5 Fuck This...

So, I've been forced to write this by my superiors due to me being touted as the 'Strongest Devil Hunter' or whatever the hell people call me nowadays.

So let's get on with it.

… A short lesson for all the amateur Devil Hunters out there.

Fear comes in various forms, and all its forms come with varying levels of intensity—which is how you react to it. That same could be said about Devils: knowing the kind of fear a Devil represents, goes a long way in determining how you beat it to death—I mean slaughter its ass.

Pick whatever semantic that tickles your balls.

Then again, I'm sure you neophytes must learned that in middle school, so let's get down to the core matter, shall we?

There are various classes of Devils.

That I'm sure you know.

The class that all requires a broomstick or a stab to the head.

The class requires combatable personnel.

The class that requires at least a full squad of combat-able personnel.

The class requires a full squad of compatible personnel with Devil Contracts.

The class that requires elite (read fucking abnormal) personnel.

The class that requires an army.

The class that requires prayers... Yeah, I'm not joking about the last one. All those affected by this class of Devil -the one that goes pew, pew, pew- would understand what I am talking about.

Hmm…

Alright, enough with the depressing talk. Anyways, the question now is; how do you recognize them?

The answer is simple; their sizes and shapes.

Small (too-bad try-again) Devils can be easily beaten provided that you have the advantage of knowing where they all come from and possess decent equipment or martial skill.

The (medium-rare) big ones are always the ones with middle-class firepower. You have to be in a group to fight those kinds of freaks, but there's no need to worry. Their method of attack are simple; punch, squash, stab, squeeze, and so on and forth. You've just got to stay away from their grasp while doing the traditional 'cut it to death' and you'll be fine.

Although there are special cases amongst this class of Devils—that's all about the luck of the draw. So you've got to be entering your fights with a level head in other to properly access the situation.

As for the larger class, (building-size-rare), you've got to have three things to even be capable of properly participating in the fight; accurate knowledge of the kind of fear the Devil represents, combat-able teammates of at least, 5 or more, who can carry you through the fight, and a Devil Contract.

The last one is a must because that will help you to easily even the odds.

Army-level Devils (ultra-super-rare), well, as its name implies, you need to have an army to even dent it. Even then, you will be looking at an untold number of deaths. So all you've gotta be hoping as you enter a fight of that caliber is that it isn't going to be you that's to be the next unidentifiable mashed tomato.

Eh, but that's the joy of the draw, right?

Concerning the kind of Devils that require prayers, (super-ultra-mega-rare-extra-repeat), well, what can I say except good luck? Identifying those kinds of Devils is easy, as most -read 'most' not 'all'- tout their name and kind for any poor bastards to hear.

Those kinds are usually intelligent, even more than us humans. Luckily, most are of a 'one-track' mind. They look at you with a smile on their faces as they thoughtlessly tear apart your stomach and then eat your guts while expecting to hear a thank you.

Identifying those types is easy, those kind of Devils comes in two forms; the colossal large and the humanoid.

The former will thoughtlessly kill you and won't care—then again, that's typical of the normal Devil. The later... I don't want to say anything that will incriminate me.

Fuck it... To anyone reading this—be they, Devil Hunter or some civilian grunt; remember this.

They look like us. They smile at us. They walk among us.

But always remember...

They are certainly not for us.

An unedited excerpt from 'Devil Hunting for Twerps' by *

ᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥ

While it was true that Kishibe had been expecting a tough fight -the cloud-splitting slash and large Crocodile Devil outside spoke volumes of the Devil's strength- he had not been expecting it to be like this.

"Urgh!"

With a loud * bam, Kishibe found himself acquainted with a wall at the other side of the mall.

'What the fuck happened?' His thoughts went haywire at the sudden procession of events.

Kishibe forcefully grunted, shaking away the dizziness and head ringing. His entire body rattled in pain, though surprisingly, none of his bones felt broken despite being punted hard enough to get stuck in a wall. Kishibe knew that his physical specs were above the norm amongst his fellow humans.

He could punch hard enough to dent an 8-inch steel. Fast enough to evade a hail of bullets. Tough enough to withstand a truck barreling against him - though he doesn't want to experience the last one ever again.

But above all else, Kishibe is still human.

Punching steel still hurts. Evading bullets takes more focus than what he uses when taking a dump. The truck, well... A moment of stupidity that won't be repeating itself.

Hitting a wall as hard as Kishibe just did should have broken more than a few bones, or at least, pushed his body to the brink of consciousness. But here he is pulling himself out of the wall, while still in pain, but at least still conscious enough to do that.

'Did I level up my physical specs without me knowing...? No, that's not it.' Pulling himself out and brushing away the dust on his person, Kishibe narrowed his eyes as he stared at the figure confidently strutting out of the eatery. 'That Devil... It did something just as soon as it hit me.'

Just as soon as the fight began, and Kishibe was about to make his move. The Devil teleported—no, moved, it wasn't some fancy power. The Devil had moved and shoved him with a glowing palm.

Kishibe had the feeling that what had mitigated the damage done to him was the glow around its palm. What had punted across the mall was a simple palm toss.

'Palm toss... Fuck, that rules out any possibilities of fancy tricks. His sheer strength and speed are greater than mine. What to do? What to do?'

Spitting to the side, Kishibe dipped a hand into his jacket and produced a knife. It wasn't an ordinary knife despite its lackluster appearance. It was the physical manifestation of a Devil Contract Kishibe had made with the Knife Devil.

He still had four other Devil Contracts in his sleeve, but the Knife was his personal favorite for melee combat—two which he had would bring about collateral affecting the civilians still hiding in the mall and the last wouldn't be of much help against this unknown Devil.

Kishibe would like the think that it was the sight of his Devil Contract that brought the Devil to a standstill while looking at him in shock. But the look the Devil threw at him wasn't shock born out of fear—it was shock born out of exasperation.

"Kishibe..." The Devil said. "You're Kishibe, right?"

'Now how does he even know about me?' Kishibe thought, but outwardly replied. "Well, well. Seems like I can tick that off my bucket list. Since I'm already famous in Hell as even a Devil like you knows about me?"

"You've gotta' be fucking kidding me."

The Devil exhaled as it looked at him with an examining eye. It grinned, placing an arm behind its back while the other was pointed at Kishibe, raised. Beckoning him.

"Come. Show me what one of the best of Humanity has to offer."

Huffing, Kishibe shook his head. A smile unconsciously formed on his face.

Only one thing left to do now, is there?

With a kick start, 25 meters vanished in a second as Kishibe cleared the distance with a knife poised in a slash.

Kishibe won't be taking a slice out of this Devil because he had been directed to do so by his superiors. It would be to wipe that smug smirk off its ugly face.

Humanity ain't that helpless, you know.

But the knife met with resistance, stuck in the palm of the grinning Devil. But Kishibe already expected this. He wasn't stupid enough to believe having a Devil Contract was enough to instantly grant him this match.

'Match...' Kishibe tilted his head in bemusement. 'Why the hell am I having a match with a Devil of all things?'

The Devil's palm snaked across the knife aiming for another blow to the gut. But Kishibe pushed himself back gaining space.

It is holding back. The fact that Kishibe could see its palm approaching said as much.

Better this way…

"Release your restrictions," Kishibe whispered. "… Knife Devil."

There was no explosion of sounds or blare of lightning. But the knife glinted as if something had changed. Well, even a civilian could tell that much from the sudden red aura the blade gave off.

With a slash, Kishibe cut his palm.

"Drink my blood and that of my enemies."

A whisper that came from nowhere and everywhere replied.

[Accepted]

Many in the Bureau had made Contracts with the Knife Devil, but none could truly utilize its power like Kishibe.

"Oh..." The Devil was intrigued—but not deterred. "Seems that you'll make an even better warmup than I'd expected"

Kishibe was already on the move.

[Lacerate]

A slash and red glinted as the Devil lazily hopped away from the gashing arc that tore the ground. Kishibe hotly pursued not giving it a chance to recuperate while sending slash after slash against it.

Luckily, an arc caught the Devil sending it sailing through the air and smashing against the wall on the second floor while leaving a nasty slash on the wall.

Not enough.

True to his thoughts, the dust cleared and the Devil revealed itself wall-walking while looking down at him.

"Seriously, what kind of Devil am I dealing with?"

Flipping, Kishibe deftly kicked his knife's handle sending sailing at the Devil at bullet-like speeds. The Devil slapped the knife away. Sighing, Kishibe jumped and in one movement made it to the second floor with knives resting on both his hands.

One sweet thing about a Contract with the Knife Devil is that one won't be low on knives, anytime soon.

Spinning the glowing blades, Kishibe rushed to meet the Devil in a melee.

Sparks showered as steel grated against flesh but did no visible damage to it.

Grunting, Kishibe weathered a glancing blow, torso throbbing in pain, but it wasn't fatal.

It's still holding back... Fuck.

'Hmm?' Kishibe blinked. 'Since when have I ever been this competitive?'

Huffing, Kishibe threw his knives in the air and with a rising kick sent them after the Devil. But to the Hunter's surprise, the Devil grabbed blades and sent them back with more velocity.

Flipping, Kishibe dodged the two ruby streaks.

'Good. Let's see it dodge this one.'

The fight with the Devil persisted with Kishibe showering the amused Devil with blows that it brushed off, all the while withstanding blows that logically showed had caved in his torso. It wasn't easy, that Kishibe would readily admit, though that doesn't mean he would give up.

He still hasn't exhausted all his cards.

Soon enough, it was ready. The reward for his efforts.

The small knives in Kishibe's hand squirmed and changed into a butcher knife straight out of a horror movie -blood dripping and all.

'Using the knife like this takes a lot out of me... I'll wring out a higher pay from the upper-ups for this.'

But that couldn't stop the small smile on Kishibe's face from widening.

When was the last time he had even gotten his blood to pump this much? When was the last time he had ever had to reach this level to fight a Devil...? Eh, the second part is all about luck. But even so, the Devil would have sustained a staggering amount of injuries by now.

Hah... This is fun—being on the struggling side for once.

There was a whistle in the air. It wasn't one that melody or joyful biddings. It spoke of death—a painful death.

The Devil paused, regarding the floating blades menacingly pointed at it.

"Heh~ so that's where the knives vanished. So what are you gonna do now? Pincer me?"

Kishibe simply shrugged. "Basically yes... Cut him up nice for me, Knife Devil."

[Slice 'n Dice! Rip 'im to Shreds! Tear 'im Apart!]

Smiling, the Devil clenched its fist. "You're an interesting dance partner… Allow me to show you my magic trick."

Kishibe -for the first time in Devil Hunting- ignored the bad feeling welling up in his guts.

For some reason, the air felt heavy -oppressive even. But Kishibe decided to ignore whatever was about to happen next in favor of putting his entire weight behind this blow.

"Ultra-rare-hyper-giga-extreme..."

The crimson rain of steel glinted down in a piercing whistle.

"Hyper, again... Super Punch!"

What happened next was, well... Hilarious.

The Devil swung its fist up and from it were visible Mach cones.

The knives vaporized. The ground and windows were blown in bits. Kishibe... Flew bee before a storm.

While in the air, Kishibe considered his other Contracts—immediately, dismissing the consideration as soon as it appeared.

Even now, Kishibe could still tell it was holding back. Throughout the entire fight, the Devil had been playing with him.

Funnily enough, what ceased Kishibe's will to fight was the Devil's demeanor.

Throughout the entire fight, Kishibe hadn't been able to sense any bad vibe from it. Oh, of course, it had given him a thrashing but he considered it fair.

Even he would give anyone who wants to take him to some government without his will, the thrashing of their lives.

"I like him even more than the little vixen."

Soon enough, Kishibe was once again acquitted to a familiar wall in the mall.

Only this time, there was no magic voodoo to ease the pain.

'Fuck... I'll be having my larger pay or next time it's boycotting.'

* Bam! *