3 Going out on his own Terms

A/N: So if you guys aren't aware, Webnovel has been 'shadowbanning' comments recently. This means that any comment that contains profanities in any form, will be automatically deleted.

So words like: Fuck, Shit, Bitch, Bastard, Cock, Bollocks are all nonos. Even words such as: Sex, Hell, and Damn are out too. Basically, if you want to comment using forms of those words, you will need to get creative.

Well, Enjoy the chapter...

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Once again, Shane found himself within the dreamscape. The ground was completely frozen, a thick solid white layer covering what used to be soft green grass. The ever-present fog was thicker than any time before and against the laws of gravity it was carrying tiny, sparkling ice crystals within itself as it swirled around him.

Shane clenched his fist and grit his teeth in a determination he rarely felt before now. 'This may very well be my last time here so I'll be damned if I can't at least get her to say something to me, maybe I can get her to talk about cultivation hmm'

Against his wishes, he could feel a very childish excitement bubble up from within him at the thought of real cultivation and he took a few satisfying moments to recall all his favorite cultivation novels 'Ahh, Martial World, PMG, LLS… okay that one was a guilty pleasure, ATG…' and as soon as the excitement came it was replaced with nothing but fear and trepidation.

Shane stood there like a statue, his pupils shrunk to the size of pinpricks, and his vision blurred as his eyes roved about in their sockets.

"H-h-how!!? How did I never make the connection? Her name is a dead give away and the type of energy surrounding her was obviously Ice based! How could I have possibly read that and not realize who she was!? Does that mean she is real and this isn't actually a dream??" He thought aloud, raising his voice to a shout for the first time in years.

Shane stood there, hands shaking and rapidly interchanging between insane nervous laughter and lip-biting silence as his brain worked at a million miles an hour, trying to make sense of the situation.

'None of this makes sense, the first time I met her was many years before the novel ATG was written, and even if it were out when I last came here, I had no knowledge of it. She was also clearly influencing this place with her ice profound energy even then' Realisation also struck him at this time and understanding of just what that barrier surrounding her was and why he felt that instinctive sadness, the first time he saw it.

'Ahh, no wonder she was so cold to me last time. She must have already started to cultivate the Frozen Heart Arts' Another brief pang of hurt in his chest that she would go to such lengths to shut him out but he pushed it aside as it was quickly replaced by anger. 'Who in their right mind would give a twelve-year-old child an art that completely shuts out their emotions'

Shane, now beyond caring whether Qingyue was actually real or a figment of his imagination, decided that all that actually mattered was to just meet her and talk to her one last time. He gathered his previous determination and took his final first steps in this cold white world.

Whether it was his single-minded determination or some higher power that took mercy on him, he did not know but after only a few steps he found himself once again on a familiar but completely frozen stone path. He took a moment to gather his wits about him and...

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THAT!!??" before losing them completely and breaking his no shouting streak for the second time in as many minutes.

In front of Shane was what could only be described as a literal shitstorm of ice and frozen debris swirling around what he presumed to be the pond. It was an honest-to-goodness tornado of ice and it did not look in any way welcoming.

Still, Shane firmed his mind and decided he would at least try to reach her. He was already dying, surely a tornado made of ice would be a much more interesting way to just ~let it go... pffft he actually chuckled at that 'Wow, what a time to develop a dark sense of humor. Maybe this whole situation is messing with my head more than I thought'

And with that disturbing thought, he took a step towards the edge of the tornado, and contrary to his expectation, he wasn't immediately swept into the tempest. Yes, it was cold, in fact, it was painfully cold, and yes it was like trying to walk forward while someone pushed you from the side but it wasn't impossible and this gave him hope.

What Shane didn't realize was that at that moment, his body had started to emit a soft glow that seemed to slow the Icy winds right before they smashed into him.

The most noticeable thing after the biting cold and buffeting winds was the rapid draining of his mental strength and build-up of fatigue in his limbs that only increased with each step he took.

Finally, after what felt like days but could have only been a few seconds, Shane emerged from the swirling wall of fog and ice and collapsed onto his hands and knees in a completely white and silent world. He tried to get his breathing under control but all he could manage was a few short and sharp breaths of the freezing cold air that stung his already burning lungs and throat.

Finally, he raised his eyes to the middle of what used to be the pond and gazed upon her... Sat there in the lotus position unmoving as if the time passed since he last saw her was mere minutes rather than the years he knew it to be.

This time she seemed to have grown up quite a bit, maybe she was around fifteen years old now. She sat there completely unaffected and detached from the world with her long, silky black hair, high-quality blue robes, and a thin veil made of ice covering her face. He could tell she was beautiful, unbelievably so but to him, she was so much more than that.

He shakily attempted to stand but his traitorous legs had already stopped obeying him and he collapsed back onto all fours. Deciding to just work with what he had, he crawled to where the old Chinese Willow was now just a frozen sculpture and a mass of icicles and leaned against it.

He took a moment to organize his thoughts and summon his courage before taking a deep breath and opening his mouth.

"Hello Qingyue, this may very well be the last chance I get to speak to you and there are a few things I need to say so I'll just go ahead. I know you can hear me anyways.

At first, I thought this was a dream and you a mere figment of my imagination... that my childish mind created to help me deal with my illness. A way to escape the pains of real life if you will. Well, that's not entirely true, at first all I really cared about was having a friend to laugh and play with. Hehe *cough cough*."

Shane paused for a few seconds to regain his breath as he lost himself in the memories before he smiled softly.

"But that's how kids are I guess.

Back to the next part, well you see I never really had many friends and so when you appeared in my 'dream' and spent time with me, it didn't matter to me whether you were real or not because spending time with you helped me through it all...

Well except for the last time I found myself here and you shut me out completely. That hurt Qingyue."

His face showed a pained expression for a moment, but the girl's eyes easily caught it and she visibly flinched.

"I think that was also the time when I started to doubt whether this was all real or not.

I mean how could a figment of my own imagination shut me out of my own dream? It didn't make sense and unlike all of the times before, I actually managed to keep my memories and I realized for the first time that you and I were most likely not from the same world."

He paused there to take a few laborious breaths but never seemed to be able to fully catch his breath back. He glanced down at his hands that were starting to become ethereal.

It reminded him a little of the Tardis from Dr. Who. 'Another spike of dark humor, I'm on a roll today! Damn, I'm so tired, seems as if my time here is running out maybe a little sleep would help… No focus!' With a small slap to his cheeks, he was about to continue when…

"Why!! Why are you telling me this!? Are you here to test me or torment me? Are you some sort of heart demon?" A voice as frigid as the frozen tundra yet melodious as a thousand delicate wind chimes.

She steadily rose to her feet, A cyclone of unbelievably sharp pieces of ice beginning to form around her and with righteous indignation burning between her brows. No doubt an absolutely terrifying sight for the common man yet Shane could only laugh.

"hahahahahahaha!", how could he ever be afraid of her? Unfortunately, the laughter couldn't last and devolved into hacking coughs as Shane once again tried to get his breathing under control.

She raised her hand as the Ice and frozen winds gathered in a spiraling motion towards her palm, blue streaks of visible power burst into life and joined the pull as the overbearing force generated in the center of her small hand grew to a palpable level... "I'm dying Qingyue" And diffused as if it were all a lie.

Shane placed his now almost see-through palm atop the visible crystalline surface of the barrier that had separated them for the last few years and continued.

"My illness has reached a critical stage and I have decided that I've had enough" Shane proudly raised his chin. "I achieved what I wanted to achieve with this life and now I'm gonna go out on my own terms. My only regret was that I couldn't talk to you one last time so here I am. *cough cough cough*."

Shane's eyelids started to flutter closed and as he desperately fought against the tiredness that wanted to claim him he managed to open his dry lips for what was probably the last time and decided to make it count.

"Unfortunately this is goodbye, I wanted to thank you for all the time we spent together at least once and Qingyu.. ...ake ...are ...f yo... sel…"

The next thing Shane felt was a gust of wind followed by two small hands holding him in an icy grip and a single crystalized tear on his cheek before he faded completely from that world and darkness claimed him

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Qingyue watched with undisguised horror as Shane's normally bright and sharp red eyes misted over and started to become unfocused, his slightly bronzed skin now pale and translucent as if he had no mass. With effort, he took a shaky breath and licked his lips.

- Before she knew it, she was in front of the barrier with her hand raised to match his, although as hazy as his eyes were he did not notice -

"Unfortunately this is goodbye,"

Her heart thumped unnaturally in her chest, with an emotion she hardly recognized… it was fear, 'fear of what? Fear of never seeing him again, never speaking to him again? or something else? But I should be unable to feel this way' She desperately searched for answers to her own question.

- unknown to both of them, nigh invisible spiderweb cracks started to spread at terrifying pace throughout the crystalline barrier -

Shane continued, barely a couple of seconds between the two sentences but to Qingyue the time almost came to a standstill as her mind went into a frenzy "I wanted to thank you for all the time we spent together at least once…"

A pain in her chest this time, as if a red hot poker was searing her flesh and without thinking she phased through the barrier, completely ignoring the cracks that became very visible at this moment as a shockwave spread around the circumference of the faceted structure.

With a sound like a weird mix between a thunderclap and a laser blaster, the cracks spread at a terrifying speed, and huge shards of glass-like, transparent ice began falling all around her before disappearing into nothing as they hit the floor.

None of this mattered to Qingyue as she had eyes only for him… Her hands grabbed his clothes in desperation and she raised her ear closer to his mouth in time to hear him say.

"and Qingyue.. take… care.. of… yourself… ok..." A single frozen tear fell onto his cheek and then he was gone.

She could have been happy that his last words were only for her and on a certain level she was but that was pushed aside by the all-encompassing sadness and regret. Yes. Regret.

At this point it didn't matter if he was actually real or not, all that mattered was that he was gone now and she was once again alone.

A tempestuous scream bubbled in her chest like molten fire and worked its way out of her throat as the cyclone of Ice and wind around her grew incredibly wrathful for a moment as if threatening to consume everything…

And at the height of its power, the tempest suddenly died down to its previous swirling silence. Qingyue, with visible effort, locked away the crippling sadness and all the other turbulent emotions inside of her heart and once more donned an indifferent mask.

With almost robotic movements, she retreated back to the center of the frozen pond and assumed the lotus position once again.

The only evidence of Shane ever being there and ever having affected the tranquility of this place at all were the two streaks of frozen, crystalline tears on the girl's face; the barely visible hairline cracks along the faceted barrier and a tiny patch of stubborn green under the frozen willow. A last reminiscence of where he had disappeared from this world.