Day 44

They told my parents what happened yesterday… they told them everything they did. They said how they were dating for real now… and they said sorry over and over again.

You know the worse part? My parents congratulated them… but I… I couldn't. For the very first time in my whole life… I snapped at my parents.

"How can you congratulate them!? Do you not care I was hurt!? Do you not realized how this harmed me!?"

I shouted and shouted and said everything I wanted to say for years. They're preferential treatment, the sadness, the pain, everything. I wish I didn't say anything.

I hoped they would take my side, I thought that for once they would be my allies… but they didn't.

"Don't be dramatic" they said "She's better off with your brother. Sweetie let's be honest. Two girls can't make it out in the real world. She's better with him. Don't be selfish, be happy for them".

Their words broke me in half. I was ready to just go to my room, but my brother surprised me. He was looking at me as if it was the first time he saw me and his mouth was hanging open. He snapped at our parents.

"Is this what you've been telling her every time I'm not around!? Is this how you're treating her when she's alone!? We're the ones in the wrong here! She and me! She was her girlfriend, and I am her brother! We're the ones that betrayed her and you decided to make it sound as if it's her fault!? What the hell is wrong with you!?"

I think that was the very first time my brother realized; he realized the damage he did… Unfortunately, it's too late.

I'm so tired my dear confident. Do you want to know a secret? I'm sure you do! You always kept my secrets for me!

Before coming here, I went to the bathroom, my mom takes sleeping pills most of the time… I decided it's time for me to sleep. They can keep their perfect son and I, the useless child, will disappear!

I can't be here anymore… I just can't… they finally made it! They finally broke me and honestly… I don't think I want to put the pieces back together… I'm so broken I don't think I can find all the pieces anyway.

I have to be brave now! I have to say… the pills feel a little heavy on my hands but I'm sure I'll be a peaceful slumber.

…It's done, I drank them all… I was a little afraid at first but now I feel so calm… my eyelids feel heavy… do you think I will die soon my dear confident?

I wished you could reply to me… being alone in my last moments is too much… but I have no one that would be by my side…

I hope I don't open my eyes again… goodbye my dear confident … it wasn't long but… I was happy writing in your pages