7 Haruhi is cute

Read that again.

That's right. Haruhi is cute.

Last night, she washed the dishes and broke a plate. I picked it up and got wounded by one of the shards that lied on the ground.

I should've used a broom, but goddamn is Haruhi cute.

No, no, no. You don't understand, reader. Yes, I'm speaking to you. The one reading this story. She's cute as heck, my dudes and dudettes. She slips and hits her head? She's hella cute. She asks me to teach her to cook basic food? She's hella cute.

This daughter of mine is hella cute.

Not really my biological daughter.

But you guessed it.

She's hella cute.

"Uhh, Kuro? You're looking at Haruhi in a very disgusting manner, what's up?"

A voice behind me rung. I didn't even need to look back as I heard a dog's quick panting and I immediately knew it was Yume.

"Yume."

"Yes?"

She sat beside me together with her dog as we watched Haruhi play by the lake in the park we both frequent, named Central Park. Very aptly named if you asked me, lazy but gets the job done. Good job, whoever named this park.

"Haruhi's cute, isn't she?"

I let these words slip out of my mouth and Yume looked at me like I was the Mayor of Garbage Town.

"Kuro, are you perhaps a lolicon?"

I lied down on the grass and hugged her very obedient Golden Retriever's legs.

"I've been hearing that these past days and I'm currently wondering..."

I paused for a bit and started rolling around which made Yume wonder if I'm still sane or not. Probably not, I don't know.

"Uhh. Kuro?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a lolicon, aren't you?"

"If I said no, would you believe me?"

"No."

"Then it is a trick question and I will not answer it."

"Okay, lolicon."

"But I'm not! She's just... cute! As! Heck!"

***

After everything has calmed down, I sat back up.

"So, what brings you here?"

"Jogging."

"Oh, right. You do seem fit for your age."

I checked her out, still wearing the same outfit she wore when I first met her. She rolled up her sleeves which gave me a glimpsed on her toned muscles. Which is the right way to go, not all those macho type of crap which makes your body heavy.

This is why us with only toned muscles has an edge over body builders because we can perform acrobatic maneuvers easily.

"Yeah, unlike a certain person here beside me neglecting exercise because he's got a cute 'daughter'"

This little... I'd strip and show her my glorious abs but she'd probably call the police on me for

glorious nudity. Maybe even the inquisitors 'cause these abs are blasphemous.

So I just stayed quiet.

"By the way, Kuro. You're not in college? Already graduated?"

"Oh, nah. Actually gonna enroll this semester in a close college."

"Oh... What major?"

Oh crud, I didn't think of that.

"Not too sure, for now. I'll look into it."

"Hmm, for a college freshmen you seem like you already have a lot of work experience."

I rubbed my chin.

"Hmm, yeah, I guess?"

"What job did you do?"

She tilted her head to the side, which her dog comically copied. I just smiled and said

"Sanitary Engineer."

***

"Anyways, Yume. We're leaving. See you around and good luck with your work out or something."

I stood up. Haruhi, seeing this, rushed to my arms.

"Bye, bye, Mama Yume!"

My hand twitched and eyes opened wide.

"H-Haruhi, what did you say?"

"Mama Yume!"

"Uhh... Why?"

I questioned Haruhi's intentions.

Look, I know you're cute but this is just so random that it caught me off guard.

"Why 'Mama Yume'?"

"Yume is not Mama Yume?"

She looked at me with puppy eyes.

Hey, that's unfair.

"Y-Yeah, Yume is just Yume. Right, Yume?"

I switched my attention to Yume.

...

Yume... Don't just sit there and hug your legs in an attempt to hide your embarrassment. I can see your ears turn even redder than an apple.

"Heh heh... Mama Yume.. Hehehe..."

... This girl is a lolicon.

"Oy, Lolicon."

I called to her.

"I'm not a lolicon!"

Says the lolicon.

Speaking of...

"Haruhi, when's your birthday?"

She put her index finger on her cheeks and tilted her head. Damn, that's cute.

"Hmm? I think it's May 12?"

... Shit. That's 2 days from now.

"Is there something you want from Papa?"

Yume, hearing this, gave me the same look. But this time, I'm the King of Garbage Kingdom.

"I want a younger sibling!"

She smiled and jumped. Her smile radiating as much sunlight as the sun in the midst of summer. A.K.A Full of pressure.

I looked over at Yume who's as red as a beet now. What a level up from an apple.

She noticed me looking at her and roared

"NO! I-I-I won't do that!"

You lil shit it's my time to poke some fun into you now. It's payback time.

"Do what?"

I played dumb and tilted my head.

"T-The younger sibling thing!"

"The whaaaat?"

I tried my best not to laugh so I probably had the creepiest grin you'll ever see right now.

"Screw you, Kuro! You're disgusting! Sex offender!"

I kid you not, she picked her dog up and threw her at me.

"OY! SOME ORGANIZATION THAT STARTS WITH "P" AND ENDS WITH "A" WILL COME KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR IF YOU DO THESE KINDS OF THINGS!"

"SHUT UP!"

She retorted as she ran aimlessly just to escape the situation.

Just to clarify, I caught the dog. I don't want that organization to also come knocking on my door.

***

After we found out that "Mama Yume" is actually a lolicon, we left the park and went home. After lounging for a bit, Haruhi asked me to teach her more dishes to cook. I taught her a couple of easy dishes a nine year old could handle.

"Thank you, Papa!"

She smiled and went back to cooking.

"No problem, just call me if you need help."

"Will do!"

I left the kitchen and lounged again in the living room playing on my laptop.

"Ahh, It's been awhile since I just chilled in here."

I opened my laptop after weeks of not using it. As I opened the lid, a familiar sound played.

*tum tu-tum tum* *closed high hats* and a flash of a popular black and yellow logo has appeared.

And in a blink of an eye, the logo disappeared.

"Ah!"

The woman on the screen moaned.

I haven't closed something that quick in my life, I think I broke the screen.

"... Papa..."

My body hair stood up as I felt Haruhi's breath behind me creeping up. I don't even need to look at her right now to know that she's looking at me with eyes of person who has given up on someone.

And that someone is me.

"H-Haruhi, I-I can explain."

"No, Papa. You don't need to..."

She left and continued cooking.

***

"Uhh, Haruhi... Why is my bowl of rice only filled half way?"

"I don't know, I wonder."

She's definitely mad...

"I-I'm gonna get some more..."

I stood up with my bowl to go the rice cooker which is on the kitchen counter. As I opened the rice cooker, a fork has impaled my bowl which shattered it to pieces, leaving the rice inside unscathed and still in the form of the bowl.

... Fuck my life.