our other friend a girl named Susan. Susan was a very short girl that wore black framed glasses. She always had messy brunette hair and wide blue eyes. She took pills for anxiety and Bi polar issues. Her mother and father were drug addicts Susan could always be found in her room with the door locked playing games online with us. She used a mic to talk to us sense her parents forbid her to go anywhere after school and didn't let her talk on the phone. I felt bad for Susan she had it the worse. She greeted me with a shaky wave and I gave her a quick hug. Susan was like the sister I never had. 

"Hey guys," she muttered softly.

"Hey Sue how are you?" Came my infamous reply that usually got a smile out of her thin lips. 

Sue simply shrugged, "same shit different shovel." She replied her guarded eyes made me back off. She never liked to talk about her feelings, or her parents. Therefore, it was best to leave Susan alone. The halls were filled with students and it was hard to find a spot where no one was trying to shove past you. Susan, Tucker and I usually hung out near the theater, which was at the back of the school less students less hassle. We sat down to eat our lunches that we brought from home. Yes, none of us ate at the cafeteria I use to eat out there until I met Susan. Susan always had a small packed sandwich with some kind of fruit to go along with it. Tucker always had junk food and I made my own so it varied. I usually had ham and Swiss with Doritos. Susan had a girl that bullied her all the time during lunch so she never dared to go near the cafeteria. We were eating peacefully and chatting occasionally when none other then Christy Hansen walked up. We didn't notice at first until Christy's leg came crashing down on Susan's lunch.

"You can't hide from me four eyes!" Christy said turning her foot side to side to demolish what was left of Susan's lunch. Susan didn't say a thing as she looked down at her lunch. I glared at this overly dressed girl with her pumps on and jean mini skirt. Her pink tube top was covered by a small jacket she had slung over her shoulder so that she 'abided' by the school dress code. She however took it off during most classes and in the halls. She had practically dated all the guys in school and successfully crushed most of their hearts. She was the worst player that anybody could meet and a all around bitch. She had no right to treat Susan this way! I stood up before Christy could say anything. Christy with her pumps on was taller then me and glared down at me as I moved in front of Susan. 

"Get the hell out of here you skank!" I said slowly and lowly but all she did was flip some of her chestnut brown hair behind her shoulder. She pressed her lips together in a fowl smirk.

"Oh and what are you going to do about it you fucking looser?" She asked shoving me making me trip on my backpack and almost fall. She laughed a high-pitched whine of some sorts before she turned on her heels. 

"I need to go wash my hands, later, losers." She walked off her hills clicking arithmetically off the walls. 

"Thanks Bernard." Susan said after the sound of the clicking finally faded meaning Christy was gone. 

"I hate her as much as you do." I stated before settling back down. School flew by afterwards and I was able to avoid Dallas altogether which was good because Jenna warned me later in the day he was looking for me. When I got home, I made a pizza hot pocket and grabbed a bag of chips before heading to my room downstairs in the basement. Tucker would arrive later and we'd start playing video games. I waited and waited before decided to text him.

-Me-

You Coming?

I waited but I didn't get a reply yawning I didn't feel like playing games by myself. Therefore, I changed the input and start-watching Netflix. I was only watching for a few before a fell into a light sleep. 

I was walking along forty-Fifth Street when I saw Christy walking my way. I felt myself grow anxious as she got near. I hated her for the way she treated poor Susan she already had a hard life without some big-boobs no personality skank to make it harder. We were about to cross by each other when I decided I would take my revenge in my dreams. I knew it was my dream because I dreamed a lot.

I always was self-conscious in my dreams I was able to fluently change the course of my dreams, which made them quite fun. In this one, I wanted one thing… To see Christy die… Right when our shoulders brushed, I kicked out my leg and caused her to trip. Her high hilled pumps didn't help as her ankle buckled painfully and she fell into the street. I quickly imagined a car coming down the road and without a second delay…. A sickening thud and a warm spray of blood kicked up as the speeding car smashed into the girl's frail body. I saw her twisted form lay not to far away as imaginary people crowded the streets. I heard her scream on last time and I heard a man yelling for someone to call and ambulance. I sat smile in place hands in my pockets… 

"Bernard!" I shrugged awake to see my mom standing over me. 

"Yeah?" I asked in a groggy tone.

"I think you might want to see this…" My moms tone was low and I could see her eyes were watery like she was about to cry. I went to get up but my mom shook her head and turned the channel to the news. The headlines read,

High school Student Struck by Car and Killed.

"At 5:45 today a young teenage girl by the name of Christy Gray Hansen tripped into the streets and was struck by a car. Eyewitness accounts say that she looked like she tripped and a speeding car didn't see her in the road. The girl didn't die instantly as paramedics frantically tried to save the girls life. In the end…" I snatched the TV remote from my mom and turned my TV off. My heart felt like it had frozen inside my chest.

Christy Hansen the girl that bullied Susan died today… only I dreamed it before it happened.

Could I see the future? Or did I just commit murder?