24 Chapter 24 : Love Is A Lie

Ever since TUFF, nothing was the same.

I got back home to be the saddest version of myself.

The whole group of mine was off and we didn't really go out much often either.

During this period, I really got time to think.

Like actually think over what the heck was I doing.

Why was I being like this?

Why couldn't I pay attention to people around me and not just Rose?

Yes. Just let go.

She's none of your concern now, she has a boyfriend.

Then I remembered Rachel.

She was always there, loving me.

I realized that maybe I made her feel like crap, when she waited for me just because my stupid self was obsessed over someone who didn't love me at all.

But Rachel.

She's beautiful, kind, talented, caring and actually genuinely loved me. She's basically got it ALL so why was I so blinded??

I remembered her face.

I remembered the times she'd look at me.

The long paragraphs she'd text me, saying how much I meant to her.

Whoa.

I realized that,

I wanted to be in love with her.

And if I did, this wouldn't just be a one sided thing anymore, we loving each other would be the best feeling in the world.

I gave this a lot of thought.

Maybe I could stop her from being heartbroken, like I was in the past.

Didn't she deserve my love for her aswell?

I started practicing my lines. What was I supposed to say?

Keep it simple.

Right?

Yeah no, I brought her a ring just because I'm extra😂

I know. But I really thought she deserved it.

I practiced these exact words.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't realize how much you loved me earlier. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting for 7 whole months, and the fact that you stayed that long, really surprises me. At first I didn't know, but now I do, I think I've fallen in love with you Rachel.

So yes,

*Pulls out the ring*

Would you want to be my first, and my last girlfriend?"

I couldn't stop smiling because this was ACTUALLY GONNA HAPPEN.

Maybe I could find happiness here.

Maybe this was it.....the end of my unhappiness.

So for Family Fest 2k16, at church, a week after Tuff,

I decided to propose to her on this day, because I thought I've made her wait whay too long.

I walk into the church, it's packed with people, everyone having a great time with families and their friends.

Yes, everybody from my friends group had come, including Rose and Francis. But I decided to be focused onto my goal of the day.

I was determined to do this. It's now or never.

I was so happy.

I saw Rachel, she looked extremely pretty. I thought to myself this was it.

My first ever time to be in a relationship with someone so beautiful and loving.

It made me so happy to know I was gonna be with the right person.

I went to talk to her.

But something was wrong, she looked really sad.

I decide to go upto her and ask her what's up.

She sees me, and walks away, still sad.

I was confused....was she mad at me?

Or maybe something's bothering her...I wanted to know.

I follow her up into the music room, where everyone's dancing under the fancy colorful lights.

She goes and stands next to the DJ and starts talking to him.

I walk up to her.

The ring was in my pocket.

The music was loud enough, that I had to get a bit closer to her ear to say "Hey, let's talk"

Now this is one of the moments where time, slows down.

Usually with Rose, it was something beautiful.

I look at her arms coming towards me.

I thought I was hallucinating..... because I felt something against my chest...a slight force ........

and I seemed to be moving away from her.

It took me a while to realize, that she pushed me away.

And no, it wasn't just any type of push...

She beckoned me, mockingly, to go away, while still looking towards the DJ.

Everyone in the room saw that.

Everyone.

I was trying hard to believe that maybe it was a joke. But no, she meant what she did. Her face, still the same.

I was embarrassed.

I just walked out of that room and waited for her to come out.

"Hey maybe it's my fault, I probably deserve that for doing this to her....." I thought.

I should probably just talk to her as soon as I can before she gives up.

She's a beautiful person.

I wish I can just tell her that, and love her even more.

As I was thinking this, she walks out of the same room, dragging a guy behind her I've never seen before.

They both enter a random room where there's no people.

And as I was wondering what could possibly be happening,

I hear a loud *SLAP*

Rachel walks out of that room, looking super pissed, and a few minutes later, so does the guy, with his left hand on his cheek, sad as ever.

Although I hesitated, I was even more confused, so I went upto him and asked him what happened.

He said,

"She's mad at her ex for hanging out with some random girl here. She just took the anger out on me, since I'm friends with him."

That made absolutely no sense.

He asked me,

"Who are you tho?"

I walked away without saying a word.

A few moments later I went up to her and told her that me and her were not gonna happen.

And as expected, she was emotionless.

It was 10pm.

I went outside the church, went to a supermarket and got myself a drink.

I walked to the terrace of my apartment, sat at the edge and.....just relaxed there.

I took the ring out.

Not gonna lie, it was a pretty gorgeous ring.

But what was purpose would it serve now?

Thinking this,

I flung it high into the sky, hoping to never see it again.

For that ring displayed how stupid I was to not see the truth.

Was everything she had done for me, perhaps, fake?

I looked at the cars passing by, the people walking, the kids playing on the streets, the cat's running about.

For some reason I didn't even cry.

It's almost as if, through all that had happened in my life at this point, I'd become numb.

But I was hurt.

Because at the end of the day,

I realized yet another thing.

That love wasn't real.