19 Confidant (19)

Caeli slowly lifted herself in the mattress she had been laid upon.

She winced. Her body felt as though she had been toiling fields for days on end.

She gingerly adjusted herself to a sitting position and took mental note of where she was.

The space was dark but she didn't recall being in, what looked like, a tent before. Black fabric swayed gently as the wind touched it outside. The bed she was on was likely down and she was tangled in silk sheets.

She looked beside the bed to find a bright white carpet covered the majority of the ground.

Caeli felt sick to her stomach. All the sudden displacements were giving her whiplash.

Suddenly light filled the tent. Caeli's eyes took a moment to adjust before she was able to see candles hanging freely around the borders of the fabric. The tips of their small flames flickered benignly enough but she couldn't help but wonder if they'd set the tent ablaze.

A large creature, body made of black, swathed in black translucent cloth, ducked through the opening of the tent. His chest, mostly bare, wide as the mountains. His body was covered from the waist down. She could see that his feet resembled that of a large reptiles but became much more human-like as her eyes traveled upwards. She saw that his head was a large skull with shining red eyes. Behind him it was still night.

"Raven?", she croaked, her voice rough from lack of use in her sleep. Her brows knitted as she squinted at him.

The creature nodded slightly and shifted his weight to another foot uncomfortably and looked at one of the candles that seemed to be hanging from nothing, diverting his gaze.

"I thought perhaps this form would be a little less frightening. I did not want to show you before you had fallen asleep, you've had many things change quickly in such a short period of time. I certainly did not want to further burden your senses or sanity."

She felt a small stabbing sensation in her chest. Not painful but present. A pressing that made her want to give him an appreciative embrace.

He was concerned for her sanity. And she did not blame him. She recalled her fanatical change in mood as they had flown through the air. He likely had to wonder at such a thing given the tumultuous transition she had experienced between unbridled joy and freedom and crushing sadness.

She realized that the form he had hid from her was much different from the one she had met him in.

Caeli stared in shock at the man creature. He was incredibly beautiful. It was like staring at a perfectly sculpted statue in life. His body chiseled and rippling with thick muscles. His neck massive in circumference and not a single mark or defect on his skin.

Caeli's face flushed. This was her friend. Wasn't he? The thought came to her instantly. Friend. Comrade.

*Yes*, a voice from deep inside said to her. Raven is her friend.

Raven moved to the side of the bed slowly, his eyes seeming wary. He moved this way, giving her the chance to refuse his closeness. They'd come so far, he didn't want to take any steps backward in her trust for him. He would need to be careful.

He gently lowered himself to the end of the bed to sit. He placed himself as far as possible. Her eyes were wide like a fawn startled by a sound. He felt as though any sudden movements and this fawn would go leaping through the woods and he'd never see her again.

He swallowed hard against the sudden sense of fear at the thought.

"Are you alright?", he asked gruffly, his voice just above a whisper, his words spoken slowly.

Caeli looked around the tent and then down to her lap.

"I believe so my lord. Thank you.", she said, her voice still raspy. The sound of it, it's sultry tone, made something stir in Raven.

*What the hell is wrong with me?*, he asked himself. He felt like a whelpling. He was too old to be behaving thusly.

But it came without warning, enveloping him wholly before he could realize, like an assassin in the night. Each time he fought against it, beating it down until it retreated into the shadows once again, where it writhed and mocked him.

He watched her silently for a moment and noticed that something had changed.

He shook himself internally, she seemed distraught.

Gently he reach out his clawed hand and used the crook of his finger to lift her chin and see her face, careful to keep his claw away from her skin. He waited for her to object. She did not.

"Please, Caeli, speak to me.", he said. He was desperate for her to open to him. He wanted to be her confidant, to be her safe place, her comfort. He had wanted that since the day he saw her in the pond, her presence bringing color to his life. Vibrance to his existence.

She looked away from him and he dropped his clawed hand away from her and brought it to his own lap.

"I had a strange dream. In it I met a woman who claimed to be my mother. She spoke to me as though I was there, as though she was alive and could truly see me. I'm not sure how to describe it.", she said in frustration shaking her head and placing it in her hands. If only she could think straight. Her mind felt like a bees hive, thoughts and questions buzzing around loudly and ricocheting off of the boundaries that were her skull.

She rubbed frantically at her temples, her eyes moving rapidly behind their lids, her teeth clenched.

Her chest began to feel tight. She felt a deep urge to fall back asleep. To rest in oblivion and to not deal with all these things she couldn't begin to understand.

"You should eat, and then rest. I'm afraid I've pushed you too hard in my own selfishness.", Raven said. Then stopping himself.

His own selfishness, indeed. Kidnapping her, bringing her here, using her magic to revive himself. The last bit being somewhat of a happenstance.

Of course his biggest sin was the lie to keep her here.

He swallowed with some difficulty.

"Own selfishness?", Caeli asked, her brow furrowed from the effort of trying to calm herself and her mind. Raven's voice seemingly coming from a distant place. A place outside of the tumultuous storm that her mind was becoming.

For a sudden instant she felt as though she were somewhere else, some other time. Although disorienting for a moment, she felt as though a thick wall slowly rose around her, invisible to anyone on the outside, but impenetrable.

She had a vague sense that someone was nearby, speaking to her, perhaps even asking her a question.

*What? What is that? Who is there?*, Caeli thought to herself.

"Never mind that. Eat. Rest. Then we will try to sort everything. One by one. Step by step. Together.", he responded quickly.

Caeli nodded at her hands in her lap, her eyes slightly widened, her mind too occupied to be aware of her circumstances.

She felt like the world around her was going to consume her. Who was that woman? Did her dream truly happen? She had mentioned the stone yet Caeli had never mentioned it aloud to anyone but Aurum and Brego. But if it was a dream, a manifestation of her own subconscious, then of course anyone in her dreams that she had imagined would know. But how could she imagine a person she's never met? And the smell of the food and tea, the warmth of the fire, it had all seemed so real.

Raven saw Caeli coming undone in front of him. It shook him to his core to see her in this state. He was unsure of what to do.

He reached out and scooped the small woman from her place on the bed and set her in his lap. He tucked her head against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. She was so small compared to him, he couldn't help thinking how easily she could break, or be broken, if someone chose to be unkind or inconsiderate.

He gave her a small squeeze, careful to not use too much strength as he was sure it would hurt her. He kept his clawed hands weaved together and fisted them to avoid scratching her.

Caeli was shaken from her panicked state and was engulfed with the smell of night. Wet birch wood and a cool breeze after a long summers day enveloped her. Raven's skin was chilled compared to hers and she pressed her forehead hard against his chest. The coolness of his skin immediately brought her back to earth in mind and body. She heaved a large sigh and the world began to slow and steady. The walls began to fall, the winds calmed inside her mind, and she returned to herself.

He would hold her tightly to prevent her from falling to pieces. If that didn't work he would toil endlessly to put her back together again. He knew that in his heart he would do whatever it took.

"Try to clear your mind. Think of one solitary thing. Something joyful, a memory perhaps or your favorite item. Describe it to yourself in as much detail as you can.", he said softly to her.

Caeli closed her eyes and took another shaking deep breath. She thought of the first day her and the companions had arrived to this little ravine. She thought of the joy she felt in bathing in the ponds water and how the surface glimmered in the sunlight.

She took another breath, this one more steady.

She recalled a time when Brego had accidentally stomped on Aurum's tail and how the two had bickered back and forth like an old married couple. She remembered the raucous laughing she'd allowed her self, only after ensuring that Aurum was quite alright.

Life had seemed simpler then, and not so long ago.

Her chest loosened, air came easier to her now. The endless questions ceased to tumble through her mind at such a rapid rate.

"It worked.", Caeli said amazed and pulled back her head to look at Raven. She smiled weakly and felt some semblance of normalcy.

She laughed to herself, sitting in a tent, surrounded by eternal midnight, cradled by this creature, in his monstrous arms no less, and this was the time she felt the most normalcy.

"It's a technique I learned when I was young. We have much in common Caeli, I see so much of myself in you sometimes. I fear for you because of it. I had no one, no matter how often I wish I had, I recall some of those feelings then.", he said in a factual tone.

Caeli's heart broke for Raven. He seemed so kind to of been all alone in the moments he needed someone the most.

"But if you let me Caeli I will be here. Ready, for anything. I will help however I can, should you wish it.", he said.

Caeli smiled again and then stopped. She realized that her face was only inches away from his, her hands on his chest, her legs curled in his lap. Her heart raced.

"I'm so sorry my lord I've already inconvenienced you greatly.", she said too loudly, trying to mask her embarrassment, she backed away onto the bed again trying to put some distance between them. She did her best not to cuss as her foot caught in the silk sheet and she did her utmost to untangle it hastily without falling off of the bed.

*Shite. He must think I'm absolutely witless. Here I am having a break down and I'm leaning on him for comfort. He wanted to help me out of danger, he surely wasn't signing up for all of this*, Caeli said to herself. She mentally kicked herself repeatedly.

Ravens heart sank some as she backed away from him. Of course he was making her uncomfortable. He imagined his size and the way he looked, in the past soldiers had run screaming in terror at the sight of him, this woman was half the size of any of those men.

*Give her time.*, he thought to himself. She had already shown how incredibly brave she was. She had yet to flinch away from his touch and she seemed genuinely comforted and pleased at his presence.

*I know that she could never love something like me, somebody like me, but surely she will allow me to be her friend. I'd rather have her in friendship than to not have her in my life at all. Which could still happen*, he thought grimly to himself.

"No inconvenience at all.", he said shortly. He stood and walked to the entrance of the tent.

"I've collected a few things to eat. I'll start making you something.", he said quickly. Without glancing back he ducked out into the night.

Caeli noticed a marked change in him. She dropped her head slightly. She had made him uncomfortable.

She liked Raven. For all of his bulk he was incredibly gentle and thoughtful. She hoped that she hadn't ruined their friendship in her moment of weakness.

She recalled how quickly the world had stopped spinning out of control once she had been held by this creature. She was thankful, she thought that surely she'd loose her mind or die of an attack on the heart. She was thankful but she determined right then she'd try harder not to burden her new friend.

*Friend*, she thought to herself.