Chapter 3: Acedia of Sloth (Mandane)

In the summer of the year 2028, two years before the catastrophic Sanguis-30 virus outbreak, I, Mandane Esfahani, at the age of 16, went on vacation to Greece together with my parents.

As my parents and I headed to Schiphol airport by car, they once again complained about my attitude. "You're about to see your motherland for the very first time, yet you seem as bored as ever," my father complained.

"Come on, honey," my mother tried to calm him down. "You know that Mandane is never excited about anything. She was born that way after all. So let's try to be a little bit understanding, okay?"

"Didn't these scientists say that we could change her personality extremity through upbringing?" He sighed.

My father recalled how he and my mother brought me to all sorts of places and tried out a bunch of things with me.

We went to several museums. We went to several different sports clubs. My father tried his best to figure out what activities I would enjoy. Writing, music, dance, singing, arts, science, linguistics, mathematics, history, philosophy, theology, you name it.

But nothing, nothing made me feel excited. It wasn't that I'm not good at anything. Just that I don't feel the need to put in more effort than necessary. So I deliberately perform average on anything I do.

Also, my sister Maeve ordered me to not unleash my true potential. I think that is for the best too. Since there's never a need for me to go all out.

"At this point, I wonder whether she even likes being alive," my father concluded. "Don't say that!" My mother retorted.

The radio mentioned a meteorite impact on the Atlantic Ocean. Scientists are going to take samples from the meteorite and study its contents. They hope to come across evidence for alien life.

I boarded the airplane with my parents. But to my dismay, there were only two seats per row. My parents sat together, and I sat down on the seats behind them.

I took a seat by the window so that I could watch the sky during the flight. A young, dark-complexioned man came sitting right next to me.

I turned my face toward him at the very same time he turned his face toward me. I noticed that he resembles my sister Benesha.

"Good morning," he smiled. "Hey," I returned the greeting and turned my gaze back to the window.

"I would've liked to have that seat," he chuckled. "I was told by someone, who has blue eyes and white hair just like you, that there is a free seat at the window right at this spot, so we exchanged seats. Turns out she is mistaken; the seat was taken by you. Do you like the outside view during flight?"

"I don't like it, nor do I dislike it," I answered. "Then why do you want to see the outside view?" He asked, confused.

"This is my first time on a plane."

"Really!? That's crazy!"

"Under normal circumstances, I'd have switched seats with you. But because I've never watched out of the window during a plane flight..."

"I get it, don't worry about it," he smiled. I turned my face back to the window. "Wouldn't it be interesting to see outer space?"

"I don't know," I replied. "Would it?"

"I mean, seeing other planets and stuff wouldn't interest you?"

"Not in particular," I yawned. "Should it interest me?"

"What would interest you?"

"I don't know..."

I heard no response from him for what felt like a minute or two. So I turned around to face him, and saw that he was baffled. "Well, I did not expect that kind of response," he chuckled.

I returned my gaze to the window as the pilot alerted everyone on board that he was about to take flight. We were urged to be on our assigned seats with our seat belts on.

As the plane was high up in the sky, the boy sitting next to me said: "You seem to be interested in the outside view, though."

"I guess so."

"Maybe your interest is in seeing, hearing or feeling things you have never experienced before?"

I never considered that. However, I don't think that is it. "Maybe," I replied.

"It's something you should give thought to."

"Have you not figured it out yet?" I sighed, out of boredom. "I have apathy."

"How come?"

"I was born this way."

"Well, then aren't you apathetic about having apathy yet?"

I chuckled after realizing how nonsensical that sounds.

"Did our daughter just chuckle?" I heard my mother ask my father. "Nah, that's impossible," he responded.

"Are your parents sitting in front of us?" The boy asked. "Yes," I answered.

"Hmmm… So you aren't the type to chuckle?"

"Apparently," I replied. "I don't tend to show much emotion."

"Why is that?" He asked, curiously. "Because I barely have any to show," I answered.

"What do you mean?"

"I feel apathetic and anhedonic all the time."

"So you cannot really experience fun or pleasure?"

"Correct."

"Hmmm… I'm going to change that for you. This holiday, I'll make sure you'll have a good time!"

"Hah!" My father laughed. "Good luck with that, son!"

That was my very first encounter with this boy. Never had I ever met someone like him. He was able to go along with my ramblings, and even made me chuckle.

People usually cut me off or never talk to me again whenever they try to socialize with me. Because they don't like my attitude. Yet this boy seems to be amused by me…

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Huh?" He was confused. "Doesn't being apathetic mean you aren't interested in anything?"

"I cannot explain this feeling I have…" I was at a loss for words. "But I am interested in you. I've never felt this way about someone before."

"W-what…" His face turned red for some reason. "You're interested in me in what sense?"

"You're quite fascinating yourself."

"O-oh…" I had no idea why he suddenly became so shy. "Sansula… My name is Sansula."

"That's an exotic name you got there, Sansula," I smiled. "My name is Mandane."

"Your name is exotic too!"

"It's a Persian name."

"What does it mean?"

"It's derived from 'delighting' or 'cheerful'."

"Isn't that ironic?"

"What do you mean?" I pouted.

"You're the exact opposite of that!" I gave him a soft punch on his arm.

"Ouch!"

"Don't exaggerate! I didn't hit you hard!"

"Oh yeah? Do you want me to hit you the same way to find out?"

"I dare you to do it!"

I feel naturally inclined toward him. And I'm sure he feels the same way about me. We eventually fell asleep, resting our heads on each other's.

We woke up when the plane was landing, and both looked at each other embarrassed. "W-where are you going to stay anyway?" He asked.

"Salonika," I answered. "I'll stay at my grandmother's. You?"

"Athens. But we're planning to go to Thessaloniki next week. So I guess we won't see each other during our stay in Greece."

"Thessaloniki and Salonika are the same, silly."

"How was I supposed to know? I'm not Greek!"

"Not my problem."

"Well sorry for not being Greek!"

"Apology rejected!"

"You two should exchange phone numbers," my mother said as she stood beside our seats, smiling. "I'm glad you made your very first friend, Mandane!"

"Mom! Don't say that in front of him! It's embarrassing!"

"Oh I'm sorry," she chuckled.

Sansula and I exchanged phone numbers.

He stood up from his seat, saying,

"I'll see you next week in Salonika, Mandane."

"See you next week…" My tone of voice went back to sounding plain. As soon as he left, all the liveliness I felt vanished. And I went back to feeling listless.

Sansula walked up to a girl who seems to be around our age. She has a beautiful dark-complexion, very dark gray hair and blue eyes. It is none other than Benesha, my sister…

Our eyes met momentarily before she walked away together with Sansula. The two seem pretty close, and not only that, but he really does look just like her.

So I suppose that they are siblings. But how? Aren't her parents infertile? Sansula has black hair and regular eyes, there's no way he's homunculus. So I suppose a miracle did happen for her parents after all…

I suddenly felt an ominous presence in the plane. As I stood up to leave the plane with my parents, I saw a wheat-complexioned girl with white wavy hair and blue eyes walk past me.

Is it my sister Haniya? But what in the world would she be doing here? Benesha is here too, I don't understand. I left my parents and went after the girl.

"Mandane? Mandane?" My parents ran after me.

That girl… She isn't who I think she is, is she? It can't be her. I lost sight of her, though. I was out of breath and felt a bit anxious.

I feared that it was Lilith, and that she is already in the process of trying to take me out, as she swore she would. But I guess I am mistaken. It can't possibly be her…

3.1

I went to my hometown Salonika together with my parents. We stayed with my grandmother; the mother of my mother. Fortunately, I speak Greek fluently so I could converse with her. She was happy to see me for the first time.

Throughout this entire week, Sansula and I chatted with each other on a messaging app on our smartphones.

He was really fond of me, calling me "Mandanetje", a cute pet name that has the suffix -tje, an indication of fondness in the Dutch language.

"I'm infatuated with you."

"I'm really fond of you."

"I like you so much," are among the things he writes to me.

I feel like I am on Cloud 9. This is the first time someone has ever appreciated me and liked me to such an extent.

A week has passed since. I received a message from Sansula, saying he's in Salonika today. I felt something tingling inside my stomach. I guess this is what having butterflies in your belly feels like…

I was in Ladadika District, waiting for Sansula to arrive. "Mandane!" I heard him calling my name. So I turned around and saw him heading my way.

He was, however, accompanied by his older sister; my sister Benesha. And also by some other boy, who was black too.

"Hey!" Sansula smiled. "Hello," I returned the greeting, smiling. Benesha and I exchanged glances, but didn't say anything to each other yet.

"Ah!" Sansula noticed that I was glancing at his older sister. "I forgot to inform you that I wouldn't come alone. I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay," I didn't mind.

"This is my older sister, Benesha. And this is her fiance, Tshikuta." Sansula introduced me to the couple.

"It's nice to meet you, Mandane!" Tshikuta smiled. "I heard that you're Greek yourself. Do you know a good place where we could eat lunch?"

"Of course," I answered. "Follow me."

I don't know why, but I searched for good places to eat or to spend time together before I met up with Sansula.

I've never done something like this before. Sansula makes me experience feelings that I thought I didn't have…

We went together to a restaurant to eat our lunch. We were assigned a table and opened the menu. "So," Benesha looked at me. "What do you recommend we eat?"

"We should start with salad," I recommended. "You can pick between regular Greek salad; this classic salad is made with chopped tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, olives, feta cheese, and a simple vinaigrette dressing. It's refreshing, healthy, and packed with flavor."

"What about Horiatiki Salata?" Sansula asked. "It's similar to the Greek salad, but with the addition of capers, bell peppers, and sometimes artichoke hearts," I answered.

"And Santorini Fava Salad?" Tshikuta asked. "It's made with split yellow peas, red onion, dill, and capers. This creamy and flavorful salad is a unique and delicious option," I answered.

"I'll go for Santorini Fava Salad," Benesha said. "Same here!" Tshikuta wanted the same dish.

"Hmmm, I guess I'll go for Horiatiki Salata," Sansula said. "What about you, Mandane?" I went for a regular Greek salad.

"That's just like you," Benesha chuckled, confusing both her brother and fiance. "I see that you haven't changed one bit," she said, as the waiter brought our salads.

"You two knew each other already?" Sansula asked, surprised. "Yeah," she answered.

"Since when and from where?"

"Since kindergarten," she replied. Well, the laboratory was a kindergarten in a way. So I guess she isn't lying…

"We haven't seen each other in ten years," she said to me. "Don't we have some catching up to do?"

"There's nothing worthwhile that has transpired in my life ever since we got separated," I said. "But I see that you became a big sister, and are about to become someone's wife too. You're still so young, though."

"Tshikuta is a Badilite of noble stock," she said. "It was already determined since my birth that I'd marry him. Anyway, it looks like you get along with my brother."

"Well, yeah. I do."

"It's nice that you two crossed paths again after an entire decade," Tshikuta said. "Let's eat our main dishes. What do you have to say about Souvlaki, Mandane?"

"Marinated meat, like chicken, pork, or lamb grilled on skewers and served in a pita bread with tomato, onion, and tzatziki sauce."

"Hmmm and Gyros?" Benesha asked.

"Similar to souvlaki, but the meat is cooked on a rotating spit and thinly sliced. Gyros are typically served in pita bread with tomato, onion, tzatziki sauce, and sometimes french fries."

"Moussaka seems interesting," Sansula remarked.

"Moussaka is a layered casserole made with eggplant, ground meat, potatoes, and a creamy béchamel sauce. It's a hearty and flavorful dish that is perfect for a special occasion."

"I'll go for Moussaka, since this is a special occasion after all," he smiled. "Why is this a special occasion?" I asked. I was curious to know the answer.

"Because I met a special someone," he looked at me with a bright smile, causing me to blush. I was grateful to him for his kindness and friendliness.

Benesha was eating her Souvlaki, whereas her fiance ordered Gyros. Sansula chose Moussaka as he mentioned before, and I chose to eat Spanakopita; a savory pastry filled with spinach, feta cheese, and herbs. It can be enjoyed as a hot or cold appetizer or main course.

I also ordered Dolmades for all of us to share. Dolmades are grape leaves stuffed with rice, herbs, and sometimes meat. These are a light and flavorful appetizer or side dish.

"Ah! The food was great!" Sansula exclaimed. "Amazing recommendation, Mandane! Thank you!"

"You're welcome," I smiled.

"He's right!" Tshikuta followed up. "The food was delicious!"

"I've never seen you smile before, Mandane," Benesha eyed me. "This is a sight all the other girls would be eager to see."

"Isn't it obvious?" Tshikuta chuckled. "What is?" She asked. "Clearly, she's smiling and blushing because…"

Tshikuta didn't finish his sentence. He did however switch glances between me and Sansula. What is he trying to say?

"Ain't no way," Benesha sighed, shaking her head from left to right.

"We'll see about that!"

"What are we going to do now?" I asked.

"Shouldn't you show us around, madame?" Tshikuta said. "Isn't this your land?"

"I was born and raised in the Netherlands…"

"This is your ancestral homeland!"

"Well, yeah. But I wasn't raised here so I don't know what to do. I'm sorry."

"I just asked my AI chat bot what we can do now," Sansula chimed in the conversation. "It recommended we go to Sealand."

"Sealand? Sounds fun!" Tshikuta likes that idea. Benesha doesn't seem to be excited about it. And I feel indifferent, as usual.

"Let's have some fun, Mandane!" Sansula smiled at me. His smile is truly irresistible…

3.2

The four of us were in Sealand and put our swimsuits on. I have a feeling that someone is ogling me, so I tried to follow my hunch and came face to face with Sansula.

His face got red as he quickly turned his face away from me in embarrassment, apologizing for checking me out. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"

"It's okay," I smiled. I am actually quite happy about it. Because this is the first time a guy ever looked at me that way.

"So, what are we going to do first?" Benesha asked.

"WildRiver!" Tshikuta said.

WildRiver is a river ride of 200 meters down the hill. It was really fun. Afterwards we went to MyriadSlides; four joined water slides used for racing between friends.

"Let's race against each other!" Sansula suggested.

"Sounds fun! I'm in!" Tshikuta agreed.

"I'm cool with racing," Benesha said, "however, are you okay with it, Mandane? Since you don't like to do anything beyond the bare minimum, competitions aren't your Forte."

"For this race, you should go above and beyond, Mandane!" Sansula urged.

"Why should I?" I asked. "You'll get a price from me if you end up beating me in the race," he smiled.

"What price?" I asked, curiously.

"Well, what do you want?" He asked. "You, I want you," I answered, taking him off guard.

"What do you mean by that!?" He exclaimed, flustered.

"I want you for myself," I said. "What don't you understand?"

"She means that she wants to be with you," Benesha sighed.

"Do you like me!?" He asked. "I do," I answered. "Do you like me?" I asked.

"Hmmm who knows? If you beat me in this race, I'll tell you!"

"Ugh! I'll show you!"

"What will you do if I end up saying that I don't like you?"

"I'd still want to be with you regardless," I smiled.

I can see that he has many questions. But I already felt embarrassed enough, so I initiated the start of the race. "Now, let's begin!"

The four of us raced against each other on the slides. In the beginning, Sansula was first, Tshikuta second, Benesha third and I was last.

But Benesha was able to surpass Tshikuta, surprising him. I never went for first place in competitions. I never wanted to be a winner. Because I didn't see the appeal or the necessity in that.

Now, however, things are different. I want to be the best, I want to be victorious. Because there's a price attached to first place that I would love to acquire.

I exerted myself, just a little bit. I put in a little bit of effort. But it was enough to swim past Tshikuta in one go. Benesha swam past Sansula already. But I swam past both of them and took first place.

"Now I know why Superbia ordered you to be on the low…" Benesha said, as she came in second.

Sansula came in third, and I extended my hand out to him with a smile. He returned the smile and took my hand.

"So, where's the price you promised me?" I asked.

He pointed toward his chest; at the place where his heart is located. "My heart," he blushed. "It was love at first sight. I'm in love with you, like head over heels."

My eyes widened, my face turned red. I was not prepared for such a price. "How romantic!" Tshikuta exclaimed.

But I felt guilty in a way. Since I've never experienced such feelings before. I do like Sansula, but I don't know if my feelings toward him are genuine. Or if I just like him because of the fact that he likes me.

It's hard to tell when you've never felt this way about someone before. Also, I don't know if it would work for me to be invested in someone or a relationship. Since I'm slothful after all…

"What is your response, Mandane?" He asked.

"Can you give me some time to think about it?" I asked. "Sure…" I guess he didn't expect me to be doubtful about my feelings.

We heard someone applaud us, for some reason. We all turned around to face the person who was clapping their hands.

And we came face to face with none other than her…

"Lilith…" Benesha gasped in absolute fear.

"That was quite the show you put on, Mandane," she smiled. "And please, Benesha dear, call me Alisha."

Benesha and I were frozen in fear. We didn't know what to do or what to say. "Ah there you are, Alisha," Sansula said, casually. "We were supposed to gather in Ladadika District…"

"I know, I had some delay. Sorry about that."

"It's okay."

"I didn't know you liked someone else though…"

"Well…"

Alisha closed the distance between her and Sansula. "I guess I didn't make it obvious enough that I am into you," she said, as she caressed his cheek, causing him to blush. Shocking Benesha and me.

"I,"— "It's okay. We can't always get what we want in life," Alisha interrupted him. "Even though your parents got us engaged. You dummy…"

Alisha ran off in tears. And I felt devastated. "Mandane, it's not what you think…" He said.

"Where do you know her from?" I asked.

"My parents adopted her."

"You two seemed more intimate than siblings."

"You're mistaken."

"You two are engaged?"

"I never complied with the engagement."

I sighed, and decided to go back home. Benesha hit Sansula on his head. "You idiot," she said, looking at him with a disgusted facial expression.

"Tshiku, we're leaving! This fool needs some alone time to think about his mistakes!" Benesha grabbed Tshikuta by his wrist and walked off with him, leaving Sansula all by himself.

Benesha and Tshikuta walked past me, and she turned around, saying: "I know that my little brother is an idiot, but this may be Lilith's attempt to psychologically destroy you."

"I don't think so," I sighed. "He reacted funny when she was around."

"That's just his male instincts kicking in," Tshikuta said. "Don't worry about it."

"How can I not worry about it? And I didn't know your parents took her in, Benesha."

"Trust me, she is scheming something behind the scenes. Don't make her play around with your mind, Mandane."

3.3

When I got back home, I noticed that I received several text messages from Sansula wherein he apologized profusely for what happened. I didn't read all of it, since there were more than 20 messages. He explained that he doesn't want to marry Alisha, and sees her as just a sister.

I decided to forgive him, and give him another chance, which delighted him. Though unfortunately for him, he and his family are going to head back to the Netherlands the next day. So he doesn't have the opportunity to see me again.

Sansula feels distant ever since he is back in the Netherlands. Not just physically but also through text. He doesn't respond as quickly to my messages, nor does he text me as much as he used to.

What makes matters worse, is that he once called me "Alisha" by accident. So I feel distrustful of him. I sent messages of complaints to him about his attitude, but he once again was busy with the stupid military, since he joined the Dutch Military Youth Division (DMYD) so he doesn't always reply immediately.

In the end, he frustratedly said: "Maybe we should just stop talking to each other". It hurt me a lot. He is my best friend, and someone I am in the process of falling in love with…

Sansula lives in Amsterdam, and I live in Tilburg. The Netherlands is a small country but our cities aren't close enough to see each other on a daily basis. And he's busy all the time, too.

Busy with what? With school? And the military? Or with Alisha? He must find me boring and uninteresting, since I have no hobbies or interests in life. Unlike Alisha, who is as beautiful as Haniya, as elegant as Maeve, as zealous as Benesha… There's no way I can beat her.

I should have seen this coming. Why would anyone come to like me? There is no way anyone would fall in love with me, or enjoy my company.

It's really unfortunate, though. Sansula is the only single thing I've felt interested in. I was invested in him, drawn toward him, only to lose him in the end...

I decided to ghost Sansula. I don't know how long I will be here. This happened in March 2029. On April 15th, my 17th birthday, Sansula sent me a happy birthday message. And I thanked him for it.

He asked me if he could call me, and I declined, and asked how he was doing…

"I'm fine, but I wonder why you suddenly left, Mandane."

"Huh?"

"I told you that I wouldn't want you to do anything you aren't comfortable with. Did I again do something I shouldn't have done? Or do I still come off as distant to you?"

"I don't know. I've begun to believe that I've been playing with you this entire time. That's my answer to your declaration of love."

Sansula urged me to continue talking to him, despite the fact that I unequivocally expressed that his feelings aren't mutual. But after a week or two, he blocked me. I guess because he couldn't bear to do this anymore.

I was so stupid. I should have blocked him myself the moment Alisha appeared…

I applied for this utopia school the Dutch government built in the City of Utrecht, called "Utrecht Metropolitan Self-Development School", a mouthful.

This school has its own campus, dormitories, shopping center, anything you can think of. All to keep the students on the school grounds.

The school is a modern and well-equipped institution. It features state-of-the-art facilities, advanced technology, and a carefully designed environment to support the educational and developmental needs of its students.

The school has various amenities, including spacious classrooms, advanced laboratories, and recreational areas.

The school's mission is to shape diamonds of the young Dutch population, who are all like stones; they have yet to awaken their true potential and become the best version of themselves.

After summer vacation ended, I entered the school grounds with my suitcase on Monday, August 26th, 2030. "Mandane?" I heard a very familiar voice. I turned around, and came face to face with my sister Benesha…