1 15 August 2020

So, I'm keeping track of the days that I am spending, away from my home. First time living alone in a rental room.

450 dollars per month, a condominium with my personal bathroom. Free wifi and aircon with a swimming pool. Can do some light cooking and I can freely use the washing machine whenever I want.

Leo tried to tell me that leaving home would be regretful but Ash talked me out of my lost thoughts. Like, I just want a home. But I guess I'm not ready to have one. Or I don't deserve one at all.

I wanted to bring my brother and mother along but I didn't and couldn't. After all, they love my brother more than me. I know it. They've always loved him more. He had the best things. A birthday party, traveled abroad when was only an infant. Endless toys, new clothes. A childhood.

When he came along, I was rendered useless in my father's eyes. I ended up raising my brother on my accord since my father was unable to control his temper at times. I tried everything to impress them, good grades, achievements. But they were more focused on my brother.

Today, a guest scolded me for something I did not do. For the love of God. Honestly, it's a small matter, no need for you to shout. I haven't committed any murders. Another complaint was that the pork was pinkish.

Just the other day, a guest asked if the chargrilled was a dessert when it was clearly stated that it was a starter on the menu. Another asked to have a mocha, which is coffee with chocolate syrup, less sweet. But she then asked for sugar syrup for the drink later.

GG,

Mavislin