1 April 5th ~ Sunday 0:40 a.m.

Exhaustion. Energy. The two things that I can feel right now at this moment. The sweet songs I listen to make me feel like rain building up in a cloud... no- my feelings are the rain... building up in my chest... yes- all the clouds in me are raining.

I'm not happy. I'm not sad. I'm not angry nor excited. I'm only disappointed. The trivial things that make me feel this way won't leave. Only I can understand. In sympathizing ways, some may understand... but never in empathy could someone see... see the problems in my head... never.

I want him to see, with empathy... in fact I want most people in my unimportant life to know how i feel. I couldn't possibly help or make them feel the things i felt. They just can't process the words from my experience. Ah- I've went on to ranting about my frustration...

I'm glad it's over. I made it. I never won- but I also never lost. The only thing I can do with life is move on- or end it. I will never end it. I don't feel that way. I love my life. I hate it too. I wish things... wish.

That's what disappoints me. The wish... it does not come true all the time. Honestly, my wishes rarely comes true... not unless I do something about it- if i can. It's exhausting. I don't like it at all. The fact that I can't have the wish makes me only desperately want it more. Such things shouldn't be meddled with... but I did anyways, and I don't regret it.

Only I know.