2 chapter-2 the deep well of love

He is an engineer, and has begun a start-up recently 'she mentioned. I wasn't taken aback, but deep down I was totally surprised. I figured that she would end up with someone who is more practical rather than someone who is philosophical and analytical. She sipped her coffee and asked for another teaspoon of sugar cubes.The conversation started turning out to be more self-centred, she understood this and asked me "Do you remember when Amma used to prepare Tea for us, back at Calcutta?"

"How can I forget that" I replied. She dropped the sugar cubes into her cup and stared at me and shot "How could you do that to me ? I thought our love was genuine and you loved me too ,I thought you felt for me, just the way I did, you are just too bad at goodbyes aren't you? or is that another excuse I should say ? You could've jotted down a few things before u left. You contributed to nothing, you left abruptly, with me broken for the next part of my days. Were you happy when it all ended?"

There was a pause.

I couldn't carry on with something like "let me clear things up" or "I can provide you with an explanation" because honestly, I couldn't. "Moving outskirts was necessary at that point in my life, and my folks wanted me to earn a living" I replied. "You were always poor with excuses; remember when you got busted for smoking?" Her questioning nature was still the same with the identical timbre and the same grim look radiating from her face. "I am sorry". I did not have the right words to voice, to console her to the least. To apologise was the only and the universal way of saying that the deed one has done is not a good one, so I stuck to it. The atmosphere started to lighten after the smoking joke. "Amma always thought we would make a great pair, she was devastated when you left." She said with a cold tone which mimicked the one aunt Fatima mastered. "How is she?' I asked. "She is dead. A couple of months after you left, the guards found her body in the nearby ghat. She must have drowned, as claimed by the mumbling masses. I heard so when I reached the spot." "I'm sorry" I replied yet again. "Yeah,yeah enough of that for now. Sorry, huh, do you even know the weight of that word?" .I did not have an answer for the first time in a while now.

The summer of 95' saw Reema running through the verandas, chasing maids, tasting hot pickles from the rooftop, playing hide and seek as she fluttered amongst the wet sarrees that were put up to dry in the scorching Calcutta heat. A cuckoo would call for her mate , waiting on the branch of the banyan tree, viewing worshipers tie threads of love, fear and anguish onto its stem. One fine day , Reema and I were sitting on the cornfield near the ghat when she said "My grandparents want me to get married by the next couple of years, and I cannot make do with some random guy. You know it well don't you?" "yes" I replied. There was a pause amidst our conversation, but she was quick to break the ice. " I want to live with you Nischit, I can't live with some random stranger, and we also make a great pair . Why don't you just ask your parents straight away so that we can proceed as soon as possible , before my grandparents find some other old grumpy man whom I will be bound to call my husband. I have loved you ever since you were ten, you are seventeen now and can soon earn your living , I'll talk to amma too, it all just fits perfectly piece to piece , just like a jigsaw puzzle." There was another pause for a moment. I wasn't sure. Well marriage is hectic and is sizeable, its not some jigsaw puzzle and how would such a young girl understand that. Its not that I've never have had feelings for her, but wasn't this all too sudden? I asked myself. I needed to answer her with utmost care and diligence. 'I guess its not that easy , but yes it is not unfeasible either." I replied. I hesitated with each and every word . every movement might prove to be fatal, This was all too fast , I thought to myself. The cicada's kept singing during the pause. The fruit vendor passed with a sense of achievement as he had earned a decent amount the day. 'you wont do it, will you?' she asked . ' I have to move outskirts next year for further learning, probably' I replied. Tears rolled down her eyes and slithered past her rosy cheeks. This day had been waiting for us. For a whole lifetime I felt like it did, she got up, and the sound of the green grass being brushed away gave me chills, she was silent. So were we. It was noon now , and the temple bell rang ,giving us a sense of alarm. 'I should go home now, it's late already.' She spoke up after quite some time.

'Was it sweet enough?' I questioned pointing towards the mug of coffee sitting before her, she replied that it was. I wanted to ask her if she would spare some time for a drink or two, but I was confused and anguished. A few beats later, mustering up all pure courage available to one's true self I asked, "There's a bar nearby, shall we go and grab something to drink?' I asked.

"I can't "she replied.

For the first couple of moments I thought that she was possibly feeling discomfort and disagreeable , but then she spoke up "I am expecting a baby Nischit, I can't drink or smoke , the doctor has strictly restricted my movements too." I was bugged truthfully , how filthy minded was her man to leave her in this state , and without any further hesitation I asked her where he was . "He has not come home for the last couple of weeks , says he's busy in the office." She had a downcast and miserable look plastered on her face. I understood what that was about. "I am so sorry to hear that he is not providing you with enough time" I said, 'But I am sure he still cares about you' .A single tear drop abandoned her eye, similar to the one that had stained her cheeks for me at one time. They say time flies, fast enough that it wont let you get a hold of it .

"He doesn't, if he did I would receive a call every so often at minimum with him checking up on how things are going. It's just as I figured out on my first month of pregnancy itself."

'What is it?' I asked

"He doesn't want the baby now" she spoke with grief this time .