4 The bakery OR titanic mana fart
I had a little problem. Of course "in doubt I take everything" was the simplest way to do things, but it was still difficult as fuck! There were still several hundred treasures…
After an hour of thinking, I came up with a few solutions: teleport all the objects or find a way to store them all. For the first, I'm far from having the mana, else I wouldn't have had to improve my magic capacity. For the second, I would need a dedicated tool for storage, like a ring… But the most expensive that I could buy there had a maximum size of 1 cubic meter. And I had no materials to increase it… I went back, a little disappointed, to the inn.
After a few weeks of theorizing, which cost me quite a lot of thinking, I had found a way to increase the size of a spatial pocket! I'll spare you the maths (17 pages of scribbling) and the procedure (3 pages), and I'll just tell you the results. I couldn't increase its space long-term, but I found a way to compress space at the moment I put the objects in it.
After some preparations, I was again in front of the treasure room (once you get the hang of it, you can pretty much enter it as you please). The idea was to put all the objects inside at the same time, so I placed the ring in the middle of the room, and wrote a long and extremely thin string of discretion and protection runes that spread on the entire walls, floor, and ceiling of the room, just in case. I used a bit of levitation magic to lift all the treasures and, after 2 or 3 painful minutes of incantations, barely catching my breath a few times, I twisted the equivalent of 15 cubic meters of treasures in a single cubic meter of space. The problem when you try to do something smart that's never been done before is that it's very uncommon for things to happen as you wanted them to.
The distortion of space had unexpected repercussions: the ground started to shake, while the mana was concentrating in huge quantities in the region. The mana seemed to be attracted by the phenomenon, and the protection runes were about to break. At the moment the process finished, the space of the ring closed and the mana was brutally released. All that mana, before concentrated, was suddenly released, and similarly to a (magic) tsunami, destroyed everything a kilometer around the room.
I picked up the ring and raised both of my arms to the sky:
-Well, Merlin, you wanted your morning bread? So here I come with the BAKERY!!!
I was quite pleased with myself, however, I urgently had to go. While I was drowning in euphoria, I screamed a bit loud. On top of that, the tsunami-like phenomenon caused a lot of very noticeable damages and was certainly thoroughly remarked. I had to go, NOW! I rushed to exit (I may have or may have not been able to teleport back but understand me: the treasure room is on the second floor and the tavern I stayed at was certainly destroyed, it would be bad to fall to my death)!
-Hey you!
Shit, there was a hero at the doorstep.
-What did you do?
-Listen, we can peacefully come to an arrangement, can't we, I can explain everything to yo…
I was interrupted by a kick in my direction, and more particularly the cutting wind that came out of it! Oh fuck he wanted to kill me! I immediately ran as fast as I could while holding my ring, as the place I was at just a moment ago was now a deep crack.
And this is how I ended up being chased by a hero in the ruins of one of the Empire's cities.
When I'm thinking about it, I had some fucking good luck that Vaal wasn't anywhere near his city at that moment…
[…]
And now, here I am spending all my time being bored as fuck, while digging a tunnel… To pass time, being originally a modern internet man (Homo Internet), I sing famous songs one after another:
-I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole, diggy diggy hole! diggy diggy hole!
That song fits in perfectly with my situation…
I start to feel cold, so I take advantage of it to start singing another song, with a slightly shrill voice (okay okay, maybe a slight little bit part of me will agree it was shrill as fuck):
-La neige s'installe, doucement dans la nuit, la neige est reine, à son tour… Un royaume de solitude, ma place est…
[…]
-Libéréeeeee ! Délivréeeeeee ! Je ne mentirai plus jamaiiiiiiiisssss ! Libéréeeeeeee ! Délivréeeeeeeee ! C'est décidé je m'en vaiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssss ! [1]
Ok…
Definitely…
This song is toxic…
This is poison…
The most deadly poison that ever existed…
