02

Diana Clark lives in a two-bedroom apartment along with her older brother. Their parents had passed away a couple of years ago; a few months before Diana had started her senior year, and ever since they had been closer than you thought was possible. Diana had completed her second year of college at NYU. Her brother currently worked for a public relations firm. Diana's brother, Tommy had sold their parents house and paid off the debt on his little apartment. Diana had been mad when she found out that he had sold her childhood home. That, however, all faded when she learnt that he had invested much of the inheritance into her college life. They had a lot of savings between the two of them, but with Tommy working a shitty job, their outgoings were much bigger than the income. This was something which was fine until Diana finished colleges, but after those two years, they would find themselves in a difficult situation unless Diana at least contributed a little part to there family pot. In the current time, his girlfriend did help a lot, especially with things like the water bill and electricity if she spent a significant number of days here over than her own place.

Diana wasn't that surprised to find her brother sat at the dining room table with a bunch of his friends. First, there was his girlfriend Sophie, a twenty-five-year-old, who still hadn't figured out which path to take. She had bounced from job to job, trying to find something that excited her, and she passionate about, but she was unsuccessful. She was currently working in a bridal shop. However, unlike anyone else sat at this table she had the support of her parents who really didn't give a damn if she had a stable job or not.

Next, there was Lucy, a twenty-six-year-old trainee accountant, out of everyone in this room, she was the one that would rise fastest and highest. This, however, put a risk of her burning fast, which had happened to so many young and driven individuals. Following her, we had Andrew, who worked alongside Tommy. They had originally gotten off to a bad start, due to being too similar, but once they got talking about the sport, it was all okay. Then again guys were a lot more laid back than your standard girl. First impressions didn't matter for them, they could punch each other one minute and gig each other the next. Lastly, there was Jack who out of everyone in this room was the most broke. At the age of seventeen, he had been signed to a modelling agency, and although, he had stared in some big campaigns; work was lacking at the moment. He had fallen into this position having found himself homeless with just a few weeks of high school left.

"Do you want some food?" Tommy asks his sister as she removes her light jacket before hanging it up on one of the three wooden pegs that were nailed by the door. Diana looks over at the table to see the lasagna in the middle of it, it had nearly gone. She could still smell the sweet tasted and even if it was on the dishevelled side of things, it was still looking pretty damn good. Tommy noticing his sister expression or worry added on the words. "Sophie cooked it." Diana bites her lip, they were sore from her earlier accountant and did her best not to wince. She pulled a chair closer to the table. She began to slowly eat the food.

She listened to her brother and his friends talk about plans for the weekend, and parties to attend. Diana wasn't bothered by what her brother did or didn't do; she would make her own plans with her own friends. It's not like she didn't like any of them, in fact, she and they had often found themselves with the same people in the same place. Due to Jack always being broke he had a habit of hanging around the college campus in order to help photography or media students with course work that they needed to complete.

"So Kelsey asked me out." Lucy said once her eyes had crossed her Diana. She didn't need to be friends with the girl to know she had her issues, but she had never once had a serious conversation in her life. She dates a guy for three years, and rather than breaking up with him, she moved to a different state and stopped replying to his messages. It was only after three months of this behaviour did he send a message to break up with her, only for her to reply 'okay.' While Diana had laughed over this story the first time she had heard it, it was kind of heartbreaking that this girl nearly ran as much as she did, but yet Lucy would pretend that everything surrounding Diana was fine and dandy.

So her words did exactly what she wanted, took the question that Tommy would no doubt ask if his sister was doing okay, but she didn't want to see Diana cry and this was enough to get the conversation on to a happier line.

Once she had finished eating her food; she wandered into her bedroom. Her room was the smallest of the two bedrooms. She shared the bathroom with her brother which had not caused as many arguments as she would have originally thought. Her room was a mess, having grown up in a decent-sized detached house in the countryside, a lot of the things she owned were now in storage. Her room, however, was cluttered with clothes, shoes, purses and other items of sentiments value including a number of photo albums of her family. Funny enough she had brought very few guys back to her room, it wasn't the fact that her brother cared about her antics, she didn't exactly live in the best part of town and her room was so cluttered that it put a lot of people who didn't know her off.

Diana had no issue with her brother or his friends, but there were moments where she wanted to be alone. She closed her door and stepped out her tight dress. It was like she could breathe for the first time in a while. The window was open, it was something she had been doing since she first moved into the room. While at night it made it difficult to sleep due to the mass amount of traffic that travelled down there rather a run-down street she just liked the cool air filling up the room. She walked to her bed and fell onto it. She had made the sheets this morning before leaving to see Nolan, she could smell the fabric conditioner of the soft cotton sheets and couldn't help but wrap herself tightly within her bedding. That was the moment she gave in to her emotions once more.

Diana had been a mess for a number of months now, over a year in fact. She had been more than a mess, she had been a complete and utter disasterand couldn't see a way from of getting out of her current situation. The number of people she had slept with in the past year or so had been rising at an alarming rate. Nolan had been the thirty-second on her list. He was one of the few she had gone back to, but now it was too much. He was so damn carefree, having just finished school, high school. He had never been in love and had never been attached to anyone. While Diana wasn't attached to him, she couldn't help but think of the moments when she had been attached in the past. That was the problem when you went back to somebody who was simply a fling you begin to project what you want to feel upon then, even if you were trying to be a cold-hearted bitch. That pain filled her up, overpowering her whole body into unexplainable, and that pain she was currently feeling was something which was almost impossible to move on from.

No matter how many people she got under her, she just couldn't find someone to trust, someone who knew who she was, someone who understood her actions and why she was this way.

Diana was crying, doing her best to stay silent. She didn't want to ruin the night her brother had planned with his friends, she didn't want to be a bother because that wasn't like her. She was crying because she couldn't get close to anyone any more, not emotionally at least. She used those around her as toys to give her a moment of satisfaction, and a moment where she was close to someone. The feelings she craved disappeared the moment she left those sheets. What she wanted was love, but what she got was lust.

Diana was a beautiful girl; she knew it, and everyone around her knew it. She didn't have an issue with the sex side of things, in fact, she had always enjoyed sex; ever since she had lost her virginity at the fifteen. She wasn't bothered that the guy never phoned her again; she had heard that story so many times, that it was something that she expected. She had learnt very quickly that sex was power especially in the hands of beautiful young women. She had persuaded and got many items through the use of her body and she wasn't ever going to deny that factor.

There had only ever been one person she had ever chased, and no matter what she did, he turned her down. He was the sole reason Diana was like this. He was the reason she had so much sex; he was the reason that Diana laid on her bed in a ball crying her eyes. The pleasure of sex only lasted a second, but for her, it was worth it. It wasn't a good person, he saw her and a plaything, but the way he got her into bed was tricking her, convincing she was more important to him that she actually was. Yes, Diana had a lot of sex, but she was rather honest with how she stood with the boy in front of her, and the one who had broken her heart and lied to her constantly.

When you took off all the make-up off, Diana was about as broken as you could get. She didn't deal with the situation; she just cried into her bedding hoping that it would all go away, wishing she would get her happy ever after. She would fall asleep with her eyes red, wet and sore.

She would enter her dream world, which would be just as messed up and twisted as her life. She wanted to be okay, but there was nothing she could do to feel better. She was waiting for life to sort its self out, but if you saw yourself as a victim which Diana was currently feeling then it was a lot harder to move on and make your life a little bitter, Diana had to stop sleeping around because, although, she got those moments of perfection, it left her more and more messed up, but she wasn't going to be there for a while. She needed someone to pull her out of her mindlessness and lift her up to be the best version of herself, but we all know that a twenty-one-year-old is not exactly smart when there is a battle and of love and lust.

Diana was in love with someone, who would never want her, and the only way she knew to get attention was by sleeping with anyone with a pulse. That would leave her more broken than she had ever felt before. So she would smile and pretend that everything was perfect. She would scream, and cry and hate herself but this is all about how Diana because the person that everyone can be proud of because at the moment she was on a downwards spiral, but things have to get first before they get better.

Word Count ⇒ 2049