40 Small (Dream)

When we got there, the sun was almost up. Long Dao and Kim Sat looked like they were about to wake up as well. While Van Kiep was finding somewhere to hide, I quietly tiptoed back to my leaf bed and lay down, pretending that I was always there. Because we were talking all night, I fell asleep instantly.

I was having a good dream where I was secretly eating snacks in my room without my parents knowing. You know, it is such a good feeling when you are doing something you weren't supposed to do. I was enjoying every piece of chips until someone knocked on the door.

"Din, I need you to help me with something," my mom said.

I was startled and quickly tried to hide my snacks. "Wait a minute! I'm in the middle of something," I tried to buy time.

"What are you doing in there? Din," she asked and slowly opened the door.

"Wait, mom! Don't come in!" I panicked when hearing the door opening, but it was too late.

Mom entered the room. I hid my face in my hands from embarrassment, waiting for her to scold me. "Din?" she called me.

"Yes mom," I replied quietly.

"Are you here?" she asked again.

"Huh?" I was confused, so I looked up to her and replied, "I'm here mom."

"Honey," another voice appeared. Behind mom's back, dad walked in. "What are you doing here?" he put his hands on her shoulder.

"Dear," mom turned to dad. "I put snacks on his bed, but where is Din? He always comes for snacks," her eyes began to drop tears and her voice was unstable.

...…��...…

And that was when reality hit me, that I am dreaming, that I am suffering this pain again. Instead of yelling and crying, this time, I quietly sat down on my bed and watched mom and dad.

Dad didn't know how to respond to that, so he silently hugged her, hoping that would help ease her heart a little. "Come out with me. Dinner is finished. I cooked all your favorites today," he said and walked mom out of the room. Mom was still crying on the way out, but then, at the front door, as though she felt something, she looked back into my room.

"Din? Are you here?" she asked again.

"Is there something wrong?" dad asked her.

"I have a feeling that Din is here," she stopped crying and got all worked up.

"Oh, honey," his eyes were heartbreaking to look at. He must think that mom was going crazy.

"No! I'm sure that Din is here! Din? Din?" Mom kept calling my name.

"Din?" this time, it was a different voice that was calling me. "Din?" it was the same voice again.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and saw Long Dao's face from above. "Hi there," I said tiredly.

"Are you okay?" she asked as I was sitting up.

"I'm fine," I replied, then looked at her, teasing, "That was as weird of a question as you are. Why would you ask that." I smiled.

Long Dao didn't punch me or kick me or show any act of violence like she would usually do when I said stuff like that. Instead, she simply replied with, "You are crying."

I raised my eyebrows hearing that, "It must have been a nightmare," I lied. "And Long Dao, it should be 'were', not 'are'."

Her expression didn't change, and her voice was calm as ever. "No Din. You ARE crying," she then walked up and left.

I was confused because I thought Long Dao just messed up her words, but she reaffirmed that she did mean what she said. So I used my fingers to touch my eyes, and notice that tears were flowing without me noticing...