1 The first

I wrote a diary when I was in College. About boys mainly. How I learned that I could hold a feeling for someone without him saying a word to me, I like you only in my dreams.

My first boy is my fifth grade seatmate. His name is Joni. A very smart guy, very sociable, liked by everyone. I learned that I like him one day he went to our house. He belong to a religious group the Jehovah's Witnesses with his Parents. I barely looked at him while opening the door and he looked at me from head to foot smiling, he said "Hi" I froze and closed the door quickly. I shouted for my Mom to answer the door instead. I looked in the mirror and saw that I hadn't fixed my hair as I was getting dressed too fast I forgot about it. Ever since that day I was always awkward around him. He rides his bike to school every morning, and he always cuts classes to go home during recess time. One time he told me to look out for the teacher and if she asks he told me to lie for him, because he really needs to go home. I asked him if he was feeling okay, he just said he needs to go the bathroom. I laughed inside and held a smile. I knew he trusted me, but I thought why would he tell me something like that? just a very unfiltered boy Joni was I kept my composure and said " I got you". He likes to tinker with my things a lot. He looks inside my bag and asks what's my lunch each time. He sometimes forget I'm a girl. I always carry a comb, umbrella, a pencil case and books. But he told me I was not very girly. My hair was short from first grade, I was not very pretty, my Mother always cuts my hair short so I would not have lice. I don't wear a short skirt, I have a very standard black shoes never anything with color or pattern. I was considered unattractive by other boys. I simply was invisible. He just laughed at my stories. Each time he smiles I melt like butter, each time he jokes about his shorts I laugh out too. Not many guys wear them at school, they all wear pants. He was simply a standout. The last time I saw him was our graduation day, he waved at me, I waved back. Although my heart was sad, I was also happy to have met him and was his seatmate and he was my first best friend.