Insanity

I died, for how many times I do not know. The cycle repeats itself, you try to save the one you love and you still fail. Again. And again. Then again. And you tell yourself next time, this time, maybe this time, next time, this time, maybe next time, just one more time, and another, just another. You pray to an entity that may or may not exist. Please just please this time please let me save them next time, no just this time. Time. Time. Time. Time. It's always time. If I've had more time, just a little bit of time, just a bit more time. But you realized that you've been so caught up on changing destiny that you haven't realized you're slowly going insane. To try again and again, the same thing over and over, just to get a different result. But maybe, this time, next time, one more time, no just more time, if I had more time. Time.

When you've lived and died this many times, the feeling of waking up becomes sickening. The shift from encompassing darkness to cruel reality. Maybe. NO. No more maybes. Definitely this time! But how many times have I thought about this? How long have I been in this cycle? I live, die, live, die, live die. Everything is repeated. That's it, repetition. You just repeat what you've started and can't finish. Cursed to repeat it over and over again. No. I just wasn't good enough last time. Yes, that's it! This time for sure!

Cruel reality, when given a spin, becomes hope; hope, in turn, becomes the truth. This is the truth, it has to be. I can change it, I will change it, I definitely change it this...time. Yes, this time. Get up, don't give up, just keep on going. I have lived and loved you for so long that I don't think I can stop. I can't stop. Not until I save you. A love I can obtain but not keep. A love bound in tragedy. This is my story is it not? Controlled by some higher being, playing with my destiny. I will break free and save you. I only learn to love you more every time. I can't rid these feelings, these feelings of love, hatred, happiness, sadness, hope, despair.

I reach out with my hand towards the sky. Maybe in this life, this time, definitely this time I will save you. All I need is more time. But maybe if I can't save you I have next time. Yes, that right I'm blessed to have the next time. There's always next time! Yes! That's it! I can just save you next time. No. But I got to save you this time. What do I want? Why do I want it? I don't know anymore. I just know, I love you.

I just know that I love you.

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And that I will save you.

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This time, I promise.