4 Confide in me

Ren skipped school for the next two days. On the third day, he found Shinobu sitting on the rooftop, slouched against a wall and smoking.

He sat beside him and pulled his knees to his chest.

"Hi," Ren began cautiously. Shinobu only gave him a glance in acknowledgement.

"My mom is feeling better," Ren continued. "She's going to therapy."

"That's good," Shinobu commented, not that he knew what therapy entailed.

"Thanks for being there for me." Ren hugged his knees tighter and he blushed in sheer embarrassment. "You must think that I'm pathetic. That's the second time you've had to save my ass-"

"You're not," Shinobu cut him off. "Pathetic, I mean."

Ren was grateful for that although he couldn't agree entirely. He was also aware that Shinobu hadn't asked for any details. In fact, he hadn't asked for anything at all.

Suddenly, Ren wanted to tell him everything.

"She was a successful interior designer when she married my dad. It was arranged."

"You don't have to tell me," Shinobu began.

Ren couldn't stop. "But he left us when I was eight. It was a scandal in the family. My grandparents disowned him. My mom never quite got over it. I think she never wanted to get married in the first place. She started drinking."

He didn't want to add that what his mother had almost said the other night was that she never wanted to have him. Though god knew she tried to do her duty. The guilt coupled the frustration that it wasn't the life she had imagined for herself drove her to drink in excess.

"She's not a bad mom. Aunt Minami, that's her younger sister, said that she just feels stifled. She wants to get better though so..I think we're going to be alright."

He looked at Shinobu tentatively, who kept his eyes straight ahead. His expression unreadable.

"She's lucky to have you."

Ren could feel his eyes tearing up again. He wiped them and said quickly, "How's your mom like?"

Shinobu's response was detached. His voice void of any inflection. "Overdosed when I was five. Don't know who my dad is."

Ren widened his eyes and felt an awful, sickening sinking feeling in his gut. Here he was rambling about his problems, which now seemed almost inconsequential compared to Shinobu's situation.

Shinobu read his mind. "Don't feel sorry. Shit is shit."

How was this guy the same age as him? Suddenly the maturity and self-assurance which Shinobu carried made sense to Ren. He had to in order to survive.

"So the kids the other day," Ren wondered.

"We're at the same orphanage," Shinobu shrugged. The ice in his voice told Ren that he didn't care to share anymore today.

However, Ren knew that he had been privy to information which was so private and precious. He remembered how happy the kids were. How Shinobu had chosen to buy stuff for them instead of himself. An unfamiliar feeling swelled within him. It made him feel so full and his chest hurt.

"I meant it," Ren murmured. "What I told the doctor. You ARE a friend from school."

Shinobu didn't return the sentiment but neither did he deny it.

The bell rang just then. Ren got up and asked, "I still have to pay for my ramen the other day. Are you working today? We can meet up after school?"

"The station. I'm cutting the last two classes."

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey, where's the beer?"

"You brought the stuff?"

"Alright, man! I've been dying all week."

"Stop fucking around. Share some."

Shinobu leaned against the rail in the park as the rest, a mixture of people from his class and the upperclassmen, fought over the weed. He'd probably smoke a joint later himself.

He took another healthy swallow of beer and was all too aware of the sense of boredom eating at him. Every weekend was the same – sleep, work, drink and smoke. Sometimes if he felt like it, a good fuck. He wasn't particular about gender.

He certainly had enough offers, for whatever reason.

Like the girl slithering up to him right now. She leaned against him and murmured, "You look so hot today. What are you doing later?"

Shinobu could smell the cheap perfume, felt her breasts pressed against his arm and with her face so close, the slight glaze in her darkly lined eyes.

She was high as hell.

"Depends," Shinobu played along.

"I could blow you," she purred.

Shinobu had no doubt that she could but he wasn't one to get laid with people who could barely think straight.

"Sod off, Eri. Go fuck someone else," another voice snarled.

The girl narrowed her eyes and huffed, "What's it to you, Chiaki."

"We're hanging out. Go away."

Shinobu didn't care either way but he shrugged. "Sorry."

Eri straightened up and glared at Chiaki before stomping off, probably to hunt for someone else.

"Were you really taking up her offer? Come on, Kurosawa. You could've asked me."

He turned to face Chiaki, who was from a neighbouring school. He had a pretty face and he used it to his fullest advantage. They've slept together a couple of times but didn't know much about each other otherwise.

"Did you break up again?" Shinobu asked.

Chiaki sighed dramatically. "It wasn't my fault. He was getting clingy."

"Hn."

"Hang out with me tonight," Chiaki demanded. Then he grinned. "Comfort me."

"Not in the mood for consolation sex," Shinobu told him.

A laugh. "It's the best kind!"

Before he could respond, his phone buzzed. Shinobu looked at the screen and just gave Chiaki a brief look before walking to a corner.

'Are you still at work?' – Ren

Shinobu stared at the message and considered ignoring it.

'No.'

'I'm playing pool with the guys. I'm bored.' – Ren

'So?'

'Okay, I lied. It's not boring. I suck at pool.' – Ren

'Too bad. Bye.'

'Wait! You wanna meet up?' – Ren

Shinobu raised an eyebrow. He didn't expect that. Before he could reply, a wall of text hit his phone.

'I mean, if you're not on a date or something. Let's go to the bookstore. I've got one-for-one coffee vouchers.'

The bookstore. Shinobu nearly snorted.

'I don't read. Go yourself.'

'Of course you do. I know you read everything I send you. =)' – Ren

'You don't.'

'You're right, I don't. But it's an educated guess. So…see you there? =) =)' – Ren

Shinobu weighed his options. He looked back at the crowd behind him. Chiaki gave him a puzzled smile but was already being pulled by someone else. The others were starting to cause a ruckus, drunk and high.

In the meantime, Ren was asking him to go drink coffee at a goddamned bookstore.

He typed back succinctly. 'Thirty minutes.'

'Great! Meet you at the entrance. Don't change your mind!' – Ren