Chapter 2

I was pissed when I left the coffee shop, mainly with myself and mainly with the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about what happened.

I stepped outside and then started running. My feet didn't take me far. I had to stop several meters later and throw up on the side of the road. This time it wasn't the morning sickness but the fact that Arthur had managed to turn his life around and forget about me already.

It was time to stop feeling sorry for myself and fight through this misery. I couldn't bring this unexpected baby into this world. I never thought that I could cry over a man, and now here I was.

When I stopped being violently sick and was able to stay on my feet again, I started walking back to the cottage. My head throbbed with agonising pain, my vision was blurry. Everything about my existence felt shitty and pointless. The truth was that I wasn't capable of looking after myself, much less a newborn child. I had no stable home, no income, and I didn't know if I could fully commit myself to being a parent.

If Arthur only knew that there was even a slight possibility that he could be a father he'd condemn my plans. I shook my head, slapping myself hard. Yeah, I had to move forward and shut down the nostalgic voices in my head. This decision was mine and there was nothing that anyone could say that would change my mind.

Ronan came home around nine o'clock in the evening. The days were longer in the summer and I spent time sitting outside, trying to stay positive. I had been thinking about what to do next, long and hard, so after exhausting a few hours I welcomed him at the door.

I had to consider talking to Ricky too. He wouldn't approve of my decision. Well, he most likely would try to talk me out of it. I needed to remind myself that Ricky had stood beside me since we set up the business together, and his opinion meant a great deal to me.

"What is it, Maxine? I don't have the time for a chat. Mrs. Robinson is waiting for her parcel," Ronan said, passing me on the way to the kitchen. As usual he was in a hurry, but I had to tell him what I decided.

"Ronan, I'm ready to go through with what we discussed earlier on. I need your help," I blurted out, almost shaking. He finally stopped and turned around. His eyes were gleaming again, and there was a hint of relief in his expression.

"Be more clear, Maxine," he said.

"Termination. I need to not be pregnant, Ronan," I hissed, feeling so incredibly guilty and disappointed. I was a terrible person even thinking about abortion. Maybe one day Lucifer would get his hands on me, and I would get punished for all my sins, but right now I was ready for anything in order to stay on earth, to survive.

Ronan exhaled sharply and his eyes flickered at the corners. He approached me slowly and then placed his palms on my arms.

"What made you change your mind?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter. I've made my decision. My life is miserable enough and I'm not ready to bring a child into this world even if there is only a slight chance that Arthur could be the father," I said, lying to him and myself. It was much easier to decide after learning that he was finally happy in his own life.

"There is a way, but we have to use magic. Are you absolutely sure that you want to do this?" he asked, like he needed to torture me a bit longer.

"Yes, Ronan, I'm sure," I said. "So tell me when?"

"Tonight. We leave at midnight. Concentrate on your demonic energy because you'll need it. I have to be somewhere soon, wait for me in the cottage," he told me, grabbed a box from the cupboard, and left me alone again.

I wished that I could not feel guilty, but the voice of reason kept reminding me that I had to keep on living. Ricky was my friend and I was supposed to prepare him for the worst. Ronan didn't have a phone and my mobile was off. I wanted to be unreachable in case other demons tried to track me down.

My fingertips sparkled when I went up to take a shower. For a moment I stood in the water wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I made this baby, so it was my responsibility to take care of it. I couldn't simply kill it. Soon my thoughts were interrupted by a foreign energy that rolled through my spine. There was a demon nearby and I knew for a fact that it wasn't Ronan. No one apart from Ricky knew where I was, so I automatically got suspicious.

I put some clothes on and opened the door, spreading violent energy around the cottage. After walking around for ten minutes strongly, I couldn't detect anyone. Maybe my paranoia had reached a new level or maybe I truly wanted to be found.

The stranger's energy stayed with me until Ronan arrived home. He didn't seem to sense anyone, so I didn't say anything. He'd lived alone for so long and now I had to adapt to his old eccentric ways.

"What should I expect tonight?" I finally asked when the clock on the wall pointed at eleven o'clock.

"Expect some pain. There is a special ritual that we have to follow, and only Sonia can produce such a strong potion," Ronan said. I sighed loudly and began asking myself if this was exactly what I wanted.

The physical pain, yeah, I could deal with that, but the emotional one was pulling me under the grave, disturbing my healing process.

"So who is this woman? I suspect she is a demon, right?" I asked, rubbing my hands over my old jeans. My gut all of a sudden was filled with heavy bricks and I felt even shittier than earlier.

Ronan changed his clothes and now was wearing mostly black. I felt on edge. Even my demonic energy seemed on alert.

"Sonia is extremely knowledgeable. She's a mongrel like you. Hell has been hunting her for as long as I can remember, so she moves around often," Ronan explained, packing odd-looking flasks into his bag. Well, that didn't sound great. I was supposed to trust a mongrel that had been on the run for God knew how long. At the same time I had no other choice. I couldn't keep this baby.

Maybe in the future I would feel guilty for the rest of my life, but right at this moment I had to think about myself and Arthur.

Half an hour later we left the cozy cottage and headed towards the coastline. I kept walking, assuring myself that this was the right thing to do. None of this seemed real, and I still hadn't spoken to Ricky.

Ronan as usual wasn't saying much as we passed his dearest fishing village in complete darkness. There were no humans on the streets, and somehow I was glad of that. I didn't need to speak to anyone.

My heart began thumping faster when we moved through the fields that were situated on top of the steep cliffs. The tide was in, and with every passing minute, I began doubting myself, contemplating if there was another way. The navy sky was filled with heavy clouds.

This small little creature inside my stomach felt like it was connecting with me already.

"She will be in one of the caves, and she knows that we're coming," Ronan muttered, when the path began moving down towards the shore filled mainly with stones.

I swallowed hard and told myself that I needed to keep going. Right now things were difficult for me, but that didn't mean that I couldn't be happy some day.

The tide was coming in and strong waves beat against the rocky shore. There were long steep cliffs on each side. In front of us there were just blocks of rocks, and I really wasn't sure where he was taking me.

As soon as we approached the end of the rocks, Ronan turned around.

"The strong tides shape caves on the outside, so we have to get slightly wet to find Sonia," he informed me. I didn't want to be here, but right now bailing out wasn't something that I was ready to do. Ronan moved his man bag to the other side of his shoulder and started climbing through the rocks along the cliff.

We didn't get slightly wet, we got soaked with seawater. The tide was going to be high this evening. Along the coast, as we climbed higher, finally reaching the cave that was shaped by strong current, dangerous rocks stuck out from each side. I saw a light as we moved closer. My demonic soul detected a mongrel close by.

Sonia must have used magic in order to create this space for herself. In the distance, any boat would notice the light, so this cave wasn't a particularly great hiding place, but her magic was possibly much more advanced. Sonia was using very particular spells, and this wasn't the best time or place to start asking questions.

By the time we both were inside, Ronan's breath was laboured. It was a hell of a trip, even for a tough older guy like him. I was freezing cold, ready to skip the introductions and just get on with the task. Ronan's expression was as usual unreadable.

"So you found me. Deep down I thought you wouldn't." The voice of a woman startled me slightly. She stood hidden underneath the rock. Sonia, the half demon that Ronan told me about appeared to be in her late forties. She had long dark hair and sharp Nordic features.

Ronan released some of his protective energy, and I tried to relax. The demon that stood in front of me was supposed to help me get rid of the problem. She had red

eyeshadow above her hazel eyes, wide cheeks and narrow lips. She was dressed in ordinary clothes, old jeans and a long sleeve dirty shirt.

My instincts reminded me that my options were limited. I couldn't risk bringing the mongrel baby into this world, the tiny creature that could possibly have royal blood in its veins.

"You forgot that I know this area better than anyone," Ronan stated, dropped the bag, and embraced Sonia in a strong but friendly hug. I scratched my head, wondering what the hell this was about, but kept my opinions to myself. They obviously must have known each other from the past.

"How are you doing, my old friend?" she asked, once they were no longer embracing. "And who is the scruffy half demon?"

"Hey, I'm standing right here," I barked, and her eyes gleamed. Okay, so I was wet, my clothes were dirty, and my hair all over the place, but still she didn't have to be rude.

"Maxine, this is Sonia," Ronan introduced us, ignoring his friend's comment. "She's here because we need your help with a particular case."

I wanted to laugh that he called my misfortune a case, but Ronan had lost his sensitive nature when he stopped working for the royals.

I looked around the cave, seeing that she must have slept in the corner on some old clothes. The cave was lit with candles, and there were flasks, herbs, and some dead insects on the small table. Sonia seemed settled here. I didn't know her story, but Ronan mentioned that she was hiding, and living like that only confirmed it.

"You're expecting a mongrel baby," she said, walking around me. Her energy was powerful, rising fast and linking with my own.

Cold shivers crawled over my spine when she mentioned the baby. I had no idea how she knew, how she suspected that I had slept with a human.

"Yes, I am and my situation is complicated. Ronan mentioned that you can help me to get rid of it," I said, already hating myself for it, for treating it like an unnecessary burden. God, I was terrible. Her eyes gleamed even more, and she smiled.

"Well, that's my expertise, but I don't think that you're fully convinced you are ready for it," she stated, like she was reading my mind.

"I can't keep it," I insisted, feeling even more conflicted about everything.

"Does the father know?"

"I'm not quite sure who is the father," I added, wanting to be done talking about it.

I felt like this was a job interview.

"Ronan, take a seat," she said. "I have to prepare a certain potion. If she is sure,

then we can proceed."

My stomach made a funny jolt filling with dread. Ricky would have talked me out

of it, but there was no time. I had a feeling that Sonia wasn't planning to stay in here for long.

She went to the table and started mixing stuff, mumbling formulas that didn't make much sense. Images of Arthur and all the other men that I had hooked up with in the past began rolling through my mind.

I started pacing around the cave, aware of the rising power that circulated around, growing with my heartbeat. If someone had said several months ago that I would be sitting in the cave on the outskirts of some remote village trying to find a way to get rid of the baby that I was carrying inside, I wouldn't have believed it. Now it was my doomed reality.

I knew that I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror once the deal was done.

"The potion is done. Now you just have to drink it and forget about it. The magic will do what it is supposed to," she said. I looked at her then, realising that the moment had come. I stood up ready to make a decision, ready to kill an innocent human being.