1 Chapter 1: The Usual Habit

What if you have the power to foresee the future through your dreams? Would you try to change it or would you let it freely transpire into your present? Would you perceive it as a blessing or a curse? With such power, I don't think I can handle these responsibilities given to me. I'm the only person who has this.

Being unable to control the future in the dream that's likely bound to happen, brings nostalgia to me. Being able to experience these moments multiple times became very burdensome. All I can do is watch as they pass by, just like a repeated movie marathon. The sad thing is, I'll only realize that I've already had a glimpse of the future after seconds of it happening right in front of my eyes.

No words can describe the feeling of the mind being trapped between the present and the future because no one will understand since they didn't experience it yet. In the meantime, I'll remain as calm as a normal teenage student who comes to school to reach enormous ambitions.

I'm Violet Drimunan, a scholar of Einstein's Science High School for the Gifted, widely known as one of the most prestigious schools of entire Southeast Asia.

***

4:30 AM

Violet POV

A guy with glasses held onto my hand, looking at me apologetically, "No matter what happens, promise me that you will never let go of what you already have."

I hesitantly replied back, "You don't know the feeling of being trapped in a recurring dream flashing in front of your eyes. You don't understand how risky it is to rewrite the inevitable future."

I tried my best in altering the future but it wasn't enough. I can't bear the guiltiness I felt every time I had to watch a nightmare that emerged into reality despite altering every little detail that I could control. I can't save anyone. "I want to hold on but I know that I couldn't tolerate the burdens imparted to me. I'm sorry but I have to let go of this curse."

The alarm of my cell phone suddenly rang. Just as the thrill was about to unfold, my imagination disappeared into thin air.

***

This became a habit of mine. I wake up early in the morning because every day is a race towards the cubicles. There are seven assigned students per cubicle and I already agreed with my roommates that I'll have to take a bath first because if not, I'll be the last one and I would most likely be late for class.

Since our seniors reminded us that grade nine will be the most stressful school year for our entire K-12 curriculum, I'm going to adjust my schedule so that I could fit everything in perfect order. I want to prepare myself to face whatever challenges I have to encounter.

I looked at the mirror again and told myself, "Remember your past and be careful of everyone's stances around you. You cannot read their thoughts. Anyone who seems nice at first may turn into a threat someday."

I'm considered one of the quiet students in school. Most of the time, my classmates don't initiate conversations with me 'cause I mostly listen to whatever they say and not talk at all. Many find me boring to talk with because of the short responses I give back. I may look timid but I still have friends who I can count on.

Before I was so outgoing and friendly that I could blend in into any social circle. Yet, experiencing verbal bullying during my elementary days made it more difficult for me to trust anyone ever again. During those times, I had no other choice but to transfer schools for a fresh start so that I will never have any encounters with those nasty classmates ever again.

In order to ease loneliness, I read tons of teen fiction books. I always had to save up money so that I could buy more books to read. 'Til now, books are my secret hideaway. A little journey I'd take for a little while with its peaking and uprising moments with imagination concealing harsh reality. After reading tons of stories, I can recommend several books with excellent story plots that can appeal to anyone's tastes in literature.

Once, I tried to join a choir in order for me to socialize with others and to lift my self-esteem. However, my practice consumed a lot of my time which should have been used for studying. My grades were affected so my parents decided that I should leave the choir. It made me very happy to bond with the choir but I had no choice.

I quickly took my dream journal and started writing every detail of my dreams which I could remember.

"Journal entry #31: I'm in a coffee shop when it happened. It rained really hard which made me wait a bit longer than our meeting time. A tall lean guy wearing a sweater and glasses entered the shop. I smiled and he waved back to me. He gladly sat on the opposite side of the table. I couldn't recognize him though, however, I knew something was off because of his facial expressions. He mumbled under his breath. I couldn't understand any word he said, but I would say that he was hesitant to say it."

Who is he? I couldn't recognize him because his face looks too hazy in my dreams. I know that I should not search for random boys with glasses on the internet nor stalk anyone I know with glasses. I'll meet him soon. Hopefully, he'll be a handsome-looking guy and a nice friend.

At school, I was pushed to the sides when a sudden crowd of students rushed towards the bulletin board. I got curious and walked towards it and tried to get in front. I took a clear photo of everything posted and hurriedly left. I scrolled down to look at photos I've taken, they were posted lists of students per section. I immediately noticed that I got separated from my closest best friend who was by my side for support. Looking at the bright side, I'll try socializing with everyone from our circle in this way I will be able to know more about them. Strengthening our growth and trust will result in a lasting friendship.

I feel determined right now. This time, I'll do my best to reach a grade above the cut-off grade of a top student, I will be a DL (Director's Lister).

I'm tired of my parents comparing me with others, complaining that I can't reach their

expectations, that I won't be a top student.

I've always wondered whether I changed a lot from leaving my former school or not. I want to blame my former best friend who made me change a lot about myself but I won't. Everything that happened before was entirely my fault.

I went in line and I noticed that everyone grew taller. I wish I had grown taller too. Why does it appear as everyone has grown except for me? Evidently, in my batch, the growth spurt of the boys has boosted a lot.

I tried to shift my focus from hearing the different news and updates of upcoming k-pop group comebacks, new k-drama, and anime releases from eavesdropping on the conversations of the people around me. I don't usually take interest in k-pop, k-drama, and anime that much. I personally like OPM(Original Pinoy Music) and Filipino films more.

I looked around, trying to familiarize new faces around. I approached my circle and listened to their conversations

I felt a light tap on my shoulder. "Hi, Vi. How are you?"

I looked behind me and saw Daniel.

"Oh hello. I'm fine though I had to study during vacations. My parents insisted that I should study some topics included in the curriculum for this school year. But look at you, I've noticed that you have a deeper voice than before."

I had a little infatuation on him before during grade seven. However, after getting hurt by my former best friend and crush, I promised myself that I will resist myself from liking anybody for a while.

There is a reason why I'm putting a barrier from romantic love. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings for me. I always tried to evaluate myself with the relationship I have with others. If my heart beats faster for another person than usual, then maybe I had moved on from my previous crush. If I like a person, I'll never treat him as a rebound crush just because I have feelings for someone else. When I like a person, I will look at him for who he is. I don't want them to feel used. I want them to feel being loved.

This scene feels familiar. If my memory serves me right, a strange dream revealed to me that my previous tutor became a teacher of this school. I think it will happen soon, maybe after a year or two. Though I'm not sure if that dream will even happen.

As soon as the flag ceremony had finished, we went straight towards our designated classrooms. Just like every first day of classes, introductions were made by the students and the teachers. Some asked about interesting facts about ourselves and our future goals. I had to say the same thing all over again.

Since we don't have any seating arrangements yet, we freely choose our seats with the people we want to sit beside. I sat beside Pauline and Anna, the duo who can't be separated since grade seven.

I couldn't join their social circle even though they are friendly since I usually get "out of place" in their circle and I make awkward situations in their atmosphere. To be honest, it's fine for me, I already got used to it. At least, I won't attract unnecessary attention. I can share my thoughts and opinions critically during recitations and debates without worrying about anyone's judgments.

Even though it looks like a normal school year, I felt a peculiar feeling towards this person I have only met in my dreams. My mind wandered off from the discussions of my teachers. I set my cellphone on record so that I wouldn't miss any important details.

I felt that he might have an enormous impact on my life. I wonder, who is that mysterious guy with glasses?