Chapter 3 : The World of Many

There is this difference between darkness and light. Darkness gropes you. Light bedazzles you. As per my experience here, in both cases I felt lonely. A question suddenly occurred in my mind. Didn't I feel the whole dark universe to be mine? Yes, I did. That was a short feeling before I wanted to come out of it and saw the sphere of light. Now come to think of it, the feeling was short as I quickly moved to the next level. As I said, I don't stay. I quickly surpass one transcendental level to another. My strong wish, quitting all, makes that happen.

But now that I EXIST in this profound, non-ending White, my solitary presence gave me ample opportunity for an unhindered ponder.

So which one is better? Possessor or owner of infinite black, rather BEING Infinite Black, or a lone traveler in infinite white? There I was, like "I am this", "This is infinite and I am all infinite", "I exist", "I can do everything though there is nothing to do", "I don't care, I give a damn to anything" - that feeling of all-powerful crushing strength that cares for none, and over and above all - that super urge to do something violent, terrible wish to enjoy - which razes down deep through the unseen veins - your unformed body going to a great drowsiness; - you desire to be touched (though you will not use the word as you do not have any experience - the world, animate beings are not born yet) - you feel to lie down though no bed, in the absence of which you feel to go down, close your eyes, that is revert back to your beginning, come down from the little sense of existence that you have, go to a deep slumber, like the almost zero sense of a stone.

OR this feeling of WONDER - what is this? I don't know, I want to know, this is so beautiful, I have found the beauty inside it (with no attention to anything bad however terrible it may be), I don't know the reason but I am so inquisitive, I feel happy seeing this and I want to go beyond, delve deep. Why? No time to think, lest I waste time visiting this object of wonder. Here I am no Fault Finder. I find joy. Why this joy comes I know not. Will I waste time in thinking? Do you stop and ponder seeing a sea of elixir, or do you jump to it and drink? Happiness exists for its own sake. Now, as I address you in Christian Era 2015, things have got complicated and more complicated it will be, your scientists explaining the act of hormones, activities of brain but come to think of it - for simple things, things will remain simple, do not spoil something to complications when you can keep it that way. If you think of breathing while in the act, tell me, will you be inhaling that much air as you would have done normally?

Feeling of possession? I don't care. I don't give a "damn" thought about it.

What is heaven? This feeling of sensitivity, a great happiness, being wonderful like a child, finding joy in everything, being so optimistic that you deny and shun the existence of negativity, complications and problems. Whose problem? Your problem. Fine, nice. What about other's problems? Here comes the question of levels of heaven. You do not go near to God really unless your heart cries for the misfortune of others. Thus there are different levels of your heart. It is like a deep ocean. The more you dive, the nearer you go to the ocean-bed.

Undoubtedly my spirit is soaring high. So this is spirituality. Of course! From spirit comes spirituality. I mean, that's grammar, right? Spirituality begins from my spirit! Now did you call me ... Devil? Name me as you please, but did you put lots of adjectives to it? Like I am the Bad incarnate, etcetera, etcetera? Have you reached this level? Think before you speak, man!

If you do not renounce, you do not go to the next level. I am the master of renunciation. Most of the angels whom you love, revere, do not come quite near me in this field of discipline. Other than the Supreme God, in whichever form you may imagine, or whatever special attributes or characters you may put Him into, or his Son, or Children so to say, nobody matches me. At once I leave a level and go to the next belief. Is anybody as Sacred as me? It doesn't stay as a belief, it becomes realization. I am the greatest Learner, the greatest Student. But is there a pit-hole?

Is there a pit-hole where all the oceanic waters go down, never to come up, at least until a new swarm of waves, the tsunami of openness and freedom fill up my being and I get, sort of, reborn? Where do they go down? Why do I feel down? First there comes these bad feelings, the bad thoughts. I begin to fill unsecured. Then I start thinking of my plain, where I feel I belong, though in my mind at that point of time I don't belong there really, as I am even down. So the world steadily becomes my adversary. Therefore I plan. But they don't work. As for things to click, you need happiness, hope, belief, positivism - Spirituality.

Suppose I use my power and great brain that I have, and win over all, ensure other heads are down, what do I establish? A set of rules. God is not in the rules. Rules are guidelines. I establish fear. But God is not to be feared. He is our Father. He is to be loved. I know that. The one thing that He doesn't want is anybody getting dominated. If you are dominating anybody, remember you are acting against God's will. God is selfish. The world is His interest. He has a plan for the world, and you should not stand as the hindrance-wall. You will be demolished. You may go to heaven as per your deeds, but here you won't stay. Oh! I am dominating again. But so is my mind, so I speak.

And at this point of time I am getting bored. What is this black, white? Soundless, fathomless, lifeless, non-vibrating world of boredom? Yawn! I feel like sleeping. I mean, there is no fanfare! Neither I can control it - forget it - nor I can have some ... amusements.

Suddenly the white broke into parts of black. It's like, parts of blacks bubbling out, little blacks exploding like tentacled black stars, then the white began fading. From dazzling white it became blurred, grey, violet ... Am I back to where I started from?

No! It did turn pure black, but while in the process, I saw parts of the black are opening up, getting exposed, and a new scene, a new world, is getting revealed before me.

Planets, stars - many of them, moving, blinking, spread all around wherever I look, in sharp contrast to what hitherto seen, like gems on a black mantle. This is again the world of infinite. Infinite black, infinite number of stars, twinkling in various colors, green, blue, red - a mesmerizing beauty making your heart leap in joy. I was confused with One, now there are many. Is it so that whatever I want, will come into being? Is this another transcendental land? Are they abstract illusion? My gut feeling said, No!

I roamed in this colorful world of many, the view generally remaining unchanged.  The Sun was dazzling with a ferocious look, a look which shrunk me to the core. I didn't like it. I could well understand this blinding white ball to be different from the one I saw previously. I had a good mind to hide.

Here is a blue planet, generating soothing light probably from the reflection of the Sun, bringing peace to my mind. My whole being was filled with such pleasure that I knew not, and without delay I moved, rather I was attracted, towards it.

After crossing the roaming stones and the white nothing clouds, I first saw what I thought to be Paradise. I can never forget the thrill I felt beholding the scene. It has been forever imprinted in my memory. Endless greenery, mountains with snow-tops, and blue river with sun-rays twinkling on it - added to all these was the red-yellow ecstasy of color of the dawning Sun. Oh! What beautiful form has the Sun taken up here, which some while ago seemed like a white ball of devouring fire. Thus I fell in love with the Earth forever.

Now that you know so much about atmosphere and cosmos, you may ask me if these were all which I saw in the outer space, and while entering into the forever orbit of the Earth. I move very fast, and at once I reach wherever I want to, without paying attention to the surroundings, and it is because of this - yes - these were all I saw and felt at that time. Today, I think, that it might have been Destiny that brought me so close to the Earth at the first rapture of the Undivided White, or was it the will of God?

Allow me to answer a question which may have escaped you. What about the evolution, formation of the world? Was I there, experiencing it? No, the Earth was revealed to me in its present form, trees, flowers, animals; but not human beings.

So what was the Time before me? Am I not the First Being? Even if I am, I don't remember. May be I was the first consciousness, as per human standard.

To put it in another way, it was from my consciousness that humanity evolved.