6 An Uninvited Guest

If you ask me why I'm sitting like an obedient dog right now, it'd be a long answer it'll take 2 chapters.

"Uhh.. w-why are you here?"

I mumbled.

"HUH?!"

The middle aged woman with short, layered hair in front of me raised her tone. She put her bag on the coffee table.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

She continued. I closed my eyes in fear of what's to come but Haruhi, who's also sitting by my side sprung into action.

"D-Don't bully Papa!"

I know you mustered all your strength just to say that but Haruhi... That doesn't help your Papa at all...

"KURO!"

"YES!"

She paused for a bit and looked at me with eyes of piercing judgment.

Please let it end.

"I didn't know you were such a lolicon."

"But I'm not!"

I protested.

"Yeah! Papa is not "lolicon"! He's Papa!"

Haruhi, I know you're trying to help me but I'm pretty sure you don't even know what lolicon means and you're just digging both of our graves right now.

"When I heard you quit being a hitman, I was wondering what happened. "

She crossed her arms.

"So I came here and now I understand why."

"Mom, look. You don't-"

I tried to protest but she just put her hands on her forehead and massaged it.

"Where did I go wrong raising you?"

"Mom, I'm not a lolicon!"

"Then what do you call this situation?!"

She pointed at me.

Ah, I want to die.

"I'm calling the police."

She pulled her phone out.

"Hey, hey, hey! Let me explain for a bit!"

***

After explaining how and where I found Haruhi and our current situation, Mom's eyes started tearing up.

"Oh noooooo..."

She walked behind Haruhi and hugged her tightly. Haruhi, confused as ever, looked at me with "help me" eyes.

"You poor thing!"

Mom hugged her even tightly.

"So your name is Haruhi? I'm Sara, Kuro's mother."

"H-help, Papa..."

"Mom, you're choking Haruhi."

"Shut up, lolicon."

She looked at me with disgust.

"Right."

I looked down and nodded apologetically to Haruhi. We moved places, mom's sitting on the couch with Haruhi trapped inside her crossed legs and bombarded with hugs and headpats while I sit on the ground in front of them.

"So what are you gonna do now? You mentioned school for Haruhi and college for you. You live in Central City and there's a lot of schools and colleges here, where are you going to study?"

"Somewhere nearby that has both middle school and college so that we won't be too far from each other."

She paused for a bit.

"How about Aurum College?"

Hmm, she's right. It's just a 10 minute cab ride from here.

"I'll consider it. It's still the summer break and enrollment's still not open."

"Should I come with you? Can't miss the chance Haruhi enters school!"

I shake my head.

"Mom, that's a recipe for disaster."

"The only disaster here will be your face if you say no."

"Alright, alright, fine."

I sighed. Mom's tongue is razor sharp today.

"You guys had lunch yet?"

Mom finally let Haruhi go, who jumped straight towards me.

"Nope, I was cooking when you barged in."

I pointed at the broken window.

She laughed.

"Just call the maintenance department here, they'll fix that in no time."

"Sure, but it'd really help if you give me extra cash for that."

"What are you saying? You're a hitman, you have a lot of cash."

"Former hitman."

"Doesn't matter, you probably have millions in your account."

"So do you."

She just laughed and continued cooking what I was cooking earlier.

"Grandma is scary..."

Haruhi said as soon as Mom left.

"Haruhi..."

I rubbed my forehead.

"Don't call me grandma!"

"I-I'm sorry! What should I call you, then?"

"Call me Mama!"

"HEY, THAT'D BE WEIRD."

I interjected at my mom's stupid proposal.

"Oh, right. You're his "papa". I guess Aunt Sara would be better than Grandma."

Ah... It's a disaster in here.

***

After eating, Haruhi volunteered to do the dishes, which delighted my Mom.

"Thank you!"

Mom said cheerfully.

"And you, we need to talk. Just you and me."

Mom looked at me with serious eyes.

"Alright."

She went to the living room and asked me to sit down with her on the couch.

"Did you find out anything about that mansion?"

"What do you mean?"

I looked at her with confusion.

"Are you positive it's an Assassin training camp?"

She looked at me seriously.

"From what I saw, I assumed it was suicide at first. But when Haruhi told me it's an assassin training camp, it made sense.

"Kuro, Assassins have been illegal for the past five years. Not like they were legal before, but underground crime syndicates have stopped training assassins for a long time now because it was deemed that poison assassinations aren't humane."

"Huh?! It's the first time I heard of that."

But she's not wrong. Assassin's were looked down because they used painful means of killing. Mostly through poisons which isn't considered humane.

"I have my connections, Kuro. It's true."

"Then that means this isn't the end of it, huh."

"I'm afraid you stumbled into some kind of rabbit hole."

She said worryingly.

"And it seems that what she's telling is true."

"How did you know?"

"The meal she ate today, I put some poison in it."

"Mom! Why?!"

"Part of an assassin's training is poison immunity. You know that, Kuro. Even hitmen have that."

She pulled out an empty vial of home concocted poison from her bag.

"I know, but aren't you retired?! Why are you still carrying poison bottles around?!"

I snatched the bottle.

"You wouldn't know when you'll need it, honey."

Assassins are crazy. Retired or not.

"Anyway, I'm going home now. I just checked on you. I got an appointment with my co-retirees."

"I'm surprised you guys haven't killed each other yet with your pranks."

She just laughed.

"Me too."

... Too crazy for me.

"Haruhi! I'm leaving now!"

She gathered her belongings and stood up.

"Take care, Aunt!"

"You too! Don't let this lolicon do something to you!"

"Alright, alright, just leave now, Mom. Thank you for visiting."

***

"The poison Aunt brought didn't taste nice."

My eyes widened in shock as I heard Haruhi say those words.

"You knew?!"

"Papa, are you making fun of me?"

"N-No, I mean. If you knew why did you eat it?!"

"Cause it tastes better than Papa's cooking."

I felt like I turned into sand waiting for the wind to blow me away.

"Just kidding!"

Ah... Haruhi's smiles are my salvation.