5 Chapter 5

Time flew by rather quickly, she picked up the basics of how to play her instrument and continued to live the life of a shut-in, the weather was getting warmer and warmer as weeks went by and she didn't even want to move in case she started to sweat, deodorant wasn't available in this era so she'd rather not smell like a gym locker. Her clothes didn't help either, even though they were not as layered as she expected but it was still far from a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

"Young miss the master just returned from his trip, would you like to go welcome him home?" It wasn't a question, it was proper to go and pay her respect to her father but she honestly didn't want to go outside.

"Tell them I'm ill"

"Miss, you've been I'll every week for the past three months the Mistress will use this incident to nitpick."

"Why should I care?"

The maid had a lost expression.

"Young miss, the master will get a wrong impression..."

As she was about to speak a familiar deep voice resounded throughout her courtyard. "You little girl! You're actually avoiding your father!?" She nearly jumped out of her skin as she was thoroughly scolded by the middle-aged man who was slightly red in the face.

"Si-...Father..." She said still not used to calling him her father.

"Don't speak! Kneel!" She subconsciously knelt without thinking, his domineering voice gave her goosebumps causing her to cower away to his annoyance. "Do you know your faults!? What have you been learning these past few years!?"

It was strange, her father was also really strict in her old life, her memories were fragmented at this point, it was strange how fast they disappeared from her memory, she hadn't realized how easy it was for everything she loved to disappear. Her heart suddenly felt heavy and stuffy and her eyes teared up. The older man paused as he noticed her tears, and suddenly felt he may have scared her as she was rather delicate and fragile. "... Stop crying, just go to the ancestral hall and pray there for a few days to repent." She sniffled and nodded.

She felt homesick, she wanted to go home and see her mum again, she wiped her tears as they overflowed without stopping. If she was home her brothers would probably be surrounding her asking for favours. Her 'father' stopped like a deer caught in headlights, he pursed his lips before turning around to leave, if she was home she would have been the bridesmaid at her sister's wedding... She would have been able to see her dad turn 60...

Seeing this body's father leave made her feel so alone in this big courtyard, she couldn't confide in anyone, her best friend was now gone, would he miss her?

"Young miss please stand..."

She didn't want to.

"Bring me my prayer beads." She was never too spiritual in her past life, but praying would at least make her feel a little closer to her family who were also extremely religious, she loved them even though she wasn't as far gone as they were. Right now she needed to do anything to remember them.

Naturally, she spent a week with a statue of the Buddha with her regular vegetarian meals, she spent most of her time writing down her memories from her past in English and spending time thinking through things she regretted before she died.

What was the last thing she told her parents?

"I love you."

She was never one to argue with them, she would silently rebel but would make sure they never found out or it would break their heart, at least she died leaving them with pleasant memories... Unless they find her browsing history.

"Young miss please eat a little more..." She was replied with silence, the maid worried slightly, her young miss had withdrawn from everyone but her prayer beads and ink, maybe she was really too shocked that the master had scolded her for being naughty, her young miss was really spoiled.

Every night was the same, she would stare at the ceiling for a long time before crying herself to sleep, today was a little different, she didn't cry this time she just sad motionlessly at the window watching the moon.

"Why are you weeping?"

Her head turned to see nobody, the voice was in her head, she was actually going crazy from grieve.

"I miss my mum and dad... And my sister, my brothers, my friends, my future..." She stopped as she noticed her voice shaking, she didn't want to cry anymore, it was too exhausting, she had her everything going for her, how did she end up in this place? In this era? She didn't want this, she thought she would quickly blend in but everything just felt so wrong and painful.

"Oh.. so why are you here? Just go back to them."

"If I could, I would have by now."

"But you can you just have to find a way home!"

Find a way home.

Her eyes lit up with hope, if she could come here then surely she could go home right? She had to find her way home!

"Mum, dad, just wait a little bit for me ok? I'm coming home..."

Should she die?

But how was she sure she would go back home? She had no idea if she died before transmigrating here, if she had died first then wouldn't ending her life be the end? She didn't want to die, she was too afraid of death and what was on the other side, risking her life wasn't feasible for someone like her.

The only way forward was to find a way home.