62 Lingling

<Lingling POV>

My name is Xie Lingling. I'm 15 years old and a rank 43 Spirit Ancestor with the Nine Heart Flowering Apple.

Before I turned 6 years old, my life had been quite normal. I had a parent and a mother than greatly cherished me, being their only daughter. I also had some friends with whom I enjoyed the time playing around.

My parents were part of the Xie Clan, making me also part of it. The Xie Clan focused on plant spirits, especially flower type, and was considered one of the best auxiliary clans of the continent, being highly respected or that was what I thought.

My parents weren't anything important in the clan, some distant family not powerful enough to even been named, but they were proud of being part of it so I wanted to be also part and help them, making my parents proud of me.

My life could have been described as normal but I was happy with it. However, everything changed in my awakening ceremony.

I went to the clan to awaken my spirits under the supervision of the elders and matriarch like any other child from the clan and under the shock of everyone present, I awakened with Full Innate Spirit Energy and the Nine Heart Flowering Apple as spirit.

The Nine Heart Flowering Apple was considered to be one of the rarest spirits over the Douluo Continent, being considered the strongest healing spirit, being able to save even people at the death door with only one last breath, being considered a miracle itself. It lacked any offensive property, being only able to use only one skill, Healing, without mattering how many spirit rings were used, not minding the spirit or age of it, only varying the potency and consumption of the skill.

Each generation could only have one person awakening the Nine Heart Flowering Apple and there can only exist two Nine Heart Flowering Apple spirit masters alive at the same time, meaning that one of them must die to another one to be born. It was the price to pay to such otherworldly ability.

Having awakened the Nine Heart Flowering Apple, every elder stepped down, congratulating me and my parents, making me incredibly happy, knowing how proud I would make my parents with it.

Lastly, the matriarch of the clan, Xie Ping, approached me, the other elders making space for her. Like me, she had also awakened the Nine Heart Flowering Apple as it was custom for the spirit master with the Nine Heart Flowering Apple to become the matriarch of the clan, being the most important person there.

Xie Ping was 60 years old, but she was incredibly pretty, age not seeming to affect her beauty, giving a sense of maturity rather than age. Every one of her movements was elegant and a royal aura seemed to surround her. I thought of her as the perfect lady and the one that I should try to emulate in the future.

She reached me and lowered her body, taking me in her arms in a hug. I blushed as such an act, becoming very shy about it, however, everything changed when she talked with me.

"My little girl, sorry" She whispered to me with a melancholy voice. She left me completely puzzled as she returned to her seat, her face not showing any emotion as usual.

I was confused, thinking that I heard it wrong, but her words resounded over my head very clearly. I really couldn't really understand her reason to tell me that but I quickly discovered it.

Since that day my life changed completely. I was taken away from my parents and friends, needing to move to the main headquarters to be groomed as the next head of the clan.

After helping me obtain my first ring, I arrived at the clan's main building, I was ready to try my best to become worthy of the clan. I was given a personal aide, Xie Xiu, a middle-aged woman and the daughter of one of the elders, that would guide me to become the future head. And she really guided me, guided me to hell.

Completely locking me in a room no different from jail, torturing me physically and physiologically, insulting and diminishing myself while slashing me with a whip or punching me. My world body and mind becoming a mural that imprinted her work on me. The only exception being my face that she always avoided it while saying that it was the only thing that should be shown.

I tried to search for help, but I quickly discovered that it was useless. This wasn't something from Xie Xiu, this was expected by everyone, being a command given by the elders.

This hell continued seeming to never end. It didn't matter if I did something wrong or not, the beatings never stopped, Xie Xiu wanting to bent herself rather than teaching anything.

A light of hope appeared after a month when the matriarch entered my room. She invoked her Nine Heart Flowering Apple and healed all my injuries. Xie Xiu's trace disappearing from my body.

I cried, thanking her and asking for her help, a brighter future seeming to open before me. However, it didn't last long before Ping destroyed it, telling me the truth about the clan.

The Xie Clan was considered one of the best auxiliary clans and had years of history, being one of the ancients clans. However, unlike the Seven Treasure Glazed Tile Clan, they lacked strength and resources.

What does that mean? It meant that the Xie Clan didn't have any power, always being at the mercy of a stronger clan, never being able to revolt against them due to their lack of offense or their grooming ability.

Ironically, that characteristic was what made the clan last so many generations. It had great auxiliary potential but alone didn't pose any threat so even when stronger clans fall, they were let alive, simply changing under another hand, becoming the spoils of the winner.

It had happened so many times that the submissive nature was implanted in the minds of the clan's leaders. They must be submissive, helping the stronger and never fighting back, lowering themselves and throwing away their pride for survival. Trying to groom offensive types spirit masters to make themselves stronger never passing for their mind under the fright of being annihilated for that.

So as the clan's heiress and future image of the clan, nothing less could be expected from her. She needed to be a submissive and helpful person devoid of any resistance, impossible to put any defense and accepting everything. That was the reason for her hell, they were taking her, her capability to rebel, punishing every time.

After finishing explaining the reason, Ping told me that I should learn to heal myself in the future and left saying a sentence that really impacted me "Become a doll, like me".

With hell continuing and my faith of ending it disappearing, I finally learned Ping's meaning. I needed to become a doll. A doll was beautiful and was mean to be watched and used and the best, a doll didn't have any emotion. It didn't matter the hits or the insults, a doll didn't feel anything.

I found it difficult at first, but it became easier with time, Xiu's beatings helping in hiding my emotions and making them disappear. I was a doll. I only need to be useful, training my healing ability and reading the books, mostly about plants, from my room, nothing else.

By the time that the emotions disappeared, I couldn't even feel the pain anymore, automatically healing any injury done to my body as normal.

It didn't take long for Xiu's beatings to lower in frequency, finally, mostly stopping without counting the sudden ones. If it was because I learned the lesson and finishing the training or she was getting tired of hitting an unresponsive doll, I didn't know, not that it mattered for a doll.

My life if it could be said as this continued like normal until a became 12 years old. Then, the clan sent me towards Heaven Dou Academy. With my predecessor of the Nine Heart Flowering Apple dying, the clan lost its direct connection with its backing so they were in hurry to obtain a new strong clan to became under them.

So I was sent to the most famous academy of the empire as a show-off, showing my spirit and great talent to the world to find a strong backing to join.

I was threatened by the clan to not break their image. Not that it mattered, I was a doll and I couldn't feel anything. I might have decided to live and discard my emotions to protect my family and friends from the clan's vengeance, but ironically now it didn't matter at all, my feelings for them disappearing with my emotions.

I was meant to be a beautiful flower to show off and see what could be caught with it.

I was easily accepted at the academy and even joined the Emperor Team. I was certainly talented with my spirit and rank 36 at 12 years old. But even changing the place and going away from my clan, nothing changed, I was a doll without emotion.

After a year, three new students, one boy and two girls joined the academy under strange circumstances, in the middle of a semester. Following the words of my teammate Yu Feng, they were very strong.

I met them and helped them with their training following Yu Feng's words. They were certainly strong and smiled while fighting, seeming to enjoy that time, not that it really mattered to me.

The next time that I met one of them, it was only Biyun who was eating alone at the dining hall. She was completely isolated from anyone, rejecting and ignoring any approach to her, it didn't matter if it were boys trying to fawn over her or curious girls trying to talk.

Staring at her dead eyes not fixed in anything, I knew it. She was broken. She was a doll like me. And seeming the stare that I was given, she also knew about me.

From that time, I started passing time with her. Being the same and staying together was quite convenient, fending off the people trying to approach us and not wasting so much time.

I didn't need to be consolidated but somehow knowing another in a similar situation caused a warmth from my chest. The problem was that I quickly discovered that we weren't exactly the same.

When Biyun was with Haotian, she seemed to recover her life, being able to fully smile from the bottom of her heart. While her interactions with the others were an act, Biyun was being honest when she looked at Haotian.

I didn't know if it was for curiosity or for what, but one day I asked Biyun about it. How could see feel so alive next to Haotian?

"Love" She answered. She told me that she loved him with her all. She had already died and it was only for Haotian that she was able to come from hell. Her life was him and he could do anything that he wanted with her, Biyun gladly dying for him as her only purpose was him.

Listening to her, I understood. Haotian was Biyun's master. He is the one over her and the one for what Biyun had been groomed to be. Once my clan finds a powerful clan to join and marry me, would I be like Biyun with my husband? I knew that I would live for that moment, but would I be able to 'love' him? I was pretty sure that the answer would be no.

Sometime later, Biyun requested my help, my knowledge about plants that I learned as there was nothing much to do at that caged room, and I accepted it.

I was guided to a magical Well full of immortal herbs and helped Biyun's group to choose the best herb according to their characteristics.

Breathing the air from the Well, I could feel a warmth feeling entering my body and myself getting stronger, a good feeling being able to sense from it, my spirit wanting to stay here.

I could feel myself in peace here. It wasn't my body feeling good that capacity being long forgotten, but it was my spirit telling me to stay here, feeling incredibly good. Should I stay here forever without worrying about anything?

My spirit shouted a big yes, but before my mind decided, the question was made invalid. I don't know what Haotian did, but he caused the destruction of the Well. That warmth from the Well disappeared, but it wasn't lost, as I could feel exactly the same now from Haotian's body.

"I want you" I said to Haotian who seemed a little shocked and tried to avoid my decision.

"Let's marry" That was the decision. My spirit wanted to be close to him and my clan wanted to find a master, so the answer was clear, marry him.

It was clear that Haotian was from a strong clan even if he tried to hide it for whatever reason, as it was impossible for nobodies to cultivate such three strong talents. If he took me as his wife, taking my clan under his clan, I was sure that the Xie Clan would be happy about it.

Biyun seemed to be happy with him and plus my spirit, I might even start to 'love' him. At worst, everything would continue the same, being a doll myself but at least my spirit being happy. Everything was positive.

Having decided, I quickly took a carriage and returned to the clan wanting to inform them about my decision with Haotian.

However, my plans were broken by a smiling Xie Xiu waiting for me at the door. She told me that my fiance had been already chosen with no way to reject it, breaking any possibility with Haotian and that even the wedding would happen shortly in few weeks.

Then, I was guided to a room to meet my fiance and future husband who was staying at the clan for some days. Opening the door, I was met with piercing purple eyes and short white snow hair.

"Let me present you. Lingling, he is your fiance, Tè Yuan"