37 Why are you still here?
"Do I scare you, Soojin?" Yun Ki's voice booms amidst the crickets, breath fanning Soojin's lips.
An unsettled hammering silence takes over, between the girl who's heart throbbed at an insane rate and the man who'd cornered her, towering over her frame, chest plastered onto her own and heaving at the same rate at hers.
They were the same.
They were two dwindling flames, being drawn to one another, yet repelling each other at once.
They were the living embodiment of fire on fire, pure adulterated hatred versus uninhibited love.
Whoever touched them, wold be reduced to a crippling mess.
Such was the intensity between the two flames.
Soojin felt gutted and standing before Yun Ki was becoming increasingly difficult, by the minute.
What could she say?
Would it bring him peace if she told him how she truly felt?
"Y-You do." Soojin says, looking back at him.
Her fists are pinned to her sides and her arms are numb yet she knows the importance of holding her ground.
Yun Ki on the other hand, falters.
His eyes flutter and the intense expressions he was initially sporting, the furrowed brows and the serpentine gaze, disappear in a flash.
"You do scare me, Yun Ki.." Soojin utters, watching his face loose out on colour.
She grows confident, watching him succumb to the verbal arrows she's delivered.
"Do you wish to know why?" She asks, in a firmer tone.
Yun Ki just looks at her, mouth agape, yet stepping away from her body, he once was pressing against, seconds ago.
Watching his reaction and interpreting it as a signal, she continues.
"You scare me when you corner me, just the way you have right now. You scare me when you look into my eyes with your piercing ones, that burn with rage and are so dark that they appear unresectable. You scare me when you grasp my wrist so tight, my hand goes blue.." She mutters, raising her wrist before Yun Ki's face, showing him the red indents he's delivered over her body.
"You scare me when you manhandle me, place your dainty fingers over the strings of my hanbok, ready to tear it apart or when you touch my body and run your sinister hands over parts of me I haven't let a soul touch. What scares me the most is how your eyes turn pitch black when rage overcomes you and you're so blinded by the adrenaline gushing through you, you could even suffocate my windpipe or kill me, in an instant, remorseless. I hate having to live here thinking it could be my last. It's like I'm counting my days. Tomorrow could be my last, today could be my last. You make breathing difficult for me."
Soojin spits out in an adrenaline rush, eyes widening realising she's bourn her heart and her true feelings before Yun Ki, who had been watching her scream at him, voice raised, patiently.
She clasps a hand shut over her lips, not being able to fathom how she's been so vocal.
Yun Ki's nose flare and lips twist oddly, until he composes himself, straightens his slouching form.
He turns away from her, walking towards the exit.
He needed to get away and process her words.
He needed to prevent the monstrous rage from taking over his mind and soul, lest he should push himself into oblivion.
Yet, he'd felt something this entire while.
He'd felt his heart beat against his chest whenever she was near him, he'd felt heat in the palm of his hand when he'd held her close, his mouth would go dry, his eyes got glossy, he'd stare at her like she was ethereal, almost extraterrestrial.
Why was he feeling this way?
Why had he been seeing her in his dreams?
Why was she the woman who'd been extending her hands out to him in his dreams?
Why had his dreams, his figments of imagination gained a face in the form of her?
All while she looked at him with pure disgust.
How could Yun Ki tell her this without making an absolute fool of himself?
He wasn't accustomed to love and yet when he saw Soojin fill with worry over a lacerated thumb, he felt as though his chest had been infused with life and maybe, there was hope for him.
Had she not noticed him talk of redemption?
Had she not noticed how gentle his demeanour had gotten?
Had she not looked at him the way he had been looking, the way he'd been stealing glances at her all evening?
Should he tell her she's stirred something in him?
Should he come clean and tell her he's started seeing a future for himself?
He stops in his ardent determined strides, turning back and looking at her, his own two palms sweaty.
"I-If you hate me so dearly, why haven't you left yet? What's stopping you?" He asks, hoping she'll tell him she sees hope for him.
That she was made for his redemption, like the last drop of heaven on Earth.
Soojin's eyes well up in tears and she engulfs her own body with her arms, covering her arms.
"You…" She trails off, a tear rolling down her cheek and Yun Ki's heart knows no bounds for a moment.
His feet shuffle, perhaps to engulf her in warmth that the chattering wind brings with it, to cover her frail arms, that cover in goosebumps.
"It's out of pure fright. Your terror capsizes me. The fear of you executing and putting an end to the lives of the only ones I've known to be mine, scares me." She completes, sobbing into her arms, shoulders shaking with every sob that escapes past her lips.
Yun Ki freezes in his spot.
She hates him.
She hates how powerful he can get when he's blinded by anger.
But she's crying like a baby before him, sinking down to her knees in the finest of silks, her knees hitting the dirty and cold concrete.
He wants to run over to her, envelope her frail form in his, run his fingers over her wet glistening face and plant his lips over her shaky ones, delivering her the composure he wish he could have had himself, in the lowest moments of his life.
But she is the way she is, because of him.
He's turned her into a rock because of his monstrosity and the demonic aura he exudes much against her angelic one.
He walks up to her, legs heavy and weighing a ton.
She nudges her face away from her hands, looking at him approaching her and just as he's reaching an arm out before her, she's wincing, falling back on her bum, guarding herself from his outstretched hands.
She's blocking his hands from her physicality, turning her head away as though she's afraid that he'll break her, shatter her into a million pieces.
Turn her into someone like him.
Disfigured and Hideous.
"N-No..Stop, d-don't hit me..I-I'm sorry.." She winces, back piercing the pole against which she was once pinned against by Yun Ki.
He stays still, not knowing what she's doing and yet he understands once she begs of him not to raise a hand over her.
He goes berserk, palms balling into fists, knuckles going blanch.
It was creeping up his veins again.
It was resurfacing.
It was taking over him, his senses.
It was intoxicating him and he loses all control over his being.
"AAAAHH" He screams.
Delivering a hard punch over the pole Soojin was seated against.
A loud crack is heard.
Concrete falls off as dust from above her.
"Get out of my sight! Get out before I do something I regret..Soojin, get out of my sight!!" His authoritative voice booms loud and clear as he keeps planting his fists over the hard concrete.
Soojin snaps, scurrying to her feet, wiping the tears off of her face, watching him hide his face in the pole, blood gushing out of the crack he's delivered in the pole.
His face is snug against the pole, holding onto it with all his might.
She reaches for his arm, that's wrapped around the pole.
"Y-Yun Ki.." She whispers.
He wrings her hand from his own.
"Leave, Soojin. Leave before the monster in me unleashes itself before you.." He cries into the hard surface, masking his face from her.
His voice is shaky and Soojin is shocked by his state.
She leaves, nonetheless.
